jon has a dart board. every week, he tapes the names of random cr inhabitants to it. on monday, he stands as far away as his dorm room will allow, and then throws a dart. whichever name he manages to hit becomes this weeks target of opportunity. sometimes, it takes jon a day or two to hit a name, because he has to squeeze the dartboard in around skipping class, getting drunk, and making "in the v.i.p." videos. if jon was a little shorter, and a little more rotund, his last name would be "belushi".