My neighbor grew up Amish, but left the heritage when he was 18 years old. He first moved to Akron, and then here to Columbus. Some things stayed with him, like his know-how for construction and overall touch to details. He also kept up with his love for animals, raising goats right here in the backyard of suburbia Columbus. The goats are quiet animals, they don't get out and destroy the neighborhood gardens. If he didn't take them out occasionally, you would never know they were there due to the 6 foot privacy fence that he hand built almost a decade ago. He lived a quiet life, that is up until recently.
He approached me last week with a subtle series of knocks on my door. "Good to see you, Pat" I answered. He struck off some simple conversation, and I couldn't figure out why he was there. Perhaps one of his goats got loose and he was wondering if I saw it, or knew anything? The kids from the block over had vandalized two mail boxes last week, maybe they had something to do. I was right however, it was about the goats, but had little to nothing to do with them getting out. He asked me if I had a girlfriend, and if her and I would like to have a foursome with him and one of his prize goat studs. I took a moment to think about it, but the answer came to me.
"Pat" I said, "I would love to be jizzed on by your finest goat while donkey punching you as my girlfriend licks shit off my ass." He seemed shocked at first but my idea seemed to stick with him. "This is just a one time thing you know, so lets make it work. What time are you free next week?" He hesitantly replied. I thought about it and the 28th of this month seemed like a good day, after all, the weather outlook is clear. So I ask you, BStowers023, are you free to record us with your camera phone? You obviously possess some sort of talent that could make Andy Warhol cry, and we would gladly make it worth your time compensation wise.
Let me know,
-Ryan.