Meanie Posted February 17, 2011 Report Share Posted February 17, 2011 (edited) I got this from an email made me LOL. Sorry if its a repost.I had just come out of the store with two porterhouse steaks, a jumbo sausage, a bag of chips, and a 6-pack of beer. A homeless man sat there and said, "I haven't eaten for two days." I told him, "I wish I had your will power." Top tip: if you're camping in the summer and the attractive girl in the next tent tells you that because it's so hot she will be sleeping with her flaps open, it's not necessarily an invitation to casual sex. Wish me luck. I appear in court next Monday. A fat girl served me food in McDonalds at lunch time. She said, 'sorry about the wait.' I said, 'don't worry fatty, you're bound to lose it eventually.' I was behind a rather large woman at the checkout. She had on a pair of jeans that said, 'Guess.' I said, "I don't know........maybe 350 pounds." Snow in the forecast! The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight, I thought to myself "fat chance with a face like that!" I have a new pick up line that works every time! It doesn't matter how gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner and always end up in bed with them. Here's how it goes, "Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?" Edited February 17, 2011 by e-flores Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justin0469 Posted February 17, 2011 Report Share Posted February 17, 2011 but i can't say which ones im laughing about... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhallam85 Posted February 17, 2011 Report Share Posted February 17, 2011 but i can't say which ones im laughing about...I know exactly which ones hes laughing about! This made my ending day at work awesome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Butters Posted February 17, 2011 Report Share Posted February 17, 2011 last one is best...so wrong but so funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beegreenstrings Posted February 17, 2011 Report Share Posted February 17, 2011 Ahhhh I needed this... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chevysoldier Posted February 17, 2011 Report Share Posted February 17, 2011 Those were good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhallam85 Posted February 18, 2011 Report Share Posted February 18, 2011 lol...the last joke was deleted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meanie Posted February 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2011 yep....it was "offensive" or so I was told. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Butters Posted February 18, 2011 Report Share Posted February 18, 2011 fuckin forum nazis deleting the good shit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhallam85 Posted February 18, 2011 Report Share Posted February 18, 2011 Wasn't offensive to me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Butters Posted February 18, 2011 Report Share Posted February 18, 2011 bad324 must have complained Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obesityrules Posted February 18, 2011 Report Share Posted February 18, 2011 could i get a pm on the last joke, the ones posted now are crackin me up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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