Granddad: What's wrong with a man giving away a golden shower? Sounds like a nice gift to me. Riley: (laughs) Granddad: What? Shoot, I wish somebody gave me a golden shower. (Riley laughs) One, I like gold. Two, I like showers. (Riley laughs hysterically) Put it together, hey, that sound like the life, hyoo... Riley: (recovering) If you're good, Santa Claus might give you a golden shower for Christmas. (he laughs) Granddad:Christmas? My man, Santa. Tom: Hey boys! Hey there Huey, Riley. I couldn't help but notice your sign and I hope you boys aren't too upset about me having to prosecute Mr. Kelly. Huey: Hey man, you do what you gotta do. Riley: (interrupting) Why R. Kelly, huh? What did R. Kelly do to you? Tom: He's accused of relieving himself on an underaged girl on tape... which is against the law. Riley: Okay, Okay, Okay. But let's examine this whole peein' thing. So I can pee in the toilet and it's OK, but if I pee on a person it's, like, not OK? Tom: Well...mmm yeah. Riley: Well what if I'm peein' and Huey's in the bathroom, and I accidentally pee on Huey. Should I go to Jail? Huey: What the hell would I be doin' in the bathroom while you're in the bathroom? Riley: Hold up, hold up! Remember when we used to sleep in the same bed when we was littler? From time to time I had a little accident... Huey: You still do. Riley: Shut up! So Mr. Dubois. Mr. "I wanna lock *****s up for peein'", what's the statute of limitations on bed wetting? Why not prosecute me and R. Kelly at the same time, huh? Tom: Now, Riley, no one's going to prosecute you for bed wetting. Riley: And you shouldn't. It's a natural body function. And now every ***** in the world gon' be scared to pee! I may never pee again! Tom: Riley, it was a little girl! Riley: Oh, I seen that girl. She ain't little. I'm little. Tom: Yes. Riley: Gary Coleman's little. Tom: Yes. Riley: Mini-Me is little. Tom: Very. Riley: And to the best of my knowledge, we all managed to avoid gettin' peed on so far! Tom: But what about the victim? Riley: Oh yes! The victim... At what point does personal responsibility become a factor in this equation? Tom: I don't think that's... Riley: (interrupting) I see piss comin', I move. Tom: Hmm. Riley: She saw piss comin', she stayed. Tom: Yes, she did, but-- Riley: And why should I have to miss out on the next R. Kelly album JUST fo' that? (walks away) Huey: (to Tom) Man, you just got beat by an eight-year-old. Riley: (off screen) And, if R. Kelly goes to jail, I'LL PISS ON YO CAT!