Man commits suicide at footsteps of courthouse over divorce

[chrismindless]

Distraught Father’s Courthouse Suicide Highlights America’s Male Suicide Epidemic

By Glenn Sacks

 

A distraught father struggling with overdue child support obligations and adverse family court decisions committed suicide on the steps of the downtown San Diego courthouse Monday. Angrily waving court documents, 43 year-old Derrick Miller walked up to court personnel at the entrance, said “You did this to me,” and shot himself in the head.

 

Miller is one of 300,000 Americans who have taken their own lives over the past decade–as many Americans as were killed in combat in World War II. America is in the throes of a largely unrecognized suicide epidemic, as suicide has become the eighth leading cause of death in the United States today, and the third leading cause of death among adolescents. All Americans recognize that our country is rife with violent crime, but few know that 50% more Americans kill themselves than are murdered.

 

Who is committing suicide?

 

For the most part, men. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, males commit suicide four times as often as females do, and have higher suicide rates in every age group. There are many risk factors for suicide, including substance abuse and mental illness, but the two situations in which men are most likely to kill themselves are after the loss of a job, and after a divorce.

 

Because our society strongly defines manhood as the ability to work and provide for one’s loved ones, unemployed men often see themselves as failures and as burdens to their families. Thus it is not surprising that while there is no difference in the suicide rate of employed and unemployed women, the suicide rate of unemployed men is twice that of employed men.

 

It is for this reason that economic crises generally lead to male suicide epidemics. During the Midwest farm crisis of the 1980s, for example, the suicide rate of male farmers tripled. A sharp increase in male suicide occurred after the destruction of Flint, Michigan’s 70 year-old auto industry, as documented in the disturbing 1989 film “Roger and Me.” Some suicide experts fear a rise in suicide related to our current economic downturn.

 

The other most common suicide victims are divorced and/or estranged fathers like Derrick Miller. In fact, a divorced father is ten times more likely to commit suicide than a divorced mother, and three times more likely to commit suicide than a married father. According to Los Angeles divorce consultant Jayne Major:

 

“Divorced men are often devastated by the loss of their children. It’s a little known fact that in the United States men initiate only a small number of the divorces involving children. Most of the men I deal with never saw their divorces coming, and they are often treated very unfairly by the family courts.”

 

According to Sociology Professor Augustine Kposowa of the University of California at Riverside, “The link between men and their children is often severed because the woman is usually awarded custody. A man may not get to see his children, even with visitation rights. As far as the man is concerned, he has lost his marriage and lost his children and that can lead to depression and suicide.”

 

There have been a rash of father suicides directly related to divorce and mistreatment by the family courts over the past few years. For example, New York City Police Officer Martin Romanchick, a Medal of Honor recipient, hung himself after being denied access to his children and being arrested 15 times on charges brought by his ex-wife, charges the courts deemed frivolous. Massachusetts father Steven Cook, prevented from seeing his daughter by a protection order based upon unfounded allegations, committed suicide after he was jailed for calling his four-year-old daughter on the wrong day of the week. Darrin White, a Canadian father who was stripped of the right to see his children and was about to be jailed after failing to pay a child support award tantamount to twice his take home pay, hung himself. His 14 year-old daughter Ashlee later wrote to her nation’s Prime Minister, saying, “this country’s justice system has robbed me of one of the most precious gifts in my life, my father.”

 

We’ll never know exactly why Derrick Miller took his life and if his suicide could have been prevented. What we do know is that male suicide is one of America’s most serious public health issues, and it is time to address it.

 

This column first appeared in the San Diego Union-Tribune (1/11/02).

 

Glenn Sacks’ columns on men’s and fathers’ issues have appeared in dozens of America’s largest newspapers. Glenn can be reached via his website at http://www.GlennSacks.com or via email at Glenn@GlennSacks.com.

 

 

 

http://ancpr.com/blog/archives/253

[Dr. Pomade]

I can appreciate this article on so many different levels.

[Guest powers]

Very interesting article. Good reading.

[99ta]

yeah it is really sad what women can do to men in a divorce. The ohio child support laws suck. I really hope someone takes a good look at them and gets them changed, everyone should be treated equal in a divorce. Great article!

[Mike_Shepard]

best article Ive read in a long time. I as a father I know all to well how it feels to be screwed over by his mother then she gets greedy and takes me to CSEA simply because her B/F at the time was getting rapped by child support and thought seen it as a way to take my money, Well she didnt get as much as she hoped for (she addmitted this to me).

