KawayZ

NEGROS I'VE MET WHILE YACHTING By Tiger Woods ______________________________________________ THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY By Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan. Illustrated by Michael Moore ________________________________________ MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS & HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA By Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton _______________________________________ THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL By Hillary Clinton ________________________________ Sequel: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY By Bill Clinton ___________________________________ MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE By Osama Bin Laden ___________________________________ THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD By Bill Gates ____________________________________ THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY By Dennis Rodman _______________________________ THINGS WE KNOW TO BE TRUE By Al Gore & John Kerry ____________________________________ AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC ___________________________________ A COLLECTION of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES By Dr. J.. Kevorkian _________________________________ ALL THE MEN WE HAVE LOVED, BEFORE By Ellen de Generes & Rosie O'Donnell ____________________________________ GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE By Mike Tyson _________________________________ THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY ______________________________________ MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS By O. J. Simpson ________________________________________ HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE OVER BRIDGES By Ted Kennedy ___________________________________ MY BOOK OF MORALS By Bill Clinton with introduction By the Rev. Jesse Jackson *** AND, JUST ADDED: Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy! By Nancy Pelosi

Next time you think your hotel bill is too high, you might want to consider this: My wife and I are traveling by car from Victoria to Prince George.After almost eleven hours on the road, we were too tired to continue, and decide to take a room. But, we only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When we checked out four hours later, the desk clerk hands us a bill for $350.00.. I explode and demand to know why the charge is so high. I tell the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.00. Then the clerk tells me that $350.00 is the 'standard rate'. I insisted on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appears, listens to me, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre that were available for us to use. 'But we didn't use them.' 'Well, they are here, and you could have,' explains the Manager. He goes on to explain we could also have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. 'We have the best entertainers from New York , Hollywood , and Las Vegas perform here,' the Manager says. 'But we didn't go to any of those shows.' 'Well, we have them, and you could have,' the Manager replies. No matter what amenity the Manager mentions, I reply, 'But we didn't use it!' The Manager is unmoved, and eventually I gave up and agreed to pay. I write a cheque and give it to the Manager. The Manager is surprised when he looks at the cheque. 'But sir, this cheque is only made out for $50.00..' 'That's correct, as I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with my wife.' 'But I didn't!' exclaims the Manager. 'Well, too bad, she was here, and you could have.'

This is tooooooooo weird! Have you ever noticed that if you rearrange the letters in "illegal immigrants" and add a few more letters, it actually spells out: "Fuck off and go home all you benefit-stealing, kid-producing, no-English-speaking cocksuckers, and take those hairy-faced, sandal-wearing, bomb-making, goat-fucking, mutton-eating, smelly raghead bastards with you." How weird is that ??

I'm confused.

That is sweet!

fn sweet!

I never have liked Kanye. Now, I like him even less.

R.I.P. G. Sweet Z. Life's too short. Gotta be happy.

LOL

I got a photographer...