dover Posted November 1, 2010 Report Share Posted November 1, 2010 THE GENERAL Leaps tall buildings with a single bound. Is more powerful than a locomotive. Is faster than a speeding bullet. Walks on water. Gives policy to GOD. THE COLONEL Leaps short buildings with a single bound. Is more powerful than a switch engine. Is just as fast as a speeding bullet. Walks on water if the sea is calm. Talks with GOD. THE LIEUTENANT COLONEL Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds. Is almost as powerful as a switch engine. Is faster than a speeding BB. Walks on water in indoor swimming pool. Talks with GOD if special request is approved. THE MAJOR Barely clears Quonset hut. Looses tug of war with switch engine. Can fire a speeding bullet. Swims well. Is occasionally addressed by GOD. THE CAPTAIN Makes high marks when trying to leap building. Gets run over by locomotive. Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury. Dog paddles. Talks to animals. THE FIRST LIEUTENANT Runs into buildings. Recognizes locomotives two out of three times. Is not issued ammunition. Can stay afloat if properly instructed in the use of Mae West. Talks to walls. THE SECOND LIEUTENANT Falls over doorstep when trying to enter building. Bays “Look at the Choo-Choo.” Wets himself with a water pistol. Plays in mud puddles. Mumbles to himself. THE NON-COMMISSIONED OFFICER Lifts buildings and walks under them. Kicks locomotives off the tracks. Catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them. Freezes water with a single glance. HE IS GOD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mojoe Posted November 1, 2010 Report Share Posted November 1, 2010 I was like, This is getting boring. Then the NCO made up for it. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AWW$HEEET Posted November 1, 2010 Report Share Posted November 1, 2010 meh. ill trade my 4 stripes in here for a butter bar here soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forrest Gump 9 Posted November 1, 2010 Report Share Posted November 1, 2010 Do you know what's 11B stands for? Long long time ago, most grunt soldier can catch and eat ten bullets. But scientists found out that's on the eleventh bullets most of them would die. So the modern infantry have the 11B designate. It's was fine and dandy until the ak47 with 30 rounds magazine come out. That's the story I heard and I'm sticking to it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrangeDot3083 Posted November 1, 2010 Report Share Posted November 1, 2010 Made me laugh and is pretty spot on. I'll keep my five stripes. Hell here's hopen I get my sixth in Jan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moostang Posted November 1, 2010 Report Share Posted November 1, 2010 awesome dover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Lee Posted November 2, 2010 Report Share Posted November 2, 2010 They left out Chief Warrant Officers. Colonels and SgtsMaj know better than to fuck with a Gunner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotty2Hotty Posted November 2, 2010 Report Share Posted November 2, 2010 I'll have to share that with the brass today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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