[thorne]

I am gonna agree I know my divoroce was very rough on me and if not for friends and family i would have prolly been a statistic also. I lost alot in my divoroce . I did gain 1 thing self respect for myself.

[Mark1647545493]

everyone should be treated equal in a divorce. Great article!

 

AMEN!!

[Science Abuse]

How many gangsta assed crimial killa robbin'n'stealin rapin' motha fuckas were brought up by just theys mama? That's a statistic I want to see. The crime rate differential between men raised soley by their moms, and men raised soley by their dads. I'm betting theres a big difference. Theory; Boys with no male role models grow up feeling the need to "prove something". I.E. they're more likelye to feel then need to prove they're a hardass, and this leads to doing stupid shit, and often criminal shit.

Yet for some reason, women are granted sole custody in a vast majority of cases.

[Alex1647545498]

Erica knows I would kill her if she pulls some crap like that.

 

2x the take home pay? WTF!!!

[Balian]

Erica knows I would kill her if she pulls some crap like that.

 

2x the take home pay? WTF!!!

 

+1

 

I think it is way to unfair that the courts rule that you pay more than you can make. And their should be some rule that allows this number to change if your income goes up or down. I know a guy who worked at WOW with me was paying about 90% of his paycheck because he came from a job where he was making twice as much there..Screw that..The government is out to screw us..

[owndjoo]

women who do this to men should be shot, literally. My parent's divorce has really had some ill effects on me and have caused me to have little to absolutely no trust in women. My mom took a lot from my dad and he is paying for both my sister's college as well as mine. Yet anytime i go to the doctor, dentist, etc. she sends him the bill and tells me to go ask him for money if i need something. Granted, i lived with her for 2 years after the divorce and she fed me, clothed me, etc. But, my father has spent thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, on me with the racing him and I enjoy doing together. I'd say that if i compared how much each has spent on me she wouldnt even have 1/4 of the amount. Yet she feels that she is entitled to something because i came from her womb. By no means am i saying i have it hard, but the way my mother treats my father is rediculous. It goes way beyond what i've said here, believe me.

 

People always talk about deadbeat dad's, but there wouldnt be so many if the system would actually be fair. I've never heard of a deadbeat mom, but i guess when almost all of them get custody, it's kinda hard.

[Guest Evl Mdgt]

women who do this to men should be shot, literally.

 

+1

 

I agree with you 110%.

 

I, myself, could never do this my daughter's dad. I would never think about taking her away from him or keeping them apart. If we ever split... He would be able to come see her or take her for the weekend or w/e the case maybe whenever he wanted. I don't care about child support. I wouldn't even take him to court for custody. I know what its like to be kept from your father. My whole life my dad and I were always close. When my parents split (i was only like 4 or 5), my dad was granted FULL custody of me. My mom was ordered to pay ONLY $35 a week. That's it... Well... While living with her (lived with her for 6 years), my dad paid HER child support even though he didn't have to. He paid her $150 a week. She would keep me from my dad, telling him I couldn't see him that weekend because I was grounded. It was like I was grounded the entire 6 yrs I lived with her. The 1st year i lived with her, I didn't hear from my dad the entire year. She kept him from me and made me believe he abandoned me. When I moved back in with my dad... she still never paid child support. When I went to go apply for student loans, the government saw that he was suppose to have this extra money from child support so they werent goign to let me have any financial aid at all. He had no choice but to file for back child support (government made him). She owed over $15,000 in back child support. Well... Since the divorce was filed in Indiana, she had to pay interest (they charge interest on back child support)... I believe she owes around $30,000.

 

What a lot of people don't realize is that there's also Dead-Beat MOm's. Any person, male or female, who doesn't care enough to make sure their child is taken care of (not paying child support) should rot in hell after being shot down. And any person who keeps their child away from a loving parent should also rot in hell after being shot down AND stoned by an angry mob.

[chrismindless]

Fact:

 

as of 2005, 70% of marriages end in divorce. 30% end in death(s).

 

Fact:

 

70% of all divorces are filed by Women.

 

Fact:

 

Varying state to state but 80-90% of all custody cases end in the the women getting full custody or less than full but never less than 50/50 ... that means they get the kids whenever they want.

