Changing times (college, etc.)

[redkow97]

A post in another thread got me thinking about this, but I thought it better to start a new thread for everyone's thoughts rather than derailing the original...

Anyway, the comment was made that "30 is the new 18" as far as 'kids' moving out of their parents' house.

I wouldn't say this is universally true, but a lot HAS changed in the last 20 years or so. As my high school government teacher told my class "we lied to your parents. We told them they should go to college, but they would have made just as much money applying at the steel mill right out of high school."

Both my parents have associates degrees. And supported 4 kids in a nice suburb.

But that's another major change in and of itself. By the time my dad was my age (29) he had 2 sons with a third on the way. My mom had my sister (11 years younger than me) when she was 35. Now it's not uncommon for people to have their first kid at 35.

My baby sister is in college now. She lives on campus, but I've started questioning the need for that as well. It used to be that you went away to college because there were no colleges within reasonable commuting distance. How many of us can say that now?

So my roundabout point is that "kids" these days are starting life years later than their parents did (4-6+ years of college), and with more loan debt. 30 may not be the new 18, but I think 24 is the new 18 for sure.

[nautical1]

I can agree with that. It seems like now a days people live at home until they're in their mid to upper 20's and blow money on toys instead of trying to move out and start life on their own. I also think the perception that everyone needs to go to college is crazy, just because someone has a degree doesn't mean they're a good candidate for a job. For some jobs I do think college should be needed but more often than not I don't see the reason why you'd need a degree for certain jobs. That's my take on it anyways.

Edited February 13, 2013 by nautical1

[Tpoppa]

I think the current crop of kids graduating from high school are generally less motivated and less prepared to make it on their own at age 18 than people from my era.

There are plenty of monetary factors involved...poor job martket, high tuition costs, inflation, etc. But, I think the recent culture shift towards things like bicycle helmets and not keeping score in youth sports is well intentioned, but has ultimately retarded character development and weakened the spirit of our young.

Edited February 13, 2013 by Tpoppa

[redkow97]

Well a lot of times, I think people are obsessed with getting an education rather than actually qualifying themselves for a job.

I went to college not really knowing what I wanted to do. Big mistake, in hindsight. Even if I had known what I wanted to do, I still wouldn't have known what major to choose to actually be competitive in that job market after graduation.

Using my family as an example...

As noted, I went into undergrad not knowing what I wanted to do. I declared English as my major after absolutely demolishing first year composition classes, and realizing I was good at it (plus the girl I was trying to bang at the time was majoring in English, so I could schedule stuff with her).

I also started in the pre-law program, but after a year and a half, I decided I really wanted to go into journalism, specifically automotive journalism. Write for motor trend, right? Sure! toss me the keys. I can be witty and analytical! WRONG. I found out later than 1) such publications prefer an engineer who can write over a writer who knows a bit about engineering; 2) a photography background isn't a bad place to start either, because you can produce a full sample piece on your own and save your eventual employer the expense of sending along a second person; 3) I should have been driving competitively (SCCA autocross) as soon as my feet could reach the pedals.

So bottom line is that I got a degree that really didn't qualify me for many jobs... I was lucky to land a technical writing gig that turned into other business opportunities within the same company.

My brother got dual degrees in Chemistry and Biology. He's been in school since 2004, and is still a couple of papers away from finishing his PhD in Chemistry. When I ask him what he's going to do after graduation, he says, "I don't know - either get paid to do research, or teach somewhere, I guess." In his case, he's gotten enough connections through his academic 'career' that his employment prospects are pretty good, but still, neither of those jobs were what he actually planned on doing when he started undergrad, or even when he started his PhD.

We both went to private schools too. My brother went out-of-state. I would NEVER spend that money over again.

[redkow97]

I also have at least one friend who did the "career change."

Frank is 34 and lived in his parents' basement until last month. He's a great attorney, but he is definitely getting a late start.

[Tpoppa]

I have no complaints with my degree or career path, but "if I knew then what I know now" I would be pharmacist. Good $$, lots of jobs, flexible schedules, & low stress.

[NinjaNick]

As long as they can buy things on their own, they can stay with me until 25 max.

[TheBrown57]

I was on the 18 an out program

[standout]

i have an 18 year old now. Graduated high school last year and started college recently. seems content to just go to school, work at wal-mart, and live at home. Way less motivated then i was. He pays his car insurance, cell phone bill, buys his own food and stuff like that but has no drive. It was kinda like oh my parents were bugging me so guess ill go to school to get them off my back. I just don't get it. Me and his mother were both out the house before 18, made it on our own and are damn proud of it.

As far as college i personally view it as a waste of time and money. I tried for about a year and said f-that. I got a job and worked my way to the top. Yes i struggled at first but no more then a normal college kid but when i "got on" i had no debt and an education in my field that couldn't be learned in any classroom.

