tristanlee85 Posted November 13, 2008 Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 At work one of the guys in shipping isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, though he is a tool. I think he may have ended at 3rd grade. Anyway, we have him quite convinced that whenever our network is slow, he can call up here and request "more throttle" or tells us to "up the gigahertz." We respond with, "I can take some throttle away from so-and-so, but it can only be for a few minutes..." We hang up and wait about 10 seconds and then call him back and say "Alright, we gave you X GHz. Is it faster?" and by no surprise he says that it's running a ton faster. After a while he sort of got the idea that we were toying with him, but he's still convinced we have control over his "throttle" and "upping the GHz in the T1 line" (even though technically we can throttle bandwidth, but don't). After our network admin left last week, I now do the network and ColdFusion/Java stuff so I decided to write this guy a little app so he doesn't have to call me all the time. http://www.plastikhosting.net/uploads/tristanlee85/UpTheGHZ.jar (requires JRE 1.4+) I have it threaded to remove 3% every 20 seconds as well as randomly chooses a number to set the progress value to which is within a range of how much throttle he actually gives himself. This way it looks like it's active and it decreases over time because I told him I can't give him 100% all the time because it wouldn't be fair to other employees. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rally Pat Posted November 13, 2008 Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Holy shit Tristan, this is hilarious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tristanlee85 Posted November 13, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 I haven't heard a call from him in about a week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rally Pat Posted November 13, 2008 Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 Emailed out to everyone in the Telecom Department at Liebert. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benner Posted November 13, 2008 Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 LOL that's pretty funny. How long you guessing it'll last before he catches on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceGhost Posted November 13, 2008 Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tristanlee85 Posted November 13, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 He won't catch on I don't think. Him asking us to give him more throttle has been going on since last December. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImUrOBGYN Posted November 13, 2008 Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 lol Hilarious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashley Posted November 13, 2008 Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 HAHA, that's freaking priceless!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin R. Posted November 13, 2008 Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 Downloaded it and turned it on full throttle. My computer is blazin'! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceGhost Posted November 13, 2008 Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 When the site gets slow here this should be the thread subject to Chris. "Up The GHz!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIGGU Posted November 13, 2008 Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 Baha thats amazing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farkas Posted November 13, 2008 Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 Recipient Username(s): tristanlee85 You may send up to 5 messages at a time. Separate multiple user names with ';' Title: Moar Pohwer! Message: Hey, mind turning up my GHz a little bit? Please and thank you. *clicks send private message* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akula Posted November 13, 2008 Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 Um, can I come sell you a PacketShaper? Seriously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tristanlee85 Posted November 13, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 Um, can I come sell you a PacketShaper? Seriously. Mr. Technical here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neonkiller Posted November 13, 2008 Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 Fucking epicfull!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stimmel1647545512 Posted November 13, 2008 Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH that is priceless hahaha sounds like you have a rather amuzing job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
87GT Posted November 13, 2008 Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 This was a great read. And based on your other upload work on http://www.plastikhosting.net/ you really look like you know what you are doing. Heh I should stop lurking because I found a picture that is trista.jpg. I don't know if it is you or not but you might wanna move it? ^_^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thorne Posted November 13, 2008 Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 Linux = great PS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verse Posted November 13, 2008 Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 This was a great read. And based on your other upload work on http://www.plastikhosting.net/ you really look like you know what you are doing. Heh I should stop lurking because I found a picture that is trista.jpg. I don't know if it is you or not but you might wanna move it? ^_^ Whoever this Trista girl is, she's pretty good looking. ^_^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
87GT Posted November 13, 2008 Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 Whoever this Trista girl is, she's pretty good looking. ^_^ I thought so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verse Posted November 13, 2008 Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 I thought so. Tell Brittney I said Happy Birthday for me. My phone is screwed up again. Thank you two for the card as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tristanlee85 Posted November 13, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 She is my ex. I am Tristan. She is Trista. And I don't do PHP anymore. I've grown to hate it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
87GT Posted November 13, 2008 Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 Tell Brittney I said Happy Birthday for me. My phone is screwed up again. Thank you two for the card as well. I will let her know. You need to come out to drink/eat with us sometime when you have free time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImUrOBGYN Posted November 14, 2008 Report Share Posted November 14, 2008 She is my ex. I am Tristan. She is Trista. And I don't do PHP anymore. I've grown to hate it. Were you guys brother and sister? That's worse than my experience. My name is Christian. My exwife is Kirsten (yes, it's spelled right) and I dated a Kristen. But Tristan and Trista? Those aren't exaclty common names. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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