I've got a heart cath on Wed morning. I'm not giving up, but I'm not holding on tight either. It's not a false negative. The tests were clear, and the way I'm feeling is even more so. I'm exhausted all the time... dry cough... shortness of breath. I'm not depressed. I know that God is in control. I believe there is a purpose in everything; even this. I don't believe in using meds that affect the mind- it's too often a crutch for dealing with the issues. I'm just waiting, and feeling bad (physically). I understand your intentions, and I appreciate the tough love. I'm doing ok, really. But, at the same time, I don't see the point in being careful right now. A motorcycle accident could be merciful and quick (not that I'm trying to get in one).