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Farmstead Poker Run, August 17th


Unk Greg

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  • 1 month later...

How do poker runs work? Never been to one.

First you dress like a pirate. Then you ride your open pipe hardly to a bar and immediately start drinking beer at oh, 9am. As your 'brothers' show up you can talk about all the time you've spent with them riding in a straight line at 5 under the speed limit. Then you get a route that you either tape to your tank so you can read it, or your back so some gravel-voiced skank with a face made out of beef jerky can read it and scream the directions into your ear over the wind and exhaust noise. When its time to start, you slam down one last beer and don your safety gear, an American flag bandana. Then you follow the route that takes you to five bars. At each bar you drink more beer and pick a card. If you make it to the party at the end, you turn your cards in. Prizes are usually for best poker hand, worst hand, fastest time and ugliest girlfriend. At the party you eat food from crock pots and aluminum roasting pans that's been sitting out for three hours, had countless flies land on it and been touched by every other bikers jackoff hand. You don't care because you've moved onto jack Daniels. Proceed to party down until some guy gets relly drunk and starts a fight. During the confusion, run out with all the cookies and go home.

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First you dress like a pirate. Then you ride your open pipe hardly to a bar and immediately start drinking beer at oh, 9am. As your 'brothers' show up you can talk about all the time you've spent with them riding in a straight line at 5 under the speed limit. Then you get a route that you either tape to your tank so you can read it, or your back so some gravel-voiced skank with a face made out of beef jerky can read it and scream the directions into your ear over the wind and exhaust noise. When its time to start, you slam down one last beer and don your safety gear, an American flag bandana. Then you follow the route that takes you to five bars. At each bar you drink more beer and pick a card. If you make it to the party at the end, you turn your cards in. Prizes are usually for best poker hand, worst hand, fastest time and ugliest girlfriend. At the party you eat food from crock pots and aluminum roasting pans that's been sitting out for three hours, had countless flies land on it and been touched by every other bikers jackoff hand. You don't care because you've moved onto jack Daniels. Proceed to party down until some guy gets relly drunk and starts a fight. During the confusion, run out with all the cookies and go home.

Hmmm, now I know why I have never done a Poker Run.....and won't be doing any in the future.

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Someone got killed in this poker run last year, so instead of being a lesson learned what do they do, dedicate this year's run to her :nono: some of my friends are going (non drinking ones) that's the only reason I might

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Edited by 2talltim
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A bunch of us used to go on them. When they stop to drink, we would just do something else. Like ride around a bit and get back before they leave. It can be worth it just to see 500 bikes travel together over the horizon. You don't really have to stop on some of the runs, the police and fire crews will block the intersections. Road guides are often police and fire as well. At least it was on the rides I've been in. There are different types of poker runs. I haven't been on one of these runs for a couple of years.

 

If it's all Harleys, you're in the wrong ride, unless you're on a Harley.

If it has some metrics, standards and sports, you might enjoy it.

 

There are also poker runs that do individual starts, or starts in smaller groups. You ride your own ride to each destination and draw a card. Sort of not so organized. No big group of bikes. From what I've seen, many of the fire dept poker runs will operate like that. All the stops will be at various fire departments. Fire departments also have pretty decent food as well. Usually food before the start.

 

Yes, with the drinking, some of the bikes will often go down. Even at slow speeds.

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