jagr Posted August 25, 2009 Report Share Posted August 25, 2009 This guy likes to F with people on Craigslist and other sites. Some of it is hilarious.http://www.dontevenreply.com/ Posted at: 2009-08-16 19:00:05 The following post is a set of e-mails from me actually trying to sell my TV. I guess I was asking too much for it. Original ad: PLASMA HDTV - $850I'm selling my 42" 720p Samsung Plasma TV (PN42A410). I bought it a year ago and there is nothing wrong with it. I just want to get a bigger TV with more P's. From ************@yahoo.com to Mehey will you take $700 for itFrom Me to ************@yahoo.comYou are asking me to drop the price by $150. I am willing to do this if you let me shoot you in the groin with my paintball gun 20 times in a row. You can't wear a cup. I get to set the velocity to 450 FPS.From ************@yahoo.com to Meseriously?From Me to ************@yahoo.comYes. 20 shots and its yours. From ************@yahoo.com to Meuhh no. hows $750 soundFrom Me to ************@yahoo.comDo you have a girlfriend? If you do, and she is hot (I'll need pics), and she blows me, you can have the TV for $750. You can't watch either. From ************@yahoo.com to Mefuck off dudeFrom Me to ************@yahoo.comTell you what, I'll sell it to you for $900 and you won't have to do any of that stuff. From ************@yahoo.com to Mewtf your ad said $850From Me to ************@yahoo.comI added $50 for you trying to haggle me. I'll remove this $50 haggling fee if you let me break an empty vodka bottle over your head.From ************@yahoo.com to Mefuck offFrom **************@comcast.net to MeA TV like that goes for $699 brand new at Best Buy. I'll give you $400 for it?From Me to **************@comcast.netFor $400, I will cut the TV in half with a sawzall and give you half of it. Which half would you like? The left half has all of the HDMI inputs, and the right half has the power/channel/input buttons.From **************@comcast.net to MeI guess I'm going to Best Buy...From Me to **************@comcast.netWAIT! Before you go to Best Buy, consider my new offer:I'll sell you the TV for my new low price of $800. Also, I was planning on leaving it on a paused frame of gay porn all weekend so it would be burned into the screen, but I won't do this if you accept my offer within the next 10 minutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagr Posted August 25, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 25, 2009 This one was a little tricky. If you didn't figure it out, I am both Mike Anderson and Kira Anderson. Original ad: i am looking to trade/barter my 1994 Jeep Wrangler. 140k miles, yellow, good condition. NO CASH. I will barter just about anything of equal value! From Mike Anderson to **********@***********.orgCC: Kira Anderson Hey, I saw your ad for a '94 Wrangler for barter. I will trade you my whore of a wife for that car. She is a dirty little slut that fucks just about anything that moves. She doesn't really have much to offer, so I figure she is worth about the price of a used 1994 wrangler. I understand if you think she isn't worth it, so I am willing to throw in $200 cash on top of that. If you are looking for a loose whore that will give it up easily, my wife will be well worth the trade. Let me know if you are interested. Does the Wrangler come with a title? From Jim ***** to Me Ha ha! Very funny. I am married and don't think I would be interested in your wife. Thanks for the offer though! From Kira Anderson to Me, Jim ***** OH FUCK YOU MIKE!! DROP FUCKING DEAD!!! YOU ARE SUCH A SCUMBAG PIECE OF SHIT I FUCKING HATE YOU!!! From Mike Anderson to Kira Anderson, Jim ***** Fuck YOU, you stupid cunt! What are you doing on the computer? I figured you were fucking Steve again. Or how about our neighbor? I'm sure he's looking to stick his dick in some rotten pussy. You fucking twat. From Kira Anderson to Me, Jim ***** MIKE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE THIS IS IT. DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT COMING HOME TODAY BECAUSE ILL BE WAITING WITH A FUCKIN KNIFE From Mike Anderson to Kira Anderson, Jim ***** Ooh I'm real fucking scared. It might be kind of hard to stab me with 10 inches of black dick in your mouth you fucking WHORE From Jim ***** to Me, Kira Anderson Hey you two sound like a great couple and all, but could you stop including me in these e-mails? I really don't think this concerns me. From Kira Anderson to Mike Anderson, Jim ***** TELL YOU WHAT JIM ILL BUY YOUR FUCKING WRANGLER SO I CAN RUN OVER MY PIECE OF SHIT HUSBAND WITH IT From Mike Anderson to Jim *****, Kira Anderson Jim don't sell it to her. She'll probably pick up a random dude and crash the jeep while she's sucking his dick. From Kira Anderson to Mike Anderson, Jim ***** FUCK YOU From Jim ***** to Me, Kira Anderson Will both of you shut the fuck up and stop e-mailing me? Jesus fucking christ man c'mon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4DAIVI PAI2K5 Posted August 25, 2009 Report Share Posted August 25, 2009 hahaha nice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jessecwalters Posted August 25, 2009 Report Share Posted August 25, 2009 Haha that shits funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gump Posted August 25, 2009 Report Share Posted August 25, 2009 Nice... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disclaimer Posted August 25, 2009 Report Share Posted August 25, 2009 lulz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RSVDon Posted August 25, 2009 Report Share Posted August 25, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yotaman88210 Posted August 25, 2009 Report Share Posted August 25, 2009 l.o.l.z. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