 

Fact:

 

The Bradley Act states::

 

th 1986 federal Bradley Amendment, which mandates that a child-support debt cannot be retroactively reduced or forgiven even if the debtor is unemployed, hospitalized, in prison, sent to war, dead, proved to not be the father, never allowed to see his children, or loses his job or suffers a pay cut.

[Casper]

I really can't say much more right now than that I agree with this article whole-heartedly.

[Kurt B.]

Funny this pops up now, I've got a good friend who is has just gone through a divorce, he couldn't find a job making what he was making(got fired during divorce procedings) and cannot pay the child support order as handed down by the courts, this guy was a wonderfull father, but for some reason his BITCH of a wife got it in her head he was messing around on her w/someone at work(totally unfounded, I work w/him) I could'nt figure out how you could work 3rd shift, be at home w/the kids all day, see your wife everyday at lunchtime, and be with her all weekend, and still find time to cheat, but somehow in her mind he was.

Anyway, he joined the Army last week-gonna be jumpin o\o airplanes.

[Nitrousbird]

th 1986 federal Bradley Amendment, which mandates that a child-support debt cannot be retroactively reduced or forgiven even if the debtor is proved to not be the father.

This is the one that gets me.....and IMO is why ALL divorces involving children should mandate a DNA test be done. Just imagine paying 10's of thousands of dollars on a kid that's not even yours.

[Balian]

This is the one that gets me.....and IMO is why ALL divorces involving children should mandate a DNA test be done. Just imagine paying 10's of thousands of dollars on a kid that's not even yours.

 

Yea, that is what really sucks. kinda like that song, Golddigger.

[chrismindless]

^^ Whats worse, is there are state laws popping up that basically state that even though DNA is proof you are not the father, if you have been paying or taking care of a child you are basically claiming it as yours and despite DNA testing you are responsible...

 

Personally, i think its the mother's fault for lying to you about the conception and the loss of your support and money is her problem and you are not responsible and since she knows whom she has slept with, it is up to her to find the real father and put the bill on him ...

 

Of course, this is not the case ... and yes as horrible as this sounds, it is the truth.

 

This is a big problem and I think within the next 5 years we are going to see it get worst ...

 

Ill keep posting articles so you can keep on top of if or join some newsletters, I recommend the one I posted in my first post. All are very good articles.

[Guest powers]

I have been married for over 8yrs and have no children. People cannot understand why that is, as though I am crazy. In my mind it is better to have never gone thourgh all of this shit to begin with. I understand that children can be the most rewarding thing in your life but to be honest I have ZERO desire to raise children in our society.

[NOS50]

I have 3 children and agree it was a difficult decision to bring them into this society,but I believe if all the "good people" stop having children because of the "bad people" what will our society become?

[chrismindless]

^^^ excellent point!

[ridenred27]

i cant say how much i can relate with all of the above posts. i went through the same thing crystal went through, my oldest sons mother quit letting me see him when i started getting seroius with my current lady. i had to start the whole custody and child support crap to be able to see my son. the system for child support is so currupt(sp) i have had a hard way to go with jobs lately and was unable to keep up with the payments, causing additional job losses. they suspended my licence while driveing truck, i got replaced because it took 2 weeks to get it straightened out. and as it was said earler in this post if it was not for close friends i would likely have become a stastistic. but heere in the last 6 months my ex's husband actuall got through to her and she now realizes thast i was doing all that i can and how what she was doing was not only effecting me but our son most. i now see him on a very regular basis and i am able to make up the 2.5 years that was taken from us.

i have to say i dont belive in beating women but when they play a mans emotions like that a good thumpin would be deserved.

[zuht]

This is the one that gets me.....and IMO is why ALL divorces involving children should mandate a DNA test be done. Just imagine paying 10's of thousands of dollars on a kid that's not even yours.

 

From what I understand, even if it is established early on that a husband is not the father, his name still has to go on the birth certificate, and he still gets stuck with all the support responsibilities. So with the current laws, you probably wouldn't want to know

[Guest Evl Mdgt]

From what I understand, even if it is established early on that a husband is not the father, his name still has to go on the birth certificate, and he still gets stuck with all the support responsibilities. So with the current laws, you probably wouldn't want to know

 

This is true. A friend of mine was getting a divorce, legally seperated and everything. She was with this new guy and was having his kid... they wouldn't let him put his name on the birth certificate even though he is the father because she's still legally married and the divorce wasn't official.