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Engagement Rings...


HotCarl

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Stay well within budget...just remember, the Engagement ring is so she'll say yes...you still have to put another ring on her finger at the wedding.

 

If her saying yes is based on the ring presented at proposal, run the other way!

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My wife actually proposed to me with some gangster cufflinks she had custom made for me.

 

So ring shopping we did together. While she knew exactly what she didn't want...she didn't really know or could find what she actually wanted. We went round and round, there was a ring she saw in a picture once she liked, couldn't find it. On night after we had basically said we would have it custom made we found 'it' at Shane Co.

 

I am REALLY glad she picked out her own ring, and rock. She actually got a smaller diamond than I was going to, because she didn't want this mass ring flopping around, she also got some sapphire in it. etc. They way I look at it is she is going to look at that ring every day. It isn't unreasonable to have her pick it out and have it be exactly what she wants. My wife still after 3 yrs just loves it and mentions it all the time.

 

If I were going to propose, knowing what I know now. I'd buy the diamond and I think I heard stores that will set it in a simple band, for the proposal, then come back and have her pick a ring to set it in.

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First off, don't go in debt for your ring to her.

 

Upgraded later in life can always happen.

 

Weird hints to take into account that after wearing my rings for 12 years now.. I have small hands, and in the winter/fall months my fingers shrink and my rings just spin and spin and it drives me nuts, if my diamond had been any bigger, I couldn't wear it in the fall months for fear of it coming off at random... The opposite happens in the summer- it's almost too snug. Fall and spring I never notice it..

 

So does she fidget with her jewelry much? A high mounted ring will spin and drive her batty.

 

Also- as awful as this may sound.. You CAN ask her what she likes. Maybe tell her you want to get her ring of her choice that's a birthstone, but want to let her pick it out.. You'll see the styles she likes of cuts and bands

 

Don't buy a ring based in her family's finances, that's just silly. You don't have to impress them. If they are good people they will be happy you two are engaged, if they are smart people they will know you put a lot of time and effort into the decision.

 

Does she even want a diamond? In this day and age when we are all more knowledgeable of the debeers monopoly and blood diamonds, some women are opting for non-traditional, vintage or handmade.

 

Does she wear jewelry a lot? If take note of rings she wears more often and kidnap one for a day and have it sized so you know what to get.. (This is not that important/ my rings have been sized twice since we got married- once right after our wedding when I realized it was too big with the diamond in the band, and how much it moved and once more about six months after that when I realized it was WAY too tight in the summer

(LPT- rings sized in spring/fall seem to be my best fitting rings)

 

Pick a budget comfortable for you. Remember you can always upgrade later... But likely won't downgrade.

 

Thank you for the female perspective, I should point out that she isn't a "jewelry girl" as in she never wear's gaudy, expensive or even flashy jewelry. I think she's had the same necklace since we've been dating. She has a drawer full of stuff that she basically only wear's to weddings and special occasions but none of it is particularly expensive.

 

And I should clarify, I'm not buying a ring or contemplating engagement to impress her family. Though they may be wealthy they don't act like it and are very humble people, which is another huge plus for me considering I'll be part of their family. I think the pressure that I mentioned was more of something I put on myself than any indication I've ever gotten from her family.

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Ran into a guy who had one of these as his wedding ring b/c he never had to take it off when he played goalie (soccer). seemed like an interesting idea really but I don't think my gf would wear one.

 

Thanks for the advice everyone, Bluenile.com seems interesting after looking around a bit. I have a budget of $3000 now and I would avoid having to finance anything (which is my goal). Though I need to account for the wedding band itself also, so I may raise that. I hadn't thought of going to a broker before, maybe because I assumed it would be more expensive than a traditional jewelry store. But that's something I'll keep in mind.

 

The one thing I do have is plenty of time. There's no rush to making a lifelong commitment.

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When I was dating, I took my GF in to the mall jewelry store so I could check out the watches. Eventually I knew she'd wander over to those damn rings. Just ask the jeweler to play along with you and find out what she likes then come back later by yourself. Or you can always go over there with her, browse then play it down by offering to get one from the bubble gum machine outside. Come back later and BAM, you are all set.
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