siggywiggy Posted August 25, 2009 Report Share Posted August 25, 2009 Lol!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Likwid Posted August 25, 2009 Report Share Posted August 25, 2009 I've learned not to reply to people on Craigslist at all... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CBRzach Posted August 25, 2009 Report Share Posted August 25, 2009 I lol'd! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giantxtc Posted August 25, 2009 Report Share Posted August 25, 2009 Gotta love people with a good imagination and quick wit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagr Posted August 25, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 25, 2009 Gotta love people with a good imagination and quick wit.Yep. That's why we love JRMIII so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kreator Posted August 25, 2009 Report Share Posted August 25, 2009 I think I just found my new hobby! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OsuMj Posted August 25, 2009 Report Share Posted August 25, 2009 Yep. That's why we love JRMIII so much. I think he loves you too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagr Posted August 25, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 25, 2009 I think he loves you too.Don't be jealous DUDE. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightRider Posted August 28, 2009 Report Share Posted August 28, 2009 Been looking at all these. To me...this has been the funniest one i have read so far. Vintage Liquor Posted at: 2009-06-09 01:43:45 Original ad: Collector looking for vintage scotch, rum, cognac, bourbon, etc. Willing to pay top dollar for fine bottles. From Timmy Tucker to **********@**********.org Hey there! I saw your ad on ********** and have some "vintage" liquor you may be interested in. I have about half a handle of Captain Morgan's Rum, a rare vintage rum from the Caribbean. I bought this at a liquor store on Long Island in 2007, and believe that its taste has really aged to perfection. I am willing to sell this for $300. I also have a very rare bottle of Aristocrat Tequila. You can taste the fine vintage in every sip. I acquired it from a friend who says he bought it at a liquor store in Baltimore in 2005. You can really taste that southern atmosphere in this one! Due to its rarity, I will sell this for $500. Also, if you are interested, I have about half a case of vintage Natural Ice beer. It was acquired from a frat party I was at about a month ago. This frat has a very old history with Syracuse, and that history came with the beer. It doesn't get much more vintage than this. I will part with this at $50 per can. I really hate to see this stuff go, but after my third DUI, the court ordered me to do a program that involves me staying sober, so I think it is best that I part with this rare liquor. Please let me know if you are interested. I have several other buyers lined up, so I will need to know very soon. Thanks, Tim From Evan ******* to Me Tim, You must be crazy to consider that bottom-end liquor "vintage." I am not interested and am insulted that you would even try to sell me such cheap liquor at such ridiculous prices. Evan From Timmy Tucker to Evan ******* Evan, I am very disappointed that you are not interested in these vintage treasures. Every bottle and can I sell comes with priceless historic value. Please reconsider, because I don't think you will find an offer like this anywhere else. - Tim From Evan ******* to Me Are you nuts? You want to sell me beer you stole from a frat, that is a month old, for $50 a can? I am NOT INTERESTED. From Timmy Tucker to Evan ******* Evan, I did not steal that beer, and I resent the accusation. Please reconsider purchasing this. I am a recovering alcoholic, and fear that I will drink again if I am unable to get rid of this booze. Please do not make me drink again! Tim From Evan ******* to Me Why don't you just throw the booze away? You have problems, man. From Timmy Tucker to Evan ******* WJKAJF EVAN U RUNED MY LIF. I DRNK ALL THE BOTTLE. U MADE ME CRSH MY CAR AND RUN AWAY NOW POLICE RJSGJKEW. WIFE IN HOSPTAL. i HATE U EVEN U DISTROY LIFE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
socaln8tv Posted September 2, 2009 Report Share Posted September 2, 2009 thats funny shit. best laugh ive had all week. thanks for sharing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kawi kid Posted September 5, 2009 Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 hahahaha awesome reads Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alstare03 Posted September 5, 2009 Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 thats GREAT! man that is some funny shit that i would probably do just to mess with ppl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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