[TheBrown57]

I lucked into a decent job an once I get my car, bike an other things paid off I plan on going to get some kind of college that will equal more pay at my current job.

[redkow97]

I'm not against higher education, i just think people should be able to articulate a reason for pursuing their college degree.

I'm also not against letting my kids (hypothetically) live at home beyond 18 if they need to; so long as they have a real plan on how and when they are getting OUT and supporting themselves.

[imprez55]

I am 22, living in an apartment by myself while going to school 5 days a week and working 7 (soon to change). After I get my degree, if I find a job close by, I will probably move back home. It certainly isn't because I am unmotivated, lazy, or any other synonym: its because that is the most responsible decision. A house built for 3 kids and not occupied by any isn't doing anyone any good; I have way too many things to be in an apartment comfortably and do not have the funds to get anything larger; its fiscally responsible for both parties; I love my family and do not have problems with them; and many more reasons. I don't know where the idea that when you turn 18 you need to be on your own came from, but I don't personally need to display one-upmanship trying to accomplish it.

Now, if I need to move for my job, then I will still be moved out but I will be living with roommates in the same sort of situation; splitting the cost of living to save some extra $$$. Either way it is done, I don't see a way I could be "starting my life earlier" unless I skipped college. For me, that was not feasible since the career paths I found I would most likely be in, all needed college degrees. All I can see is that people need to be in school for longer for more jobs, which is the way society has gone and is not a function of a person's ability

[JStump]

I'm 22 as well with my own place, a new car, pretty new bike, a "pretty darn good" paying job and an associates degree. I would consider myself an outlier in the group of people I went to high school with. Most of my friends still live at home(nothing wrong with that), but a good portion also don't have a job or any idea what they want to do in life. 1 of my best friends in high school has been going to college for 5 years now and still hasn't figured out his major, he just keeps getting free money from the gov to go to school. Has never had a job, a car or even a license. This unfortunately is the mold many people fall into and just don't give a shit to change.

Edited February 14, 2013 by JStump

[Pokey]

As long as they can buy things on their own, they can stay with me until 25 max.

Same thing for my son, although I have a strong feeling that won't even remotely be an issue. I was married at 23 and became a Dad at 24, I knew I had something good so I just rolled with it.

[Pokey]

I am 22, living in an apartment by myself while going to school 5 days a week and working 7 (soon to change). After I get my degree, if I find a job close by, I will probably move back home. It certainly isn't because I am unmotivated, lazy, or any other synonym: its because that is the most responsible decision. A house built for 3 kids and not occupied by any isn't doing anyone any good; I have way too many things to be in an apartment comfortably and do not have the funds to get anything larger; its fiscally responsible for both parties; I love my family and do not have problems with them; and many more reasons. I don't know where the idea that when you turn 18 you need to be on your own came from, but I don't personally need to display one-upmanship trying to accomplish it.

Now, if I need to move for my job, then I will still be moved out but I will be living with roommates in the same sort of situation; splitting the cost of living to save some extra $$$. Either way it is done, I don't see a way I could be "starting my life earlier" unless I skipped college. For me, that was not feasible since the career paths I found I would most likely be in, all needed college degrees. All I can see is that people need to be in school for longer for more jobs, which is the way society has gone and is not a function of a person's ability

I think you are wise beyond your years.

[jbot]

i'm 31.

ok, i'll just stop there. i'm fucking old

[flounder]

When you all say you got lucky and got a good job what does that mean to you? You like your job? Paid well? Both? What is your definition of good pay 40k, 60k, 100k,

[nautical1]

A good job in my opinion puts food on the table, roof over your head and lets you have stuff that we can take for granted. I don't make great money like others on here but I know how to manage it and live within my means and I think I'm doing pretty damn well compared to my friends or people I use to know. I tried going to college for a year but it just wasn't for me and I didn't know what I'd even get a degree in. Thankfully my employer is allowing me to work my way up to a better position so even though I didn't get a degree I can get into a position where one may be needed but they'll allow me to bypass that with experience and I'm still young so who knows what else could change. For being in my young 20's I'm happy with everything I've done thus far such as being engaged, looking into a second house, having two newer cars and a bike, plus other fun ammenities.

And kudos to those busting their ass out there to do what they can.

[shittygsxr]

I married a chick that makes a lot more than me . The rest of you are stupid.

[2talltim]

I'm 36 me and my wife had our own apartment and nice cars and a okay job right out of high school. We had our first child 2 year later, my children are now 13 and 10. I had a few jobs over the course of a few years but i always upgraded (pay and benefits), then my old man got me in his shop where i am now which is higher then average pay for manufacturing, ive been there for 16 years now. I don't mind my job, sometimes i even enjoy it but sometimes the long hours and work place politics gets to me. About 6 years ago my wife decided she was sick of working in a factory and decided to go back to school but didn't really land a job till last year, and i still make more than her. Even though i think she is happier now, the financial side of it has not paid off(yet). Five year ago she quite her $13 a hour job to go to school, we now have $30K in student loan debt plus the lost wages over a 4 year span and she now makes $17 a hour. Has far as my kids go i'll let them stay at home as long as they are in school or the military and once they are done with that ill give them i little time to get started, but ye they are not just going to milk me for years like some kids do now days.

