mrs.cos

everything seems to be going well.. however now its come time to actually do paperwork and im loooking at this application..

I really think i want to talk to a lawyer.

Everything so far is going well on the expectations side.. but now that its getting to brass tacks..

She is IMPOSSIBLE to get a hold of, which is INFURIATING.

I think she still thinks im not gonna push for hte estate part of this. (i think she gets social security? Im not sure)

Considering they are being limited by a number of batteries attainable and them trying to finish the gigabyte factory.. its gonna be a slowe delivery. I saw on news the otehr day they have over 400K deposits currently.. and only about 100K batteries available.. (musk said so as much himself)

that list is gonna be slow filled

So another question.

I told her what the schools said.

She mentioned us getting a lawyer then to start things.

So the question I have now is.. do I need a lawyer where she lives or where we live? (She's in Montgomery county)

Does it matter since this is a mutual agreement?

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As far as I know, residential custody requires the individual to have some custody rights first. You see it in joint custody divorce cases - both parents have shared custody but one parent is considered to have residential custody so that the child isn't bouncing between schools.

 

here is the Ohio Atty General guide on guardianship:

http://www.ohioattorneygeneral.gov/Files/Publications-Files/Publications-for-Consumers/Ohio-Guardianship-Guide-%28PDF%29

 

one way you can broach this with you aunt is there are two different types of guardianship: one of the person and one of the estate. You could make your aunt the guardian of the estate, which means she can collect the continued payments and manage the finances of the child, where as you could be the guardian of the person allowing the child to live with you, attend schools, and receive medical treatment.

ohhhh This might be ideal!

What a great idea.

Yah i went to talk to the school today and they basicly put a big "NO" stamp on non custodial enrollment. Said its state law.

If that the truth, she can give you access to it to make those deposits or even better they should be directly deposited into said account.

 

Im sorry, but that smells like BS to me- not sure if you would want to jump on that grenade though.

Wont lie, im sure she has good intentions.. but i dont think it will happen that way.. but i have been wrong about all of this up to this point reguarding my aunts behavior.

Does anyone think that they rides will open at all at this point? If they do, how many people will be in a hurry to get on one after this anyway?

There is a news article where people were complaining last night that the rides were shut down

yah, they had to have officers available to help with the complainers.

it was a little ridiculous.

Is she receiving some sort of financial aid for her? That may be the reasoning she doesn't want to give up legal custody.

She receives benefits for the girl, that she says will go into a college fund for her.

I do think that this may be part of it.

You need residential custody to be able to enroll her in school. Going through it with my son right now to change his schools

Does residential custody mean she is living with us or does it mean legal custody?

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Today went so well.. I am still in shock.

However the only hangup is she doesn't want to give up custody.

Can a legal guardian grant guardianship to someone else?

She wants her to come live with us, she wants her ina better school system and she admitted today she just isn't enough anymore and says we are good role models for her in life.

It was a moderately emotional day but very positive.

I just don't know how to handle the schooling situation. From what I have read, I need custody to get her into Hilliard schools

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I am doing what due diligence I can to be prepared but am expecting some sort of passive aggressive move on her part

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So in a completely unexpected turn of events - my aunt wants to talk to me tomorrow (supposedly) about me taking her to live with us.. unprompted from me- but prompted from the neice.

I have no idea what to expext tomorrow when I see her

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Im bumping this thread because half the dogs posted here are still available.

Molly and CC have gone to a Nursing home to spend out their final years as resident dogs. (they are loving it there, everyone is their speed!)

Newt was adopted by his foster mom who fell in love with him, and Kai is now living with LEO!!!! (BlueJackets anthem singer)

Truman is a truly wonderful dog. he loves to be by your side and loves the dog park. He's a great companion.

Myla is an energetic big girl and loves her foster siblings (fur and human alike)

Willie Nelson is a handsome gentleman whom i finally got to meet as he is finally in a foster home here in Columbus.

He's a boy who will need reassurance and introduced slowly to his environments. (allowed to sniff things out.. he doesn't like being touched on his head.. we think he may have been hit a lot on his head.

Willie is a favorite among the boarding house he was at, and his foster is getting to know him and loves him too.

the boogey man in the room is what if aunt wants to have child full time in the future or anyone else.... how is that spelled out?

I have no issue with my aunt wanting to do things with her and hell i would even encourage frequent visits. She has had her since she was born basiclly.

Have you talked to the Aunt to see how on-board she is with the child living with you or transferring guardianship? Given what I went through with my oldest daughter, just having the conversation opened the door to a mutually beneficial solution.

