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Orion

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Everything posted by Orion

  1. i love how i hear that if aliens do show up, theyll more than likely be advanced, and have grown past war and violence. well, here we are, more advanced, and more prone to self destruction than ever.
  2. problems with your sidekick? get out of here!!! is this the part where i say "i told you so"? <grin> j.k man, that kinda stinks. i hear the mpx is cool. id let it ride for a bit before i stressed out about updating it. i know a few who have them, and they seem to really like their version of windows mobile. if youre bound and determined to update, you may want to get in touch with microsoft. there have been hardware revisions to go along with the new windows platforms, and the moto may not be able to run it.
  3. 9:17 and "ice cream man" is on the radio.
  4. is it just me, or is retro extragay?
  5. does this mean youll stop banning the cool people, and start banning the retards again? <grin>
  6. Orion

    My future Z

    some purple looks good. some purple looks gay. purple, inherited from your mom, looks gay. btw, if i was going to be getting a car from my mom, i would be smart enough not to tell a bunch of folks i dont know on an automotive forum where im not only not well known, but not very well liked, either. so, good on ya for doin what you do. props. but this thread has a whole lot of stupid in it, and most of it is coming from you.
  7. Orion

    Coltboostin?

    this is definately a single A ball game.
  8. jack b and chitty-chitty. anthony being bigger than chris. the bling brothers (clay, buck and i = three pimp ass black cars rollin on chromies) martelle and the yellow gti and his huge cat, fletcher. jimmy dean and the monster wrex. doug and the bolt on turbo kit that netted him about 20 hp in his grandam. nitroubird and his perennially broken green monster with the butterfly wheels and yellow accessories.
  9. sex sells. thats very clever marketing right there. props.
  10. Orion

    a bk holiday

    those are snowflakes. berto, hip this chick to the snowflake.
  11. damn, thats wacky. i noticed the same thing! i didnt even have to brake hard or anything. just "brrrap!". wierd.
  12. snowflake? racing at the plain city? the wingless wonder (plus 6 passengers) vs. the stoned goat from a dig?
  13. lmao @ this whole thread! occasionally, i love being on cr.
  14. so, retarded kids wrap presents better than you. and retarded kids make fun of you for going up the down elevator at the movie theater? sounds like retarded kids own you, joe.
  15. i have my lights up. and a tree. and lots of other decorations. you guys can come over and kick it for a while. if you dont have any spirit, you can borrow some of mine.
  16. Orion

    funny read

    As much as I wish I had written that (because it's great storytelling), this didn't happen to me. I read it on another forum, but had to share. Hilarity ensues. My girlfriend is fond of saying that my last words on this earth will be something akin to "Well, I have out done myself once again." No doubt you will see this true story chronicled in a Lifetime movie in the near future. Here goes... Last weekend I spied something at the pawn shop that tickled my fancy. (Note: Keep in mind that my "fancy" is easily tickled.) I bought something really cool for my girlfriend. The occasion was our 3rd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my sweet girl. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Taser gun with a clip. For those of you who are not familiar with this product, it is a less-than-lethal stun gun with two metal prongs designed to incapacitate an assailant with a shock of high-voltage, low amperage electricity while you flee to safety. The effects are supposed to be short lived with no long-term adverse effect on your assailant, but allowing you adequate time to retreat to safety. You simply jab the prongs into your 250 lb. tattooed assailant, push the button, and it will render him a slobbering, goggle-eyed, muscle-twitching, whimpering, pencil-neck geek. If you've never seen one of these things in action, then you're truly missing out -- way too cool! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was so disappointed. Upon reading the directions (we don't need no stinkin' directions), I found, much to my chagrin, that this particular model would not create an arch between the prongs. How disappointing! I do love fire for effect. I learned that if I pushed the button, however, and pressed it against a metal surface that I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs that I was so looking forward to. I did so. Awesome! Sparks, a blue arch of electricity, and a loud pop! Yipeeeeee! I'm easily amused, just for your information, but I have yet to explain to her what that burn spot on the face of her microwave is. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, etc., etc. There I sat in my recliner, my dog looking on intently (trusting little soul), reading the directions (that would be me, not the dog) and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood target. I must admit I thought about zapping the dog for a fraction of a second and thought better of it. He is such a sweet pup, after all. But, if I was going to give this thing to my girlfriend to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? Was I wrong to think that?? It seemed reasonable to me at the time... So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, Taser in the other. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water... All the while I'm looking at this little device (measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference, pretty cute really, and loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries) thinking to myself, "No friggin' way!" Friggin' way --- trust me, but I'm getting ahead of myself. What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.. Those of you who know me well have got a pretty good idea of what followed. I'm sitting there alone, the dog looking on with his head ****ed to one side as if to say, "Don't do it buddy." Reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny lil' ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad (sound, rational thinking under the circumstances, wouldn't you agree???) I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it... (Note: You know, a bad decision is like hindsight --- always 20-20. It is so obvious that it was a bad decision after the fact, even though it seemed so right at the time. Don't ya just hate that?) I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY SH*T!!!!! I'm pretty sure that Jessie Ventura ran in through the front door, picked me up out of that recliner, then body slammed me on the carpet over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, soaking wet, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position. The dog was standing over me making sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to himself, "Do it again, do it again!" (NOTE: If you ever feel compelled to mug yourself with a Taser, one note of caution. There is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You're not going to let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. Then, if you're lucky, you won't lodge one of the prongs 1/4" deep into your thigh like yours truly...) SON-OF-A-***** that hurt! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at this point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My glasses were on the TV across the room. How did they get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. give or take an ounce or two, I'm pretty sure. By the way, has anyone seen my testicles? I think they ran away. I'm offering a reward Miss 'em; sure would like to get 'em back... Never Touchin' the Taser Again!
  17. badass. rear disk brake conversion is fairly expensive, im guessing?
  18. lmao @ ken. oh, and "werd!"
  19. i agree, but fuck the dolphins, too.
  20. Orion

    Fort Benning

    brian, that may be the greatest boot camp "faq" ever. well done.
  21. my car is newer, faster, and costs less. dammit brian!
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