Casper
-
Posts
39,551 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
135
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Gallery
Store
Calendar
Posts posted by Casper
-
-
-
Fucking awesome.Originally posted by yenner:That's 'cause sega sucks the left testicle of a one-nutted donkey. Figure that one out.
-
I'm fucked. Both of my vehicles have no exhaust past the manifolds. Hahaha.
-
No shit!? Did you figure that one out all by yourself!?Originally posted by Venomss:Word of advice, if you have the word "pee" in your screenname, and you ask about "watersports," you deserve to get responses like this.
-
Buwhahahahahahahahaha!Originally posted by Super J:Its all about the kneeboard
So wrong... so wrong.
What do you use the kneeboard for in watersports?
-
If you lapped the guy in last place, you'd be overtaking him.Originally posted by Inspeckta:ANSWERS
Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong
again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?!
[/b]
As Jen would say, URWRONG.
But I got owned on the others.
-
1. Third from last.
2. Second to last, or you lapped the person. No definite answer.
3. 5000 or 2100, depending on your definition of "take"
4. Nanu
B. WTF? Tell him?
-
-
Yes, the title says it all. If you get offended, it is your fault and not mine.
32 Offensive Jokes
1.Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special Olympics?
A: Not being retarded
2. Q: What's blue and fucks old people?
A: Hypothermia
3. Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered wives' shelter?
A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her
4. Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time?
A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
5. Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
A: Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
6. Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in common?
A: They don't fucking listen.
7. Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
A: Gonorrhea
8. Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
A: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt once in a while too.
9. Q. How can you tell a macho woman?
A. She rolls her own tampons.
10. Q. Why do gays like ribbed condoms?
A. Better traction in the mud.
11. Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.
12. Q. What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson?
A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13 years old.
13. Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it.
14. Q. What do you get when you cross two black people?
A. Your ass kicked.
15. Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
16. Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.
17. Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen?
A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty miles an hour.
18. Q. Why do women call it PMS?
A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
19. Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
20. Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
21. Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
22. Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A. The cake jumps out of the girl.
23. Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
24. Q. How is pubic hair like parsley?
A. You push it to the side before you start eating.
25. Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A. You know she'll swallow.
26. Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the
same day in Iraq?
A. They don't want to wear out the camel.
27. Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
28. Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
29. Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is
bedtime?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand...
30. Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
A. Look inside your pants; if you have a dick, it's not time.
31. Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.
32. Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it
-
-
The Temptation (Read it, you lazy fuck)
True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me."
I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.
The moral of this story is:
"Always keep your condoms in your car."
-
Anyone else here into watersports?
-
fixedOriginally posted by GAS,GRASS,OR,ASS:mr geero then kegs and lots of drunken stupidity
-
Holy shit I'm still laughing.Originally posted by LJ:http://www.lasvegasweekly.com/2002/05_23/images/PaulyShore.jpg
http://flathat.woodstream.net/ColumbusRacing/Northwood/hoblick/hobdiz.jpg
BROTHERS!
"How's it feel to be dead, war boy?"
"I don't know, how's it feel to be a dick, dick?"
-
Hahaha... Trailor Trasher. Fucking great.
http://www.worth1000.com/entries/52000/52413yFhE_w.jpg
-
Hell yeah dude! That's the chick that cuts my hair too! She is fucking hot. I love getting my hair cut there. It is like my little treat to myself. Not only do I get a good looking haircut, but I get a lapdance too!Originally posted by Wease:I'm not sure how you cut it, but I have mine cut as a fade and have Mop at Tuttle Mall do it. Emily does it and she's the best. She's a little hottie, too... smile.gif
The Mop > *
-
Your best is 4 seconds? You should be listed in the world record listings then dude.Originally posted by Ricochet:My sargeant and I are always going back and forth trying to kill eachother's high scores on that game in our shop.. Right now he's got the best time of 426. Try beating my beginner time of 4 smile.gif
http://www.astatix.com/cms_hsc.php
You'd be third or fourth in the world.
-
I have several pics of me.
First we have my mom taking me home from the hospital after I was born.
http://s91974474.onlinehome.us/images/Pics/mesmoke.jpg
Next we have me laying in my bed at home for the first time.
http://s91974474.onlinehome.us/images/Pics/meflipoff.jpg
This one is of me wearing my first t-shirt.
http://s91974474.onlinehome.us/images/Pics/fuckproof.jpg
Ah yes, nothing like hanging with some friends. I love my childhood memories.
http://s91974474.onlinehome.us/images/Pics/meparty.jpg
Lastly, my father. God damn he's handsome. I hope I look just like him when I grow up!
http://s91974474.onlinehome.us/images/Pics/mydaddy.jpeg
-
See, why can't all cops be like that? Everyone knows the eat more donuts than catch criminals. The Chicago cops are at least willing to make something of it.
-
-
**In abnoxious Chapelle voice: "Yeeeeeaaaaahhh!"**Originally posted by 20thGTIChick:I actually dont really see the problem with it....
There need to be more women like you.
-
Dude, that's a threat. Straight up.Originally posted by ComaWhite:Then I'll slap you in the face and kick you out of my house.
-
Hehehehehe...
Bitches! X3
Bitch at any moment
Guess What I'll do
(fucking bitches!)
I'll do it to you
?
At Any Moment
Guess what I'll do
I'll do it to you
?
Bitch! What the fuck
What are you tryin' to do to me
You weren't true to me
when I was locked up you fucked something like 34 guys
But I let that slide
cause your ass is bangin' and your titties is fat
I wanted to fuck that, but fuck that!
I never gave a fuck that you put me through the courts
and gave me genital warts
now I stack my nine, I'm goin' for your knees
I'm a blow a mound give your neck a squeeze
As shes standin' there I'm gonna be like
Bitch! you know you done fucked up, right
(Chorus) x3
Girl you know I love you
but now you gotta die
now ya gotta die
now ya gotta die
Girl you know I love you
but now you gotta die
now ya gotta die
now ya gotta die
Never wanted it like that
Bitch don't talk about bitches
I'm fuckin' em
please no fat bitches
I'm fuckin slim
unless theres one of those nice
whos smokin' my shit
I don't care about how I'm fuckin' them
how much it cost big fat crack head
ain't tryin' to hear all them words you said
five minutes bitch and I came
fuck your name and from where you came
I don't give a fuck bitch!
I would kill you!
little shaquedo! You Belinda! You too Passion!
Bitch!
(Chorus x2)
You Bitchheesss!!
One thing I can't stand is these bitches
tryin to take my riches when I aint even got none
I never lie
you know what I wanted all the while
my dick in a verical smile
we kiss and hug and snug and tickle
but the bitch wouldn't even bump my fuckin' pickle
she fucked everybody else in theplace
Its all good, now let me headbutt your face
Bitch!
I love you but now you gotta die
girl you know I love you but now you gotta die
now ya gotta die, now ya gotta die
girl you know I love you but now you gotta die
Never wanted it like that
(repeat chorus)
Girl you know I love you! You dumb bitch!
-
Mallard: according to NADA, the low retail for that bike is $2,555 and the average retail is $3,360. It seems that this bike is in well below average condition. Sorry dude, but that just doesn't sound like a good deal. Thanks anyways.
All: still looking for a bike. I found a 2000 Triumph TT600 for $3000. Does anyone on here know much about these bikes? Everything I've found so far says that it is an awesome bike. I've also looked at a few late 90s GSXRs. Any other bikes for sale that anyone knows of????
can someone help....
in Passing Lane
Posted