Beegreenstrings Posted April 2, 2011 Report Share Posted April 2, 2011 I am walking to my company truck today, in ztown. When I come across a larger than normal person, in the alley, in zanesville. Hooker.She says, hey baby want a little putty.I reply, Sure where is a little one at.She looks at me dumb founded and replies with a simple, F UI get in another... Find that little and maybe.BAHHAHAHAHAHAA Lets here some of everybody elses... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big3 Posted April 2, 2011 Report Share Posted April 2, 2011 Lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strictly Street Posted April 2, 2011 Report Share Posted April 2, 2011 As I passed a man on the street he said to me "I haven't eaten in three days" and held out his hand. I replied "I admire your willpower" as I walked on by.drum roll, cymbal crash! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jblosser Posted April 2, 2011 Report Share Posted April 2, 2011 Large woman at work (some of us more snarky types have nicknamed her 'Planet').She wants me to see the CIO, fix his Blackberry. Now, I'm the server guy, not the desktop support guy, but whatevs, the CIO gets special treatment.The CIO is in a large meeting, the room is dark so everyone can see the ubiquitous PowerPoint presentation. I'm not going in there in the middle of a meeting - it can wait 'til it's over.I tell her I'm not going to bother him until the meeting's over.She's appalled that I won't follow her instruction, and says "Where's the disconnect, John?"I was tempted to say "The disconnect seems to be between your willpower and a box of Twinkies", but I didn't. It was at work, and there's a certain decorum to be followed.She and I always have gotten along - just that one time she had a little attitude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JStump Posted April 2, 2011 Report Share Posted April 2, 2011 (edited) At best buy you get a lot of customers who come in asking for stuff that doesn't exist like, my favorite thing is when people think EVERYTHING is wireless, sure a lot of stuff nowadays is but that does not mean you assume everything is. Well people come in and get mad cuz they say their friend told them about this one thing that does something special but they don't know what it's called, well when I say that doesn't exist they get hostile and claim it does cuz their friend is an expert in everything, so to end the conversation because sometimes this argument goes on for quite some time I just whip out this little line and 9 time out of 10 it works.I just say "there is only one way you can do what you are claiming to do" then they always ask "and what is that?" then I reply with "you don't happen to be a magician are you?" shuts them up almost every time cuz it's kinda like calling them an idiot but nicely lmao! Edited April 2, 2011 by JStump Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RFM Posted April 2, 2011 Report Share Posted April 2, 2011 I had a woman furious with me because her picture was sideways on the computer screen. She didn't want to have to look at it sideways when it printed.I said, "Follow this, I'll do it slow."I tilted a picture 90 degrees in my hands. How do some people barely have enough sense to draw their next breath? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JStump Posted April 2, 2011 Report Share Posted April 2, 2011 I had a woman furious with me because her picture was sideways on the computer screen. She didn't want to have to look at it sideways when it printed.I said, "Follow this, I'll do it slow."I tilted a picture 90 degrees in my hands. How do some people barely have enough sense to draw their next breath? Hahahahahahaha You need to check this out http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_os.shtml Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coyote Posted April 2, 2011 Report Share Posted April 2, 2011 The Wife and I were visiting Gettysburg a couple years ago...While sitting and eating ice cream on a bench in front of a shop, a squirrel in a tree next to us launched into an agitated chatter. The chiding went on for about 30 seconds. When it ended, without looking up from my ice cream, I responded "Yes, Dear..."Came pretty close to wearing ice cream that day. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jcarlson Posted April 2, 2011 Report Share Posted April 2, 2011 I worked at Uhaul where trucks rented for $19.95. I had a woman call in once and ask how much the $19.00 truck cost to rent. I said "About twenty bucks". She said thanks and hung up.Also, I go outside my office to have a smoke. I come in and my coat is all wet from rain. I pass someone and they say "Is it raining?" I say "No, I just went through the car wash". NO FUCKING KIDDING IT'S RAINING!!Or, same scenario except it's January. "Is it still cold out?" No there's was a heat wave about 20 minutes ago but it's gone now so I came in."What the hell do you think it's fucking January!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kawi kid Posted April 2, 2011 Report Share Posted April 2, 2011 I told this story once before, but I had a customer who religiously bitched about the price of the fuel i delivered. Well one day I had enough so as he is bitching I take the invoice back and said hold on ill be right back. I went to my semi and scratched off the price theb wrote the same damn price over the scratched out price. Took.it back to him and said now don't tell the boss I did that or its my ass. That was the happiest i have ever seen that man since he thought he was getting the special treatment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jessecwalters Posted April 2, 2011 Report Share Posted April 2, 2011 I told this story once before, but I had a customer who religiously bitched about the price of the fuel i delivered. Well one day I had enough so as he is bitching I take the invoice back and said hold on ill be right back. I went to my semi and scratched off the price theb wrote the same damn price over the scratched out price. Took.it back to him and said now don't tell the boss I did that or its my ass. That was the happiest i have ever seen that man since he thought he was getting the special treatment.haha thats funny. ppl are tarded Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scruit Posted April 3, 2011 Report Share Posted April 3, 2011 Arrived at work one day. Got into the elevator with all my bike gear still on. Joe Rocket boots, leather overpants, Tourmaster dayglo armored jacked, armored gloves, balaclava and flip-up helmet.Guys in the elevator says; "You on a bike?"What I wanted to say 1: "No, I teach kindergarten and the kids are pretty rough."What I wanted to say 2: "No, I'm 'Squiddy the Clown" and I'm going to a birthday party".What I wanted to say 3: "Here's your sign..."What I actually said: "Yup." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coyote Posted April 3, 2011 Report Share Posted April 3, 2011 Rode into work one day a while back, and a concerned co-worker saw my helmet on my desk..."Do you always wear a helmet?""No...Only when I'm riding my motorcycle." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kawi kid Posted April 3, 2011 Report Share Posted April 3, 2011 Those remind me of riding to my doctor apointment after my knee surgery and the doctor hadn't released me yet to do much of anything. Im sitting on his table and my backpack helmet gloves and jacket are sitting across the room.on a chair. The doctor walks into the room and say all my gear and asked did you ride your motorcycle in today? I said nope I brought the convertable... saftey first. then he decided to drain my knee again and torture me cuz I hate needles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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