Guest 00Smurf Posted August 21, 2004 Report Share Posted August 21, 2004 Alien vs. Predator: Annette Protagonist: Man, I sure like climbing ice. Nothing better than scaling a perfectly smooth surface with no harness. Oh, now what? Johnny Awesome: Hello. My employer needs your help. Climb aboard my flying machine and I will whisk you away to sunny Antarctica. Protagonist: Well here we are in Antarctica. I suppose I'm here to guide people into an ice cave which I refuse to do but will do it anyway. Archie Archeologist: And I'm probably here to translate something and make up Sh!T about an extinct culture like I always do at work. Dickface: And I'm not even given a reason for being here. I'll probably just wind up dead to evoke pity from the audience. Bishop: Greetings all. You work for The Company now. Our satellite found some weird heat thing under the ice here, and being the leading Artificial Intelligence and Robotics developer in the world, naturally we thought we could benefit from something deep below the Antarctic. Johnny? Johnny: I trust you three have met each other. Here are the other ten members of our crew who'll die in the next fifteen minutes. Bishop: I too am dying, but fortunately my legacy will live on in hideous androids. Protagonist: My objection to this whole ordeal is made no less severe by your condition and the presence of this huge perfectly round tunnel going at a straight 30-degree angle to the earth's surface that appeared this morning, but let's go. Hey, a pyramid! Archie: Hmm, judging from the strange symbols on the walls of the interior of this place that seem to be a perfect merging of the three totally diverse dead languages that I happen to be fluent in, and the position of these bodies, this was the sacrificial chamber, it was an honor to be sacrificed, 32% of the population thought the sacrifices were superfluous, red was the color the season this was built, and the carpenter had sideburns but no beard and nine toes altogether. There's no other explanation. Johnny: Huh. I thought I saw something downstairs. Why don't you three and Bishop come with me to check it out, and the rest of you stay here in the sacrificial chamber. Nerd guy: Sounds great. Archie: Hmm, they look like some sort of artifacts. Whatever you do, don't remove them. Johnny: I'm totally removing them. Nerd guy: Hey, why are the doors closing around the sacrificial chamber? Hey look, eggs! Let's make omlettes. Johnny: Oh man, why is everybody screaming upstairs? And who are these transparent guys with the Wolverine thing going on? O what has my hubris wrought upon us? My sh!t is now fu<ked. Protagonist: Quick! Let's jump through these perpetually moving half-ton stone walls to get away from these big guys and possibly into further danger! Predator 1: You'll never make it. I am the ultimate hunt-GLKTH! Predator 2: To expand on my late comrade's sentiment, our training is too finely-HURRK! Punk Alien: Ha ha! Yo, fucktwat! I just offed not one but both of your shitsmoking boyfriends, and now I'm going to do you too because I am invinci-BLrk! Predator Yojimbo: Oops. Dropped your face there. Bishop: You guys go ahead. I'm going to stay here and see if setting this guy on fire works. Oh, guess not. Archie: Hurry up! Bishop might be dead, but we can still make it out of here ali- oh penis, I've been kidnapped by the beetle-guys. I hope they just want to ask me some questions. Protagonist: I'm the only one left alive! Who could have expected that in an Alien or Predator movie? Oh crap basket, it's that big dude! Yojimbo: Gimme my cannon. Protagonist: Totally, here. You're not going to kill me? Of course, I understand the hunt now! We don't have to run, we can stay and fight together! With your strength, ingenuity, and technology coupled with my...um...indomitable spirit, nothing can stop us! We're whalers on the moon, we carry a harpoon! How should we take them? Yojimbo: I'm totally blowing this place up. Protagonist: Okay, fair enough. Yojimbo: 49 seconds should be more than enough time to clear 3 miles, right? Protagonist: We should take my rocket sled. Alien: No way. You tool, is that a bom- BOOM Protagonist: What a waste. I'm sure this crater will serve as a reminder to the Company to not fu<k with sh!t they don't understand. Unfrozen Tortured Alien Queen: BOOYAH, BITCHES! YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME! Yojimbo: Oh. Snap. Queen: Suck my middle finger, cuntrags! This tail is totally going through your torso! Yojimbo: Uh...OH! Aaagh, yeah...that's what it did, alright. Protagonist: Don't worry, I chained her to this falling water tank! Queen: What the piss are you-SHIET! I'm going down into freezing water! My one weakness! That and fire, bullets, and the vacuum of space, but really, who'da thunk? Mayor McPredator: We've come to retrieve our corpse. We saw you killed a queen. Congratulations, you've earned your six-foot golden wang. Wear it on the outside so assholes know who not to fu<k with. Protagonist: Not a problem. We should do this more often. Worker Predator: Well here we are heading back to whatever the hell planet we come from. Too bad about Jeff, he was an awesome DJ. Well let's leave his corpse to rot. Predator/Alien bursting out of Yojimbo's chest: Look at me! I'm an alien but I've got little Predator mandibles! What a twist, it's a The End Or Is It ending, LOL! hahahahah hope u all enjoy this. Cheers, Nic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avenger1647545502 Posted August 21, 2004 Report Share Posted August 21, 2004 HAHAHA, even better than the movie! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blazen Posted August 21, 2004 Report Share Posted August 21, 2004 I would like to see a movie with the Predators on the ship with the pred/alien running around the ship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miller Posted August 21, 2004 Report Share Posted August 21, 2004 i would just like to see humans/aliens/predators just die and go to fukin hell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Pomade Posted August 21, 2004 Report Share Posted August 21, 2004 00Smurf - LOL - good stuff. Had me chuckling out loud a couple of times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGRE Posted August 21, 2004 Report Share Posted August 21, 2004 Aliens > preditor that is all* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 00Smurf Posted August 21, 2004 Report Share Posted August 21, 2004 Originally posted by mesteno: Aliens > preditor that is all* it all depend on the situation. any o fthe three races can win if the circumsatances are right. in a straight up fair battle i think the pred would whoop ass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stolen 5.0 Posted August 21, 2004 Report Share Posted August 21, 2004 predator greater than all, except arnold Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bottlefed70 Posted August 21, 2004 Report Share Posted August 21, 2004 The movie was'nt to bad but true. Wasnt the best. Still cant beat the originals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Science Abuse Posted August 22, 2004 Report Share Posted August 22, 2004 Originally posted by (The_ Pimp_ Daddy_ Of_ Fury): I would like to see a movie with the Predators on the ship with the pred/alien running around the ship.