Just finished shaving my chest and boy does it look and feel great. Next, I will need to oil my hairless chest up before hitting the crossfit gym and doing some burpees, kettleball swings, and box jumps. Functional movements, people, and no fucking chest hair. Tonight, I think I'll take my supermodel wife to a nice restaurant wearing a stylish pair of To Boot New York double monk straps, a deep V, and a dollop of pomade to rock my pompadour.