siggywiggy Posted August 12, 2009 Report Share Posted August 12, 2009 To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 AM EST. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend threatening our lifes. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment, I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 A CP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it? I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare footed since I made you leave your your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other people's in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.0ALater, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, what's up with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!Thoughtfully yours, Alex P.S. Remember this motto...An armed society makes for a more civil society Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheezle Posted August 12, 2009 Report Share Posted August 12, 2009 That's some funny shit! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbrjess0815 Posted August 12, 2009 Report Share Posted August 12, 2009 I've read multiple versions of this and they are usually all pretty awesome Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Anderson Posted August 12, 2009 Report Share Posted August 12, 2009 That was great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey1 Posted August 12, 2009 Report Share Posted August 12, 2009 I love it!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cypress Posted August 12, 2009 Report Share Posted August 12, 2009 Is this for real? If so...bravo to you, sir. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Casper Posted August 12, 2009 Report Share Posted August 12, 2009 Re...................http://www.ohio-riders.com/showthread.php?t=20333http://www.ohio-riders.com/showthread.php?t=20050 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomato_racing Posted August 12, 2009 Report Share Posted August 12, 2009 That isn't the first one like that I have seen. Still funny each time I read it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InyaAzz Posted August 12, 2009 Report Share Posted August 12, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kawi kid Posted August 12, 2009 Report Share Posted August 12, 2009 still funny everytime i read it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gixxie750 Posted August 12, 2009 Report Share Posted August 12, 2009 I was hopeing this actually happend... Damit! I like the calling the DA thing lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flounder Posted August 12, 2009 Report Share Posted August 12, 2009 not real but still a funny read Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
that dude Posted August 13, 2009 Report Share Posted August 13, 2009 im smashing the bullshit button on this read..great story i must say Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Posted August 13, 2009 Report Share Posted August 13, 2009 (edited) i know this is old as dirt and most likely fake, and it does have SOME humor to it... but this is not what a CHL is for, and you dont want to risk losing it by doing some stupid shit like this.once you take his phone and wallet, its not self defense any more. its armed robbery. personally, i wont draw my weapon unless im going to use it. the gun is to stop the threat. not to jack the person who was trying to jack you.i mean just think if a cop walked up at that very moment. you holding a gun on someone with shitty drawers handing over their wallet to you... whats that going to look like?not to mention that the anti-gun crowd thinks this is how we all are anyway, and this antecdote just reinforces thatmy $0.02 Edited August 13, 2009 by John Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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