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smokin5s

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Daughter turns 18 in a few months. She has a girlfriend who lives out of town (actual girlfriend, not just a friend) Would you be ok with her girlfriend staying with you when they have proven to not obey the rules and keep their hands off of each other as well as proven they will not stay in seperate beds?

 

Wife and I have completely oposite opinions on this, I beleive their dating partner regardless of gender should never stay the night under our roof, she believes they can fuck on the kitchen table for all she cares because she did it when she was 18 and would rather her be safe at home then in the back seat of a car. I feel it's sending the wrong message and I'm firmly against it... who's right and who's wrong? And no I will not post their pictures, neither one of them you would be interested in seeing anyways.

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Daughter turns 18 in a few months. She has a girlfriend who lives out of town (actual girlfriend, not just a friend) Would you be ok with her girlfriend staying with you when they have proven to not obey the rules and keep their hands off of each other as well as proven they will not stay in seperate beds?

 

Wife and I have completely oposite opinions on this, I beleive their dating partner regardless of gender should never stay the night under our roof, she believes they can fuck on the kitchen table for all she cares because she did it when she was 18 and would rather her be safe at home then in the back seat of a car. I feel it's sending the wrong message and I'm firmly against it... who's right and who's wrong? And no I will not post their pictures, neither one of them you would be interested in seeing anyways.

 

Is this strictly a moral issue or is there something deeper here? I dont see the point in trying to combat it. If you protest, theyre just going to do whatever it is youre afraid of somewhere else and probably 10x worse.

 

Maybe have a talk with her about it. Ask her to be respectful (and by respect i mean not doinking in the kitchen or on furniture) and if she obliges, show respect back.

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At 18 they can tell you to fuck off.

 

At 18 you can tell them to leave.

 

Personally, If my child wanted that same scenario I'd tell them "no" (No staying over, no fucking, no nonsense). Then again, I was raised by parents who were kinda old school.

 

You want me to pay for you when I don't have to anymore? You obey my rules regardless of how crazy my wife is.... The breadwinner (hopefully that's you) makes the rules.

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At 18 they can tell you to fuck off.

 

At 18 you can tell them to leave.

 

Personally, If my child wanted that same scenario I'd tell them "no" (No staying over, no fucking, no nonsense). Then again, I was raised by parents who were kinda old school.

 

You want me to pay for you when I don't have to anymore? You obey my rules regardless of how crazy my wife is.... The breadwinner (hopefully that's you) makes the rules.

 

Holy shit, LOL. :dumb:

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I'd lay the ground rules out, but if they break them (and they probably will) I wouldn't really make a big deal out of it. She's 18, do you really want to risk damaging your relationship/family by making a big deal out of something that in the grand scheme of things isn't really that big of a deal?
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People (Parents) get too worried about being democratic. Kids stay in line (for as long as they stay) when the parents set black and white rules. Then, after that's over they might go buckwild... But, if you do it right while also keeping it simple and keeping it "known" what you expect then you most likely get what you aimed for.

 

You think my son (9 months old) is going to dictate what he does regardless what I think (as he grows up)? Not a shot.

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do you really want to risk damaging your relationship/family by making a big deal out of something?

 

This is wrong, you are supposed to be a parent... and "parenting" isn't supposed to result in "Thank god no feathers were ruffled"...

 

you think I care if my kids think I'm "unfair"? Trust me, I was very VERY rebellious and for a long period of time (that my rebellion lasted) only to find out (early 20's) that my parents were doing what was best for me.

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Daughter turns 18 in a few months. She has a girlfriend who lives out of town (actual girlfriend, not just a friend) Would you be ok with her girlfriend staying with you when they have proven to not obey the rules and keep their hands off of each other as well as proven they will not stay in seperate beds?

 

Wife and I have completely oposite opinions on this, I beleive their dating partner regardless of gender should never stay the night under our roof, she believes they can fuck on the kitchen table for all she cares because she did it when she was 18 and would rather her be safe at home then in the back seat of a car. I feel it's sending the wrong message and I'm firmly against it... who's right and who's wrong? And no I will not post their pictures, neither one of them you would be interested in seeing anyways.

 

Literally LOL'd at this. :gabe:

 

Let them stay together. What is love? Baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. No more.

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You think my son (9 months old) is going to dictate what he does regardless what I think (as he grows up)? Not a shot.

 

I'm not disagreeing with you, but come back and update us 12 months from now on how that's working out. 9 months to two years is a whole different ballgame. :)

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This is wrong, you are supposed to be a parent... and "parenting" isn't supposed to result in "Thank god no feathers were ruffled"...

 

She isn't a kid anymore. She's an adult and it's more than ruffled feathers now.

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I am the bread winner, I was raised old school, yes, it's a matter of respect of my house hold. No I"m not ok with it. Being the breadwinner isn't a card I will nor am willing to play against my wife. She is home with my 4 year old all day... some would say that is more difficult than me working 2 jobs.

 

For the comment about at 18 they can tell me to go fuck off... well they can say that once off my property... while on my property and in my house, they will show respect or they won't be there long.

 

I did have a talk with her before she went and stayed at the girls parents house for a week... talking a big game about how she wouldn't do that in their house, how disrespectful it was, etc... then came home with hickies everywhere and talking about things that I didn't want to hear. I never did it in my parents house and didn't do it in my inlaws until my wife and I were married and stayed there for a month while our house was being built. To me there's a big difference between 30 and married than 17 and living under your parents roof.

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I am the bread winner, I was raised old school, yes, it's a matter of respect of my house hold. No I"m not ok with it. Being the breadwinner isn't a card I will nor am willing to play against my wife. She is home with my 4 year old all day... some would say that is more difficult than me working 2 jobs.

 

For the comment about at 18 they can tell me to go fuck off... well they can say that once off my property... while on my property and in my house, they will show respect or they won't be there long.

 

I did have a talk with her before she went and stayed at the girls parents house for a week... talking a big game about how she wouldn't do that in their house, how disrespectful it was, etc... then came home with hickies everywhere and talking about things that I didn't want to hear. I never did it in my parents house and didn't do it in my inlaws until my wife and I were married and stayed there for a month while our house was being built. To me there's a big difference between 30 and married than 17 and living under your parents roof.

 

So, why did you create this thread again? It sounds like you already have your mind made up, dude.

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