This possibility has been mentioned to her, and she knows im open to it. She has asked if I would be her guardian if anything happened to her, but AFAIK she never filed that paperwork. She is a bitter angry sad woman. She is a ridiculously smart woman (serious, super IQ) who is dumber than a box of rocks socially.

Something to think about, although idk if it applies to guardianship or not so it wouldn't hurt to ask, is power of attorny (sorry for the poor spelling) for medical purposes. When we had my son before the adoption was finalized (the courts had him legally placed with us) we had to have it in order to make decisions for his medical care. He was also not able to be added to my insurance until the adoption was finalized, it could be because he did not have a social security number until he was officially ours (if birthmom would have gotten it done, we would still have had to), but still something to look into.

I will not bring her to my home without all the proper paperwork in place, as far as her care. That is the whole reason I feel I should be moving forward with the concerns I have.

Just to be clear, the child we are talking about is the biological daughter of your adopted (now deceased) cousin. The Aunt is who is caring for the child is the woman who adopted your cousin, right? As far as I know the adoption shouldn't have an effect on the child being considered a relative, but again this isn't my area. I would be very surprised if she is considered anything other than related to you for that reason.

That's reassuring

13 is tough, that's 5 years before she reaches the age of majority. Either could work for you. I think the first step is to establish that the aunt has legal guardianship. You or Your attorney can get the court records without alerting the aunt to verify this. If she doesn't have guardianship, you may not have to involve her at all to get guardianship, and then things get really easy.

The easy way is getting her to allow guardianship and then moving forward from there. Your attorney (who should be a specialist in this area, not a general family practice attorney) will help you create a strategy based on your rights and the child's rights and the situation be it hostile or friendly. Till then, see if you can get her to stay at your house more often to get her acclimated, maybe even approach with the idea that temporary guardianship is necessary to get her into your school district if she is not doing well in school. You said you have had her for two weeks, well school starts soon maybe you can keep extending the stay and make that case to your aunt.

The two weeks was wonderful but I had to take her back.

Child Protective Services doesn't exist to help you with custody disputes, calling them in at the wrong time might adversely affect what you are trying to do. However, they may be a necessary part of the process if you need to prove a bad environment as part of the guardianship process. Your Atty will discuss this with you.

So involve an attorney before I call CPS? I don't want to rip them apart. I would love if I could logically speak to my aunt about all this but she is incapable of that kind of conversation. I would be using CPS as a means to prove to HER that she needs help, something no one else in our family (namely my dad) has not been able to convince her of.

that seems...unlikely...but I don't know the details. Coverage for the child exists regardless of the the grandparent's status. If she doesn't have any kind of health insurance, the child should still be eligible for Ohio SCHIP. First step is a call to their office:

http://medicaid.ohio.gov/FOROHIOANS/Programs/ChildrenFamiliesandWomen.aspx

and get more info.

 

Do you know when the child last had a medical checkup? if it hasn't been for a while maybe that is a way to open the door with the aunt - talk to her about the required medical checkup for school and ask for the insurance info. If there isn't any, then you can get her enrolled and get her an annual physical. Lack of access to medical care is another strike against the aunt retaining guardianship, so if the kid has no medical records - that's not good. Getting her under your guardianship for medical care might be another talking point with your aunt in making the case that she should go along with this.

Again she is incapable of talking about this with anyone and only sees these conversations as attacks.

I agree, but there has to be something more than just you don't agree with a parenting style. Abuse, unfit, living conditions, economic hardship, poorly/absent school, access to medical care, etc...are all things to consider and to put together a case for guardianship.

It is definitely unfit living situations. Anything else that the child has discussed has been mostly normal teenage stuff.

As far as I know Gerber Policies are life insurance policies and are whole life policies based on investment. I won't get into what I think of their substance (Hint: there aren't enough swear words) but they are only good if the premiums are continued to be paid. They should have paid out upon the death of your cousin if they were up to date (and don't expect a huge windfall here - there are many studies that show you pay more in Gerber premiums than you get back if the policy pays out).

 

There is something else your attorney will talk to you about and that is an attorney representative for the child. this comes up more often in hostile child custody cases, and honestly I don't know enough.

 

I know I don't have to say this, but remember be sensitive about this with your aunt. This is the last living traces of her daughter and she is going to be sensitive about that. No matter how much it makes you angry that she isn't a good parent, or that she is doing things wrong, a gentile touch is the most important thing here. If you come in with accusations she will only galvanize her will against you. you need to make her see the positives - that you can ease the financial burden, the kid will get better medical care, better education, and your aunt can finally step into the grandparent role of doing fun things and making memories and not having to be the responsible parent the second time around. you will take all the chores and the stuff she hates and she can do only the stuff she wants to do. It will remove everyone's pressure and stress. Focus on the advantages for everyone - don't kick in the door guns a blazing.