[Pokey]

I married a chick that makes a lot more than me . The rest of you are stupid.

And you sir are also wise beyond your years.

[jblosser]

Derp jr., should he decide to go to school (and isn't accepted into West Point, which is his current plan), will have his school paid for. I saw to that when he was born. If he chooses not to go on to higher ed., the trust is his, but with strict rules attached.

he's welcome to live with me as long as he wants, assuming he's not a total delta-bravo. If he is, see ya.

I was out a hair before I turned 18 (august birthday) 'cause i wanted to. Worked 40/week, went to school, paid for it with money earned, money previously saved/invested, etc. Don't technically need it for my field, but it doesn't hurt.

I didn't "luck into" a job, I've worked to get where I am these days. Arrive early, stay late, don't call in sick when you have a hangover (don't get lit during the week), volunteer to come in weekends, etc. (as a single person or one w/o children, there's no reason not to, imho). Make yourself valuable to your boss, and his/her boss - you'll be rewarded.

as Dave Ramsey says, "...live like no one else now, so later you can live like no one else...", or something along those lines. nutshell: work your @ss off, save as much as you can, don't waste money/buy crap you don't need when you're young, so that when you get to "that age", you can do whatever the heck it is you want to.

"good" pay? your age. "pretty darn good" pay? double it. "really good/great" pay? triple+ it. again, just my $0.022 worth.

[JStump]

"good" pay? your age. "pretty darn good" pay? double it. "really good/great" pay? triple+ it. again, just my $0.022 worth.

I would say thats pretty accurate.

[turnone]

I have one kid at OSU and feel he is well on his way. CS&E program.

I have one graduating HS (barely) this year and I worry like crazy about him.

I have 5th and 7th graders that I haven't started to worry about yet, hopefully won't need to.

As far as kids living with me forever, unlikely. I hope they want to move out and get on with their own lives. All my kids are boys and I have full custody of them.

I think it is more likely for kids to want to hang around these days because it is so expensive to have a 'base' lifestyle. Cell, nice car, toys, etc. I understand people can live with much less, but once you get those things, it's hard to go backwards to have less.

One things is for sure, I won't support them into adulthood financially. I see so many live poverishly (is that a word?, nope) when their kids live all high and mighty on their money.

I joined the Navy and left for boot camp a week after HS graduation. I had been working since 12 and regular paycheck job as soon as I was legally able at 14. I don't regret it.

My feelings on college: Great for the right people going for the Science and Tech degrees. Best time to do is when you are young. I tried to go college as an adult and didn't find it to be worth the time or money. I think if you spent half the time it takes to go to class and homework and spent building a business, you would likely be much more successful. But to each their own.

So many people are racking up tens of thousands in loans and use school as an income source, not fully comprehending that much of that money will need to be paid back with interest.

My personal feeling is that everyone should strive to be better. This doesn't have to mean working 80 hour weeks and kissing the bosses ass, but if you invest that time and energy, I hope it pays off with better pay, more freedom and happiness, along with shorter work weeks in the future.

Good luck to all. As parents, WE are to blame if our group of kids are lazy asses.

Biggie

[tyler524]

I am about to turn 24 and appear to be an anomaly among other people in my age group. I did a engineering tech vocational program for jr & sr year of highschool and also attended college full time my senior year. A few months after hs graduation, I was lucky enough to get a mechanical detailing position and was able to prove myself through a lot of hard work and drive. I worked at that place for almost two years before they shut down and was able to get a job as the lone person in engineering for a mid size machining company but had a 3 hr total commute each day. After 6 months, I left there for a job offer that I received at a fairly decent sized company as mechanical designer. I did that for a year and worked my ass off, soaked up every bit of knowledge that I could, took initiative, made decisions, and ended up getting promoted to a project engineer 2 years ago. Since then I have done very very well for myself and have become one of the go to guys. I strive every day to improve our product, find cheaper ways to do things, simpler ways to build what we do.

A lot of the guys that work for me have their bachelors and suck at even the basic things that you would think someone with an engineering degree would be able to do. These guys are afraid to make a decision not matter how big or small it may be. We have guys that seem to think that they can come in, do lazy sloppy work, go home at the end of 8 hours and be completely fine with it. It baffles me how people don't have any pride in the work that they do any more. It seems to me that people go to school now days and expect everything to be handed to them just because they went to school and got a degree like they were always told they had to. Having a degree isn't jack shit without some type of drive and motivation.