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Once upon a time...


NinjaN8

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Don't know if this has been posted here before:

Once upon a time a Prince asked a beautiful Princess to marry him. The Princess said "No!". And the prince lived happily, ever after and rode motorcycles and screwed skinny, big-titted broads, and hunted and raced cars and, went to strip clubs, and dated women half his age, and drank whiskey, and beer, and never got bitched at or had to pay child support or alimony and kept his house and guns, and never got cheated on while he was away at work, and all his friends and family thought that he was cool as hell, and he left the toilet seat up whenever he wanted...

THE END.

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Jim was a good-hearted regular guy who married a good-hearted woman who shared his values, so she didn't mind that he kept riding his motorcycles. He still drank a whiskey or beer when he wanted, but not as much as when he was young, because he wanted to take care of himself so he could take care of her, too. When she got sick, his steady job and benefits covered the hospital bill. Later, when his job went to hell, her steady job tided them over, so they didn't suffer much, despite the setbacks.

Jim's neighbor, Bill, considered himself a prince and asked a princess to marry him, but she said "no." Bill didn't care 'cause he was busy smoking and drinking and riding to strip clubs. But when he lost his job he had to sell the bikes for half what he had in them just to pay bills. He eventually got another job, but the years of smoking and drinking caught up with him and he ended up in the hospital. Nobody much went to visit him because, after all, the skinny big-titted chicks from the strip club didn't care if he lived or died if he wasn't tucking bills in their g-strings and the good-time friends at the bar swore they'd never set foot in a hospital. Gave 'em the creeps.

Jim visited Bill in the hospital but they didn't have much to talk about. As he left, he thought, "Too bad Bill never found the RIGHT woman."

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Jim was a good-hearted regular guy who married a good-hearted woman who shared his values, so she didn't mind that he kept riding his motorcycles. He still drank a whiskey or beer when he wanted, but not as much as when he was young, because he wanted to take care of himself so he could take care of her, too. When she got sick, his steady job and benefits covered the hospital bill. Later, when his job went to hell, her steady job tided them over, so they didn't suffer much, despite the setbacks.

Jim's neighbor, Bill, considered himself a prince and asked a princess to marry him, but she said "no." Bill didn't care 'cause he was busy smoking and drinking and riding to strip clubs. But when he lost his job he had to sell the bikes for half what he had in them just to pay bills. He eventually got another job, but the years of smoking and drinking caught up with him and he ended up in the hospital. Nobody much went to visit him because, after all, the skinny big-titted chicks from the strip club didn't care if he lived or died if he wasn't tucking bills in their g-strings and the good-time friends at the bar swore they'd never set foot in a hospital. Gave 'em the creeps.

Jim visited Bill in the hospital but they didn't have much to talk about. As he left, he thought, "Too bad Bill never found the RIGHT woman."

Way to ruin the thread with reality ;)

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Way to ruin the thread with reality ;)

i'd say reality if this were the 50's and 60's. When over half of marriages fail, I'm sticking by continuing my life as it is, much like the original post :D

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i'd say reality if this were the 50's and 60's. When over half of marriages fail, I'm sticking by continuing my life as it is, much like the original post :D

you don't need to be married to have a support system. Find a "hetero life partner" to split rent/mortgage and bail each other out of jail.

I'm not going to bag on marriage, but shit happens. Statistically, I'll have 2-3 divorced friends. If my marriage takes a turn for the worse, I've got my bases covered.

With Obama in office, we might even be able to share benefits in the not too distant future :p

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you don't need to be married to have a support system. Find a "hetero life partner" to split rent/mortgage and bail each other out of jail.

I'm not going to bag on marriage, but shit happens. Statistically, I'll have 2-3 divorced friends. If my marriage takes a turn for the worse, I've got my bases covered.

With Obama in office, we might even be able to share benefits in the not too distant future :p

oh I'm not bagging on marriage at all and I'm sure one day I'll succumb as well. Fortunately I don't see it happening anytime soon, save for one girl I've ever met that passes most items on my checklist :D. 60% failure rate is only great when were talking baseball at bats lol. My biggest pet peeve is when people frown upon my life choices then 5 mins later bitch that their significant other "wont let them do -insert event or purchase-"

I'm also fortunate that a majority of my close friends feel the same way and live a similar lifestyle so we all watch out for each other when needed

/rant

Edited by Bad324
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Jim was a good-hearted regular guy who married a good-hearted woman who shared his values, so she didn't mind that he kept riding his motorcycles. He still drank a whiskey or beer when he wanted, but not as much as when he was young, because he wanted to take care of himself so he could take care of her, too. When she got sick, his steady job and benefits covered the hospital bill. Later, when his job went to hell, her steady job tided them over, so they didn't suffer much, despite the setbacks.

Yea, she probably gave blowjobs after the wedding too.

Pretty much totally describes my marriage. NOT!!!

Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need are 2 hearts and a diamond. Later on you only want a club and a spade.

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at the rehearsal dinner for my friend's wedding, his dad got up and made a toast "to the 3 rings of marriage - the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering."

his reputation for amazingly awful jokes saved it from being awkward.

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