Indont know how I missed this post. So much to respond to...

I'll start by saying, I love this woman.

I do. She has just let things get out of her control.

I don't want to hurt her but it's going to happen - whether she comes to live with me or not.

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I think I will be looking for a family lawyer to talk to for this.

Question- if my aunt is willingly giving us guardianship- will that make things go easier?

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She is 13.

I don't see my aunt making this easy. She has already secluded them from the family. My dad is the closest to her and one of the few people she "let's in".

I wish there was an easy way to do this.

Somehow she has been removed from Medicare/aid because my aunt makes too much money from SS?

I don't fully understand how this has happened but there is definitly something not right going on here.

I think my aunt had a Gerber policy on the mom, but I have no idea if any of that is still in effect.

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This sounds like a really messed up situation. Sorry to hear you guys are going through this.

 

I know the answer to the first 2, not the third.

 

When I was 17, my parents and I moved to Hilliard and my school district (SWCS) found out about it and tried to kick me out of Westland (lol) for my senior year due to being in the Hilliard Darby area. Long story short, my parents gave custody to my at-the-time girlfriend's parents (for approximately 6 months until I turned 18). This allowed me to graduate with all the kids I had grown up with.

 

So yes, legal custody can be awarded willingly. It was not difficult, but we did have to appear before a judge, etc.

 

As far as number 2 goes, yes, a legal guardian can be put on your insurance. As long as you have the documentation to show they are a dependent, you are fine. Since this is a qualifying life event, you will not have to wait until open enrollment either.

thank you.

I have a situation that Im not sure how to approach and have lots of questions to ask before i even consider how to handle any of this.

It's a bit of a drawn out story, so bear with me.

My aunt adopted my cousin when we were all about 3-4 years old. She was a troubled child most of her life due to sexual abuse (edit for clarification, she was sexually abused by foster familys, not my aunt) and my aunt just generally not being a good parent (none of the family expected how bad she would be prior to adoption)

My sister and my cousin and I were basically sisters most of our lives. We went everywhere together. I tried everything i could to be a good role model for her.. but I failed. Her poor mind and heart were just so broken from her early life.

fast forward to my mid 20's when my cousin passes away from alcohol and medication interaction, leaving behind a 3 year old (whom my aunt has basically had legal guardianship of since birth and who this all will be about) and twin daughters whom are adopted by a family in the church she occasionally attended when she would try to get sober.

When she passed away, everyone wanted Nathan and I to adopt the girls, but Nathan didn't want to fight the battle of custody with the dad because he was abusive and crazy (my cousins live in boyfriend and dad of all the kids).. The tragic irony of this being dad died of drugs and alcohol maybe a year later. Lots of regret and pain in my heart about the whole situation.

Fast forward another 10 years.. We have watched my aunt get worse as a parent to my cousin daughter, whom she is the legal guardian of. I dont want to go into details, just know its enough that has had me on the fence about calling CPS multiple times, but more afraid that we would lose the girl to the system because none of us are actually blood.

(i will henceforth call her my niece, it's just easier because it's weird calling her my second cousin)

My aunt tells us all the time about how shes always having outburst and is snotty, and other things but anytime she stays with us, this is the absolutely not the truth. She's a normal kid. She does everything we say, she's respectful (mostly) she does chores, she walks the dogs, she grumbles about brushing her teeth. She's a kid.

Things at her home are deteriorating; to the point that my dad has finally agreed its time for CPS to be called.

I have had her for two weeks now, long enough to know what exactly she is like on a normal day to day basis.

My aunt has asked Myself and Nathan if anything were to happen to her if we would take her in. We told her yes.

The thing is.. I think we should take her sooner. My aunt is 67. Her house is in shambles (like almost literally) It is not an environment that a child should be in.

So here are my questions.

1)Can legal custody be awarded willingly to another Legal guardian without much fuss?

2) As legal guardians, can the child be put on our insurance?

3) Can we Adopt, instead of guardianship?

Im so overwhelmed with how to handle this, and i know i need to talk to legal counsel about any of this before preceeding, but id like to iron out my thoughts before moving forward.

Given that you have a 1/2 Ton truck, why not buy a more normal format lightweight travel trailer and get more everything or a similar price (except cute/retro-ness).

