CbrGirl Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Dear Wife:I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. Your EX-HusbandP.S don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!---------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Ex-Husband:Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out.So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job &bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica , but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.Your Ex-Wife, Rich as Hell & Free! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thegame Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 o snap! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knicks360 Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 The stroy of my life... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EagleCock Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 lolz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disclaimer Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Sour grapes says:That $10M is only like $7M after taxes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
g35tonv Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmoosego Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 who does this remind me of?? HMMM???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DollFace Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Wow. That is awesome Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbrjess0815 Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Nice!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BikerBoy Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 did he shoot himself ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NinjaNick Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 That's hilarious. One thing ruins it though is that nobody's boss will call home to tell someone their spouse quit today. In highschool yes, but workforce, no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V4junkie Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 It's all the product of some dissatisfied person's imagination anyway Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yotaman88210 Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Sour grapes says:That $10M is only like $7M after taxes.Who gives a flying fuck thats 7mil man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cdubyah Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 a woman perhaps? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V4junkie Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 I'm going to say yes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DollFace Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 ummm....no. I will take 7 mil after taxes....shooooot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V4junkie Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Don't get all defensive just because you wrote it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DollFace Posted April 4, 2009 Report Share Posted April 4, 2009 WTF are you talking about? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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