cstmg8 Posted February 25, 2015 Report Share Posted February 25, 2015 Someone very close to me has gradually become a serious alcoholic. It has gone through all the steps of normal drinking, to heavy drinking, to functional alcoholism, to the point that it is now fully hindering family relationships and his ability to earn a living. He's tried to quit on his own many times over the last ten years, but it just doesn't work. AA didn't seem to help. Does anyone have any suggestions or experiences with facilities/programs that are effective but cheap? They have no money right now. Salvation Army? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocky31186 Posted February 25, 2015 Report Share Posted February 25, 2015 What I learned with my father is some people just cannot change.. I have dealt with this situation for 15 years and he finally lost the battle last January. No matter what we did he was in the hospital left and right. I do have a motivational speaker that spoke at my dad's funeral that was a recovering alcoholic that could possibly talk to said person if you would like their contact info. It's a very sad situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedRocket1647545505 Posted February 25, 2015 Report Share Posted February 25, 2015 PM Not Brian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Brian Posted February 25, 2015 Report Share Posted February 25, 2015 I'm not a quitter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted February 25, 2015 Report Share Posted February 25, 2015 What I learned with my father is some people just cannot change.. I have dealt with this situation for 15 years and he finally lost the battle last January. No matter what we did he was in the hospital left and right. I do have a motivational speaker that spoke at my dad's funeral that was a recovering alcoholic that could possibly talk to said person if you would like their contact info. It's a very sad situation. This is true. A person has to want to change. Up until August 2012 I was a heavy drinker. Looking back it was a problem, at the time I was abusing booze. I haven't had a drop since August 14th 2012 when I woke up in ICU at Grant hospital after crashing my car is a blackout running from the police for no fucking reason. When I woke up and spent 14 days in hospital and 14 in jail I decided I never drink again. That was my rock bottom. Your family member needs to hit rock bottom. He needs to want the change. If anyone of you is enabling they will continue. Cut them off. Have everyone cut them off. Quit trying to help and it will push them further. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gergwheel1647545492 Posted February 25, 2015 Report Share Posted February 25, 2015 PM Mitch Fixed! Seriously though, PM Mitch, he quit a few years ago and seems to be doing great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miller Posted February 25, 2015 Report Share Posted February 25, 2015 Fixed! Seriously though, PM Mitch, he quit a few years ago and seems to be doing great! Mitch is miserable and hasn't come to terms yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bmwohio Posted February 25, 2015 Report Share Posted February 25, 2015 This is true. A person has to want to change. Up until August 2012 I was a heavy drinker. Looking back it was a problem, at the time I was abusing booze. I haven't had a drop since August 14th 2012 when I woke up in ICU at Grant hospital after crashing my car is a blackout running from the police for no fucking reason. When I woke up and spent 14 days in hospital and 14 in jail I decided I never drink again. That was my rock bottom. Your family member needs to hit rock bottom. He needs to want the change. If anyone of you is enabling they will continue. Cut them off. Have everyone cut them off. Quit trying to help and it will push them further. Good for you for changing....the only problem with the 'rock bottom' theory is some people don't survive the 'rock bottom' moment.....You're lucky to have made it out alive.... OP, maybe you're friend needs to sit down and hear some 'rock bottom' stories like these, before he experiences one himself, and who knows if he will be around after he gets there. Not sure if you can get a group of all those people, along with friends and family, in one room and do some type of intervention, but maybe you're at that point..... I don't know your friend, but if he is a big dude, you will need other big dudes to keep him there if you go the 'intervention' route.......and if he's married or has kids, then sometimes it's easier to keep him there to listen. Everyone has their 'turning point' but it is surely different for all people.... Good luck with it...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RyM3rC Posted February 25, 2015 Report Share Posted February 25, 2015 Alcoholism sucks, but if they want to change badly enough it can happen. I've seen the same person quit smoking cold turkey, and later alcohol after it about ruined a good marriage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
87GT Posted February 25, 2015 Report Share Posted February 25, 2015 Mitch is miserable and hasn't come to terms yet. Sick burn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cstmg8 Posted February 25, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 25, 2015 He's been in the hospital twice over it, once in icu, but tries to blame it on something else. He's been to AA, so I'm guessing he heard the stories there, but everyone always thinks they aren't as bad. I'm going to call the salvation army program today and see if I can get some info. I obviously care about him, but beyond that, it's affecting other family members. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitch Posted February 25, 2015 Report Share Posted February 25, 2015 I know a little bit about this shit. It's hard to stop because everyone around you can enjoys a beer or two responsibly, every faggot hipster is talking about this new craft beer that's only made once a year and you have to try just one. Everyone calling it a goddamned journey, not a lifestyle. You wake up hungover and you've ruined a friendship with your best friend, you're never drinking again, but there's still that bottle with 3 shots left in it, just enough to get rid of this headache... You want to quit, you know you have to but it's a habit, get home from work and you've earned that ice cold beer. One day it just hits you. I'm either going to be dead or in jail. Friends, family, coworkers have said it so many times, you don't care. It has to click in your head. Once you quit, then you need friends and family for support. For me the big thing was putting together a streak of sober days. You don't want to waste these first 14 days you've been sober right? Fuck, it'll take you so long to put another streak like that together. 2 years 1 month and 25 days and damn near each one of them would have been ok to just grab a 6pk to chill out with, maybe a beer with that pizza or steak. PS Thanks to the ones who stuck with me until it clicked in my head. You know who you are. I'm really fortunate to have some true friends. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jewtoys Posted February 25, 2015 Report Share Posted February 25, 2015 The persons has to want it, don't drag yourself into trying to change that. It will be an endless nightmare for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DTA09 Posted February 25, 2015 Report Share Posted February 25, 2015 As much as you want to help there's nothing you can do to make him quit. Until he hits bottom and decides for himself its time your just spinning your wheels. I learned it by living it. AA is a great tool ,resource and support group. But that alone can't make him quit. When and only when he is ready will it happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cstmg8 Posted March 20, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 20, 2015 Well, as an update, he checked into the ARC 6 month program, and seems to still be intent on staying after 3 weeks. I hope it sticks, and that the thought of losing everything woke him up enough to want it. Now we're just trying to help keep his household afloat and sort out the financial disaster its put them in. One day at a time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeffro Posted March 20, 2015 Report Share Posted March 20, 2015 I need to convince my sister and father to go to something like that. She still lives at home and they both enable each other. Getting hammered 5/7 nights a week is fucked up. Especially considering my fathers bout with liver cancer 2 years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Karacho1647545492 Posted March 20, 2015 Report Share Posted March 20, 2015 Well, as an update, he checked into the ARC 6 month program, and seems to still be intent on staying after 3 weeks. I hope it sticks, and that the thought of losing everything woke him up enough to want it. Now we're just trying to help keep his household afloat and sort out the financial disaster its put them in. One day at a time. Good to hear. Financial burdens can be overcome through many people's hard work. Overcoming alcoholism requires an insane amount of work and dedication from one person specifically, along with help from their friends & family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nate1647545505 Posted March 20, 2015 Report Share Posted March 20, 2015 The persons has to want it, don't drag yourself into trying to change that. It will be an endless nightmare for you. As disheartening as this sounds, it is very true. I had to end my engagement because of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted March 20, 2015 Report Share Posted March 20, 2015 Fuck em Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdk 4219 Posted March 21, 2015 Report Share Posted March 21, 2015 Intervention, if he has been in the ICU directly related to alcohol, the only rock bottom he will get is the funeral home. Everybody around him needs to be on board, and let hm know that his friend (alcohol) cannot be part of the family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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