 

Something like this at least with a single slide out, full height ceiling, way more storage etc:

 

https://www.jayco.com/products/travel-trailers/2018-hummingbird/17rk/

 

https://www.rvtrader.com/dealers/Camping-World-of-Georgetown-3052828/listing/2018-Jayco-HUMMINGBIRD-17RK-122418711

 

I grew up camping, parents started with a pop-up which isn't much better than a cabin tent in my mind. You have the security of a soft-top jeep, still have water intrusion / heavy wind concerns, and they're often squirrely to tow with the tiny length and lightweight.

 

They went from a pop-up camper, to a 23' travel trailer (no slide outs), to a 27' travel trailer (with 1 "manual" slide out), to a 30' travel trailer (dual power slideouts), to a 34' travel trailer (dual power slideouts). They will likely upgrade to a 5th wheel soon.

 

What I can offer is that my parents have had very good luck with Jayco, and have owned Prowler, Starcraft, and Terry in the past. Jayco quality and warranty seems to be the best. Find a model/floorplan you like, and google it to find one slightly used.

This is actually why we started shopping. We know the truck can easily pull something bigger, but we dont want to go TOO big, but i think something bigger than the teardrop may be ideal for us.

 

If I were going to buy one now, this is one I would buy because it has damn near everything I want:

https://dayton.craigslist.org/rvs/6204922282.html

 

I like this style of the T@B's however, we cant use that. We need the extra room to make the bed queen size because you lose all the headspace witht he kitchen on the outside.

Curious where you were able to rent the T@B from? My wife and I have been a fan of tear drop campers for a long time to pull behind my Wrangler. The T@B and T@G models are some of our favorites, but they are a bit pricey to buy and retain their value pretty well.

THIS!! How much and where from. would love to rent a camper for a weekend.

Haydocy on Broad! They were FANTASTIC!!

A weekend rental for the T@B was $435, + a 500 deposit.

We loved the tab, but nathan is 6'3" and the peeing sitting down thing isn not his style :gabe:\

Thank you everyone!

Your points have been great.

Nathans parents lived in a HUGE beautiful Winnebago for years as they were ohio snowbirds. They offered it to us about 3 years ago when they finally just built a unit in the campground they stayed at every year.

Nathan turned them down.... Needless to say.. i wanted to shoot him. He brought it up the other day like "HAHAH.. remember when my parents offered the camper and i said no??.. that was stupid of me wasnt it.. "

Me::fuuuu:

Anyways.. The T@B seems so ideal for us.. and they have a version that is a Bit bigger, that might be perfect for us..

Weight wise they are pretty fantastic for weight. We have the big V8 in the truck and it was basically no issue whatsoever to haul it.

Landwise- we don't have anyh, however, where my dad lives, we can easily store it at his house. (we may even share it with him)

I grew up camping, my sister and I slept ina tent many nights in our backyard.. I love camping.

I married a man who firmly believes we have zero reason to sleep in the wilderness under fabric.

A few weeks ago I finally convinced him to go camping with our subie friends. While I love him dearly and know he said he would go sleep in a tent to appease me, he would, unbeknownst to himself, be a miserable cuss the whole time.

I made the executive decision to look for a small camper for us to tow and sleep in.

We rented a T@B for 400 for the weekend and took it camping and then up to Norwalk for summer NATs

HE LOVED IT.

I've never seen him sleep so relaxed and I think it was because of the wilderness.

Before we even left norwalk he was shopping for campers. Nathan does NOT shop for ANYTHING unless it's a car or car parts.

We went last weekend to Watkins glen for six hours and found that the entire track is a a camp ground and you can't just setup a popup near the track and walk around

This forced us to basically hoodf it all over looking for an ideal location or sit in the hot bleachers.

We walked among so many campers and RVs... and now I think we have more questions about what we want and what we can expect as owners.

1) what do you own and where do you store it.

2) how much is typical storage?

3) what are features that you never use vs use all the time?

4)is it like owning a boat where the only good boat is someone else's?

5) what is depreciation like?

6)what are typical problems that happen?

We really like the idea of a track camper. Something we can pull with the RAM, and park while we go out and about sight seeing or putter around the track(s)

However the idea of a full RV could allow us to get a golf cart, for big tracks, but won't allow us to have have a small vehicle with us unless we tow one... but would also allow us to bring the dogs with us.

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Carbon wheels, he's getting old.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Or just owns too much shit

He is starting to sound like my grandfather saying the same things over and over

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Imgur actually says you're not supposed to 3rd party embed photos in their Terms of Service,

Thier entire business model is based on this, that doesnt make sense.