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One evening Terry went over to his boy Tony's house to play cards with some friends. Terry sat directly across from Tony's wife. Terry dropped a card on the floor and bent down to pick it up. When he looked across the table he saw that Tony's wife had her legs open and no panties on. He sat up and was flushed so he went to the kitchen to get a drink of water. To his surprise Tony's wife had followed him into the kitchen and said 'do you like what you see?' Terry said 'Yes I do'. She said 'well you can get more than that for $500'. Terry thought it over and said 'ok', she said come back tomorrow at 2:30, Tony will be at work'. Terry came over and they had sex, he paid her and left. Later, Tony comes home and asks, 'Has Terry been here today?' She said 'Yes', thinking she had been caught. 'As a matter of fact he has.' Tony said 'Good, because that fool came by my job this morning and borrowed $500 til this evening and said he would leave it with you!'

HOTH MISSION Korean War Veteran’s Wish Comes True CPL Dick Paige United States Army Departure Staging Location: Ohio Veterans Memorial Park 8005 Cleveland-Massilon Road 11 August 2010 @ 1030 hrs. (10:30am) Staging: Ohio Veterans Memorial Park 11 August 2010 @ 0945hrs. (9:45am) Destination Location: Cleveland Burke Airport 1501 N. Marginal Road Cleveland, OH 11 August 2010 @ 1130hrs. (11:30am) Staging: Cleveland Burke Airport 11 August 2010 @ 1100hrs. (11:00am) If you are not riding in the escort, please be at the airport staging area with flags ready. One of CPL Paige’s items on his wish list was to have one last ride in a helicopter. This has been arranged by a news station in Cleveland. Please be there to help us escort him to the airport and to show our encouragement as he lifts off. District #3 Captain Ralph Bago is assigned to the HOTH Mission. Please follow his instructions at all times and remember your 3X5 foot American Flags. Dress per weather conditions and remember to stay hydrated. Stand with your knees at a slight bend to help with blood circulation. Mike Hamilton District #7 Ride Captain

TODAY Welcome Home: SPC Matthew J. Heilman Tiffin,OH US Army Returning from OEF, 08 AUG 10 Staging Location: American Legion Post 733 3751 State Route 12 Bettsville, Ohio 44815 08 August 2010@1400hrs-(2 PM) Kickstands' up @ 1415hrs-(2:15 PM ) Welcome Home Location : Will be divulged at the Staging area. This is a Welcome Home Party for CPL Heilman being hosted by his parents . If you can, please make this mission and let this hero know that we appreciated his service to our country and that we support our Ohio Warriors . District #2 Ride Captain Harold Diller III is assigned this Welcome Home Mission . Please follow his instructions and remember your 3'x5' American flags. And by all means enjoy spending time with Matthew. Bob Woods Ohio State Captain Patriot Guard Riders

Confirmed Mission FO Clarence N. Spencer Sr. New Carlisle, Ohio US Army Air Corps WWII Veteran Flight Officer Visitation: Trostel-Chapman-Dunbar & Fraley Funeral Home 507 West Jefferson Street New Carlisle, Ohio 45344 09 August 2010@1000hrs-(10 AM ) Family Only 09 August 2010@1100-1300hrs-(11AM-1 PM ) Friends Staging: Trostel-Chapman-Dunbar & Fraley Funeral Home 09 August 2010@0900hrs-( 9 AM ) Services: Trostel-Chapman-Dunbar & Fraley Funeral Home 09 August 2010@ 1330hrs-(1:30 PM ) Interment: Glen Haven Memorial Gardens - Following the Services 8350 West National Road New Carlisle, Ohio 45344 FO Clarence N Spencer Sr. is the father of Clarence "CJ" Spencer, Ohio District # 7 Ride Captain. Please keep CJ and his family in your thoughts and prayers. District # 7 Ride Captain Mike Hamilton is assigned this mission of Honor and Respect. Please follow is instructions and remember your 3'x5' American Flags. Dress per the weather conditions and make sure you stay hydrated. Make sure to post your condolences to the family . CJ, our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, Your brothers and sisters of the Ohio Patriot Guard. Bob Woods Ohio State Captain

Confirmed Mission: SPC Joseph A. Bauer, 27, Owensville, Ohio 5th Battalion,3rd Field Artillery Regiment,17th Fires Brigade, Joint Base Lewis-McChord, Washington, 07 AUG 10 17th Fires Brigade Casualty of Operation Enduring Freedom Died 24 July 2010 Qalat, Afghanistan Visitation: Gwen Mooney Funeral Home 4389 Spring Grove Avenue Cincinnati, Ohio 45223 07 August 2010@1000-1700hrs-(10 AM -5 PM ) Staging: Gwen Mooney Funeral Home 07 August 2010@0800hrs-( 8:00 AM ) Services: Private Family only Inurnment: District # 7 Ride Captain Mike Hamilton is assigned this mission of Honor and Respect. Please follow his instructions at all times. Dress per the weather conditions and make sure you stay hydrated, keep your knees with a slight bend in them . This helps with circulation. This is a long visitation so please help relieve each other standing the flag line . If you need to take a break ,DO SO. There will be water and snacks there. Bob Woods Ohio State Captain Patriot Guard Riders

You need to buy a gun, or 7.