GonneVille Posted December 3, 2004 Report Share Posted December 3, 2004 Found this on Bonneville Club May be repost >15 things a man can do at Wal-Mart -- while his wife is taking her sweet time: > >1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. > >2. Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5 minute intervals. > >3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies rest-room. > >4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: Code 3 in House wares... and see what happens. > >5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay-away. > >6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. > >7. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department -- and tell other shoppers you are sleeping over and invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding Department. > >8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" > >9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose. > >10. While handling guns in the Hunting Department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are located > >11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible. > >12. In the Auto Department, practice your "Madonna look" using different sized funnels. > >13. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse through, say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!" > >14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and assume the fetal position and scream "NO!...It's those voices again!" And last but not least: > >15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while... then yell loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jpurdy2003 Posted December 3, 2004 Report Share Posted December 3, 2004 Repost, but a good one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pg Posted December 3, 2004 Report Share Posted December 3, 2004 Haha. Thats great, I got a good kick out of that one. Hahaha. graemlins/thatfunny.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nurkvinny Posted December 3, 2004 Report Share Posted December 3, 2004 Nice. smile.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
street pilot Posted December 4, 2004 Report Share Posted December 4, 2004 Here are a few more ideas: 1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. 4. Don't bother doing your own shopping. Simply find someone with a full trolley containing roughly the items you need, and when they are not looking take it and go pay for it at the checkout. (this is not stealing, they did not own the items yet, they were simply 'moving them around') 5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners. 6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap. 7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. 8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit, then arrange them into erotic poses. (be creative with the gift-wrap tubes used in point 6). 9. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly, especially in thin aisles. 11. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off and turn the volume up to full blast. 12. Re-enact a fatal incident involving the automatic doors. 13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen you in so long." etc. See if they play along. Insist on calling them 'Bob', and if they protest, get angry about it (violent if necissary). 14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!" 15. When you leave the store, try your car keys in the door of every car in the car park until you get to your own. Then drive off as if this is perfectly normal. (Note- if you don't actually own a car and walked to the store, attempt the above by substituting car keys with your house keys). 16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are taking it for a test drive. 17. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet behind them. Do this until they leave the store. 18. Ask if you can test some super-glue before buying it, then walk around the store gluing random items to other items/customers/staff. For added fun: See how many cashiers you can glue to each-other before any of them notice. 19. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say "BEEP" in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items. If the cashier protests, kill them. 20. Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and when they say you didn't buy it there say "The customer is always right dammit!!" Make a scene. 23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other aisles. 24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. 25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave." 26. Climb things. 27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles. 28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down. Once you have mastered this, progress to "boobs". 30. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling "Red Rover." 31. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples). Do a vague hand-mime of what a 'Shnerple' looks like to assist them. 32. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men. 33. Take bets on the battle from above. 34. Test the brushes and combs in Cosmetics on all the live animals in Pet-Care. 36. Hold indoor shopping cart races. 38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags. 39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags against their will. 40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies." 41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store. 42. Two words: Marco Polo. 43. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet section, etc. 44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's using an alternative alphabet of your choosing. 46. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at something, quickly place random combinations of items in their cart, such as 'A Large Cucumber and a Tub of Vasceline'. 47. Relax in the patio furniture drinking beer until you get kicked out. 49. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time. 50. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to the food court, buy a drink, and explain that you don't get out much and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doug1647545489 Posted December 4, 2004 Report Share Posted December 4, 2004 I like 13 from the first list. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suffocateXfaster1647545505 Posted December 4, 2004 Report Share Posted December 4, 2004 "1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations." Haha I hate when people do that (to an extent). I work at a grocery store <- pimp I know. They ALWAYS send me to pick up that shit, but it kills time like a mofo. Hours go by in seconds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avenger1647545502 Posted December 4, 2004 Report Share Posted December 4, 2004 I've done number 19 a bunch of times when I was working at Meijer. Ever seen a cashier scream, run outside, climb into a tree, and throw leaves at the police? That was a REALLY good day.... I just LOVE high-strung people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supldys Posted December 4, 2004 Report Share Posted December 4, 2004 haha if they protest, kill them...hahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.