Need help convincing my wife...

[Rustlestiltskin]

I have to agree with Rustle on this. I love my wife dearly, and have NEVER regretted marrying her. Marriage CAN be a great thing, if everyone understands what their role within that unit is.

 

I also don't ask permission to do anything and I never will. I ask her opinion, take her thoughts into account, then make my decision.

 

Bingo. /thread

[kirks5oh]

I have to agree with Rustle on this. I love my wife dearly, and have NEVER regretted marrying her. Marriage CAN be a great thing, if everyone understands what their role within that unit is.

 

I also don't ask permission to do anything and I never will. I ask her opinion, take her thoughts into account, then make my decision.

 

People change, conditions change, and kids change everything in a way you couldn't predict. I look at the roles we each had when we first got married---each of us worked, made reasonably similar wages, didn't spend a lot of money, and didn't have children. I look at things 10 years later and it's insane how much the roles have changed.

 

And different states view marriage differently. I've gotten a crash course on marital law in Wisconsin. Parts are fair, and other parts are not. What you're describing in the second half of your statement is not how most states view marriage. Any and all money spent by either half during the marriage is common money. That might sound crazy when there's a sole bread winner, or an extreme-high wage earner, but it is unfortunately, the reality many times.

[Mallard]

Yup, Michigan has similar laws. Anything purchased during marriage is community property, and the same can go for money earned AFAIK. Property you bring into the marriage can be retained as sole ownership (you gotta prove it). If you had funds set aside before marriage and never touched them during marriage you could have a case that all that money is yours. However, if you used that money for a down payment on a house it's suddenly community property (I.e. you can't claim you have a high ownership stake than your partner). At least that's how I understand it.

 

I have coworker's who say they keep all their finances separate from their wife's in order to keep their assets divided in case they were to get divorced. This is total BS though, because they can still come after that money if it was earned during the marriage.

 

At least that's how I understand it, but I've never gone through it.

[TTQ B4U]

If you had funds set aside before marriage and never touched them during marriage you could have a case that all that money is yours.

 

just don't co-mingle it as doing so makes things more complicated. easiest thing is to put it in an investment with your name only.

However, if you used that money for a down payment on a house it's suddenly community property (I.e. you can't claim you have a high ownership stake than your partner). At least that's how I understand it.

Yes/no. See my first point. You can eventually trace funds and seperate them, have interest accounted for an eventually separate it once again, but you'll likely spend more money doing so than what you'll get out of it. Depends on the amount.

 

I have coworker's who say they keep all their finances separate from their wife's in order to keep their assets divided in case they were to get divorced. This is total BS though, because they can still come after that money if it was earned during the marriage.

Correct. Your coworker is mistaken. Any and all money earned while married is joint, including retirement accounts, etc. Bottom line is when you're married, you're in a contract where everything occuring after is joint, debt and earnings. Doesn't matter if the wife works or stays home. She's entitled to half.

[TTQ B4U]

It is no wonder there are so many unhappy marriages...Clay gets it...

 

^^ He's a salesman at heart that's why.

 

I ask because I want to, not because I have to

 

^^ this.

[RC K9]

People change, conditions change, and kids change everything in a way you couldn't predict. I look at the roles we each had when we first got married---each of us worked, made reasonably similar wages, didn't spend a lot of money, and didn't have children. I look at things 10 years later and it's insane how much the roles have changed.

 

And different states view marriage differently. I've gotten a crash course on marital law in Wisconsin. Parts are fair, and other parts are not. What you're describing in the second half of your statement is not how most states view marriage. Any and all money spent by either half during the marriage is common money. That might sound crazy when there's a sole bread winner, or an extreme-high wage earner, but it is unfortunately, the reality many times.

 

 

Just because roles and responsibilities can change, (we have a toddler and one on the way due in Jan so I can understand that), that doesn't change what I said. I'm not talking about who cooks dinner, who cuts the grass, who takes out the garbage, etc.

 

As for what the states thinks, we couldn't care less how the state views property. Property will never have to be allocated, so it's irrelevant.

 

Unlike most people in our society these days, we took our oaths to each other, before God, seriously. As such, no division of property will be necessary.

[kirks5oh]

Just because roles and responsibilities can change, (we have a toddler and one on the way due in Jan so I can understand that), that doesn't change what I said. I'm not talking about who cooks dinner, who cuts the grass, who takes out the garbage, etc.

 

As for what the states thinks, we couldn't care less how the state views property. Property will never have to be allocated, so it's irrelevant.

 

Unlike most people in our society these days, we took our oaths to each other, before God, seriously. As such, no division of property will be necessary.

 

I said the exact same thing for years when threads like this came up. Good luck. Kids are awesome, but they put a level of stress on the marriage that some people are not able to handle. And people can change. At the end of the day I've been successful at almost everything I've done in my life--except marriage. No matter how hard you try it takes two people giving quite a bit of effort to make it work, and my lesser half simply gave up. She was so quick to give up 50% placement of the kids, yet is battling for every penny she can get.

[TTQ B4U]

As for what the states thinks, we couldn't care less how the state views property. Property will never have to be allocated, so it's irrelevant.

 

should you decide to end the marriage, the above statement is most 99.9% certain to go in the trash. You'll either go through a disolution and agree to how the division of assets and debts will be or you'll enter a contested divorce and you'll fight over it, likely ending in a settlement or worse case a judge making the call for you both along the way. Believe me, it's not worth fighting about anything. Only the lawyers win there.

 

Unlike most people in our society these days, we took our oaths to each other, before God, seriously. As such, no division of property will be necessary.

 

Good for you guys and here's to hoping you never have to test the statements made.