+1 those pink fleshy weak human things are what screws up thier movies. Fowler, theres no "R" in "Ahnold" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suffocateXfaster1647545505 Posted August 23, 2004 Report Share Posted August 23, 2004 Predator > THE WORLD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Pimpin' the Jag Posted August 23, 2004 Report Share Posted August 23, 2004 yeah, that one predator fucked up all those aliens and there's only one alien on a ship full of predators...wouldn't think it would work but..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mowgli1647545497 Posted August 23, 2004 Report Share Posted August 23, 2004 But its a PREDALIEN! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin R. Posted August 24, 2004 Report Share Posted August 24, 2004 I don't even need to see the movie now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritas Posted August 24, 2004 Report Share Posted August 24, 2004 BEST. POST. EVER. hahahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
burgels Posted August 24, 2004 Report Share Posted August 24, 2004 Sigorni Weaver killed an alien, and Ahnold killed a predator, and I'll take Ahnold in that fight any day, so by my odd roundabout logic: Predator > Alien. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Pikey Posted August 24, 2004 Report Share Posted August 24, 2004 Damn...can a brotha get some props? Danny Glover killed one too, and then punked a whole gang of them back into space BTW...to the thread starter graemlins/thumb.gif That was worthy of Maddox Scott Peace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 00Smurf Posted August 24, 2004 Report Share Posted August 24, 2004 Originally posted by The Pikey: Damn...can a brotha get some props? Danny Glover killed one too, and then punked a whole gang of them back into space YEah danny glover is awesome. So since both he and arnold killed a predator, who do u think would win in fight between the 2? Originally posted by The Pikey: BTW...to the thread starter graemlins/thumb.gif That was worthy of Maddox Scott Peace Call me a noob but whats a maddox? Never heard that expression before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Pikey Posted August 24, 2004 Report Share Posted August 24, 2004 http://maddox.xmission.com/ Read some of his movie reviews Scott Peace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Science Abuse Posted August 24, 2004 Report Share Posted August 24, 2004 Originally posted by The Pikey: Damn...can a brotha get some props? Danny Glover killed one too, and then punked a whole gang of them back into space BTW...to the thread starter graemlins/thumb.gif That was worthy of Maddox Scott PeaceBut Danny did it in a shirt. Ahnold did it without a shirt, and Sigorney weaver did it in her panites, much more box office apeal (in the early 80s anyways, not now, eegheew). And technicaly, Ahnold didn't kill the predator, the log did...and the bomb. Glover straigh cut dat n!99ah up, so it can be argued that Danny Glover > big log trap > Ahnold > Predator. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaSSon Posted August 25, 2004 Report Share Posted August 25, 2004 The preds in AvP were HUGE tho. They towered over the humans. I don't remember them being that large in the older movies. 'roid-pumping preds > aliens > old-skool all-natural preds. +1 for steroids Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
burgels Posted August 25, 2004 Report Share Posted August 25, 2004 Originally posted by The_Bandwagon_Jumper_of_Fury: The preds in AvP were HUGE tho. They towered over the humans. I don't remember them being that large in the older movies. The guy that played the original predator was like 7 foot 2 or something, so the original guy was tall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 00Smurf Posted August 25, 2004 Report Share Posted August 25, 2004 Originally posted by The_Fist_of_Fury: But Danny did it in a shirt. Ahnold did it without a shirt, and Sigorney weaver did it in her panites, much more box office apeal (in the early 80s anyways, not now, eegheew). And technicaly, Ahnold didn't kill the predator, the log did...and the bomb. Glover straigh cut dat n!99ah up, so it can be argued that Danny Glover > big log trap > Ahnold > Predator. Well props go to sigorny for the panty scene. If we are going by straight sexuall appealness sigorney wins hands down. Arnold with no shirt doesnt do anythign for me.. lol But i have to agree with Fury, glover can ultimatly be regarded as the winner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mowgli1647545497 Posted August 25, 2004 Report Share Posted August 25, 2004 The original Predator was tall indeed. You older farts probably remember him he was the tall black SKINNY (and I do mean skinny) nerd on some TV show about nerds doing wacky science stuff in a highschool in the '80s. I heard he died from health complications of some such or other back in the 1990s, but I digress... The point being those predators were tall, yes, but like Bandwagon pointed out, THESE predators were not only tall but also built like frigging brick walls. The boyscout-troop-camping-trip-leader predator in particular was one steroidal mutherfukker. But, er, the aliens also seemed buffed up. Bred for hunting perhaps? As for Sigourney vs Arnold in the seckzy, I don't know, Ahnuld has bigger boobage... [ 25. August 2004, 06:46 PM: Message edited by: Mowgli ] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 00Smurf Posted August 25, 2004 Report Share Posted August 25, 2004 lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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