Mensan

YOU BEGIN TO LIGHT UP. AS YOU DO, YOU HEAR A DEEP VOICE FROM INSIDE THE SHACK. DEEP VOICE - "BAD IDEA" WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO? >FIND FRANK >COLLAPSE TO GROUND AND BEGIN TO CRY >USE MAGIC >USE CHARM >USE WIT >USE KATANA

YOU APPROACH THE SHACK AND HEAD TOWARD THE SATCHEL. YOUR SEARCH OF THE SATCHEL REVEALS: JOURNAL CANDLE KEY DIME BAG LIGHTER WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO?

GREG - "YOU FEEL THAT, FRANK?" DARK FIGURE - "SURE DO. SOMETHINGS WRONG; MY TESTICLES HAVE RETRACTED. THAT CAN'T BE GOOD..." GREG - "RUN UP AHEAD, CHECK IT OUT" DARK FIGURE - "COOL. STAY HERE." FRANK RUNS AHEAD. YOU LOSE SIGHT OF HIM. WHILE HE IS GONE, YOU ENSURE YOUR KATANA IS BY YOUR SIDE, AT THE READY. LOOKING TO YOUR RIGHT, YOU NOTICE A SMALL SHACK, WITH A WHITE DOOR. OUTSIDE THE DOOR IS A SATCHEL. YOU CALL TO FRANK, AND DO NOT HEAR A REPLY. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO?

GREG - "YOU MUST ALWAYS BE LOYAL" DARK FIGURE - "SHIT YEAH, TOTALLY DOABLE." GREG - "SWEET. WHERE'S THIS PORTAL? ALSO, WHAT SHALL I CALL YOU?" DARK FIGURE - "THE PORTAL IS DOWNTOWN, NEAR ACE HARDWARE. YOU CAN CALL ME FRANK." AS YOU TRAVEL TOWARD THE PORTAL YOU FEEL A GENERAL SENSE OF UNEASE. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO?

UNABLE TO PERFORM ALL OF THE ABOVE

GREG - "I'M INTRIGUED BY YOUR REQUEST. WHAT IS IT YOU NEED MY HELP WITH?" DARK FIGURE - "I WAS TOLD YOU COULD LEAD ME TO THE PORTAL" YOU THINK TO YOURSELF, "WHAT PORTAL? THIS GUY SEEMS CRAZY, BUT I AM INEXPLICABLY DRAWN TO HIM." GREG - "I WILL HELP YOU. I HAVE BUT ONE DEMAND" CHOOSE DEMAND: >YOU MUST ALWAYS BE LOYAL >YOU MUST PAY ME, AND I MEAN FUCKIN BIG TIME >YOU ARE NOW MY SEX SLAVE >YOU MUST REMOVE ALL OF YOUR CLOTHES, AND REFER TO ME AS 'HIGH LORD GREG' >{CUSTOM; ENTER TEXT}

GREG - "HELLO" THE DARK FIGURE APPROACHES AND APPEARS TO BE PLEASED BY YOUR GREETING. DARK FIGURE - "I'M GLAD I FOUND YOU. I COULD USE YOUR HELP" .

STEALING A CAR IS NOT POSSIBLE AT YOUR INTELLIGENCE LEVEL. YOU CONTINUE TO TRAVEL WEST. A DARK FIGURE APPROACHES.

YOU THROW CRAYON TO THE EAST. YOU BEGIN YOUR TRAVELS WEST. GREG - "THAT'S A GOOD BOY!". DOG CHASES CRAYON.

LOOKING AROUND REVEALS A ROAD. THE ROAD TRAVELS EAST OR WEST. YOU NOTICE A LARGE DOG APPROACHING.

YOU MIS-SPELL WIELD BECAUSE YOU HAVE 0 INTELLIGENCE.

YOU DISPOSE OF KEYS AND WEILD KATANA. .

YOU EXIT THE HOUSE TO FIND CAR .

YOU CAN NO LONGER HOLD BACK YOUR VOMIT. YOU SPEW DIRECTLY IN THE FACE OF TRENT THE STEPDAD. GREG - "BOOYA SHITBIRD!" TRENT THE STEPDAD - "LOL, YOU ALWAYS WERE PRETTY FUNNY, EVEN FOR A DUMBASS. HERE ARE MY KEYS, NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE".

YOU BURST THROUGH DOOR USING THE KATANA. OUTSIDE OF THE DOOR YOU SEE TRENT THE STEPDAD. TRENT THE STEPDAD - "WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST OPEN THE DOOR, YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKER?".

YOU EAT TACO. YOU IMMEDIATELY REALIZE THIS WAS A MISTAKE AND FEEL THE UNMISTAKABLE URGE TO VOMIT. .

SEPPUKU ATTEMPTED. YOUR ABOVE AVERAGE FORM DOES NOT ALLOW PENETRATION BY KATANA YOU ARE ABOVE AVERAGE.

TACO AND CRAYON ARE PLACED IN POCKETS. UNDER BED YOU FIND KATANA .

BEHIND DRESSER YOU FIND CRAYON AND OLD TACO .

YOU STRUGGLE WITH YOUR WEAKNESS TO TURN ON THE LIGHT. IN THE ROOM IS A DRESSER AND A BED. THERE ARE A CLOSED WINDOW AND DOOR .

YOU AWAKEN IN A DARK ROOM. THERE IS A FAINT GLOW FROM A NEARBY WINDOW. YOU CAN HEAR SOUNDS THROUGH WHAT MUST BE A DOOR.

THANK YOU GREG! YOUR CHARACTER IS CONFIRMED AS FOLLOWS: 32YO MALE STRENGTH INTELLIGENCE CHARM XXX AGILITY WIT XX SPECIAL

COMMAND UNKOWN GREG! PLEASE DISTRIBUTE 5 STAT POINTS (X for RANDOM): STRENGTH INTELLIGENCE CHARM AGILITY WIT SPECIAL

WELCOME GREG! PLEASE DISTRIBUTE 5 STAT POINTS (X for RANDOM): STRENGTH INTELLIGENCE CHARM AGILITY WIT SPECIAL

WELCOME ADVENTURER. BEFORE WE BEGIN, LETS LEARN MORE ABOUT YOU. PLEASE ENTER YOUR INFORMATION BELOW: 1.YOUR NAME (X for RANDOM) 2.YOUR AGE (X for RANDOM) 3.YOUR SEX (X for RANDOM)