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Cdubyah

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Posts posted by Cdubyah

  7. How to Poop at work....

    in Dumpster

    Posted

    There's also the "Spray Bomb". That's where you think it is going to be solid and then all of a sudden, POW!! It lets loose and sprays the toilet bowl and up under the rim.

    Messy enough, you need a towel to wipe your back off...

    eeeewwww:nono:

  9. How to Poop at work....

    in Dumpster

    Posted

    How to Poop at Work We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.

    *CROP DUSTING* When farting, you walk really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff, but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

    *FLY BY* The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. Peo ple may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

    *ESCAPEE* A fart that slips out while taking a pee or forcing a poop in astall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are a man and are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

    *JAILBREAK* When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occur red.

    *COURTESY FLUSH* The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air tim e the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

    *WALK OF SHAME* Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

    *OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER* A colleague who poops at work and is Doggone proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom..

    *THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N)* A grou p of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

    *SAFE HAVENS* A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

    *TURD BURGLAR* Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

    *CAMO-COUGH* A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with a SHIRLEY TEMPLE.

    *SHIRLEY TEMPLE* A subtle toe-tapping that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear a SHIRLEY TEMPLE, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

    *WATERMELON* A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

    *HAVANA-OMELET* A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a CAMO-COUGH with a SHIRLEY TEMPLE.

    *AUNT BETTY* A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever....Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An AUNT BETTY makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees!

    SOME VARIETIES OF POOP YOU SHOULD BE AWARE OF

    The King Poop = This kind is the kind of poop that killed Elvis. It doesn'tcome until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.

    Bali Belly Poop = You poop so much you lose 5 lbs.

    Cement Block = You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you poop.

    Cork Poop (Also Known as Floater Poop) = Even after the third flush, it'sstill floating in there. How do I get rid of it? This poop usually happensat someone else's house.

    The Bungee Poop = The kind of poop that just hangs off your rear before it falls into the water.

    The Crippler = The kind of poop where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.

    The Chitty Chitty Bang Bang = The kind of poop that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.

    The Party Pooper = The giant poop you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise..

    :lol: :lol: :lol:

  11. Peanut Butter Jelly Time

    in Pics and Vids

    Posted

    Well there was this rumor going around that I was the numma numma kid. Just becasue I'm a fat guy with glasses, and it would prolly be something that I would do, if I were bored. Even the kids room looked like mine, in my old apartment.

    So I was up at Easton, doing some shopping, and this lady said "Oh my God, you're the numma numma guy, can I have your autograph?"

    I politely declined.

  20. Outlaws and Mongols coming to dayton

    in Dumpster

    Posted

    Membership for Hells Angel

    According to the US Department of Justice, HAMC members must be men over 21 years of age and are required to own a Harley Davidson motorcycle.[citation needed]

    The full requirements to become a Hells Angel are the following: candidates must have a valid driver's license, have a working Harley Davidson motorcycle and cannot be a child molester or have applied to become a police officer or prison guard.[10]

    Doesn't look like anyone here will be joining anytime soon.

    Definitely an interesting read....

  23. please do me a favor

    in Dumpster

    Posted

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rickroll

    On April 4, 2008, many web communities, starting with Fark.com,[20] urged their readers to vote "Never Gonna Give You Up" for the 8th inning sing-along at Shea Stadium for the New York Mets season. The Mets posted a web poll to select a song, and left a blank field for write-ins. The Mets organization announced On April 7, 2008 that "Never Gonna Give You Up" was the winner with more than five million votes.[21] The Mets decided not to commit to using Astley's song and subsequently announced a run-off among six songs that would be played at Shea Stadium for the next six games, starting with "Never Gonna Give You Up" on April 8, 2008.[22]

    MLB.com later reported on the game, claiming "Never Gonna Give You Up" was played as a "result of fans rigging the vote in favor of Astley, all part of a universal Internet phenomenon known as Rick Rolling". The song was played during the home opener and greeted with "a shower of boos

    my Friend has this as his ringback tone. Should I give him your number Whodey? :dj:

  25. Would you hire her???

    in Dumpster

    Posted

    In the beginning of the article she said that should couldn't even get her foot in the door. Later the article stated she was offered a job for minimum wage and turned it down.

    That sure looks like a way in to me. She could still look and be employed at the same time. Yeah it's not a lot of money, but it is something to supplement the income.

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