I tend to use oil, and chase with with a bit of balm. I've tried a few different balms and the only one that didn't make my beard feel like straw, is this stuff. I use it very sparingly. http://www.burlymanbeard.com/burly-beards/ The oil helps keep things soft, and the balm just helps keep it tame. If I just use oil, it looks like I'm transforming into chewbacca