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democratic national convention


Adam

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got this off another board, laughed the whole time i read it

 

Schedule of the 2004 Democratic National Convention In Boston

 

6:00pm - Opening flag burning ceremony.

6:30pm - Anti-war rally #1.

6:40pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

7:00pm - Tribute theme to France.

7:10pm - Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense fund.

7:20pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

7:25pm - Tribute theme to Spain.

7:45pm - Anti-war rally #2. (Moderated by Michael Moore)

8:00pm - John Kerry presents one side of the issues.

8:25pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:30pm - Terrorist appeasement workshop

8:45pm - Al Gore- Secrets of the Internet seminar

9:00pm - Gay marriage ceremony.

9:15 pm - Bill Clinton workshop - Importance of Good Dry Cleaning

9:30pm - Intermission

10:00pm - Flag burning ceremony #2.

10:15pm - Re-enactment of Kerry's fake medal toss.

10:30pm - Cameo by Howard Dean "Yeeearrrrrrrg!"

10:40pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

10:50pm - Pledge of allegiance to the UN.

11:00pm - Double gay marriage ceremony.

11:15pm - Maximizing Welfare workshop.

11:20pm - John Kerry presents the other side of the issues.

11:30pm - 'Free Saddam' pep rally.

11:59pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

12:00am - Nomination of Democrat candidate.

12:30am - Ted Kennedy drives everyone home.

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REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION SCHEDULE

New York, NY

6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Fallwell

6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance

6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)

6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing

6:46 PM Seminar #1 Getting your kid a military deferment

7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong

7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries

7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury - it's what's for dinner.

8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next

8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh

8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children

8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)

8:50 PM Seminar #2 Corporations: The government of the future

9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"

9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong

9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: The real cause of forest fires

9:30 PM Break for secret meetings

10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas

10:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak made easy

10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho

10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare.

10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory kevlar chastity belt

10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans

10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong

10:50 PM Seminar #3 Education: a drain on our nation's economy.

11:10 PM Hillary Clinton Pinata

11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: Evolutionists: The dangerous cult

11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.

11:35 PM Blame Clinton

11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies

11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself

12: 00PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

 

sorry guys i thought this one was funny too graemlins/finger.gif

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bahaha, nice. Alot of it is pretty fuckin stupid, but, some highlights:

 

Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

Al Gore- Secrets of the Internet seminar

Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

Bill Clinton workshop - Importance of Good Dry Cleaning

Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

Intermission

Cameo by Howard Dean "Yeeearrrrrrrg!"

Ted Kennedy drives everyone home.

 

 

EPA Address #1: Mercury - it's what's for dinner

John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children

Presidential beer bong

EPA Address #2 Trees: The real cause of forest fires

Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak made easy

Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare (15 mins)

Presidential beer bong

Hillary Clinton Pinata

Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

[/QB]

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