An old man turned ninety-eight 
 He won the lottery and died the next day 
 It's a black fly in your Chardonnay 
 It's a death row pardon two minutes too late 
 And isn't it ironic... don't you think   
 It's like rain on your wedding day 
 It's a free ride when you've already paid 
 It's the good advice that you just didn't take 
 Who would've thought... it figures   
 Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly 
 He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye 
 He waited his whole damn life to take that flight 
 And as the plane crashed down he thought 
 "Well isn't this nice..." 
 And isn't it ironic... don't you think   
 It's like rain on your wedding day 
 It's a free ride when you've already paid 
 It's the good advice that you just didn't take 
 Who would've thought... it figures   
 Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you 
 When you think everything's okay and everything's going right 
 And life has a funny way of helping you out when 
 You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up 
 In your face   
 A traffic jam when you're already late 
 A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break 
 It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife 
 It's meeting the man of my dreams 
 And then meeting his beautiful wife 
 And isn't it ironic...don't you think 
 A little too ironic...and, yeah, I really do think...   
 It's like rain on your wedding day 
 It's a free ride when you've already paid 
 It's the good advice that you just didn't take 
 Who would've thought... it figures   
 Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you 
 Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out 
 Helping you out