Some nice quotes about Houston from the Texans page.
"Not that I expect anything less from the citizens of Houston, which is the worst city in Texas. You gotta work real hard to be the shittiest city in Texas. I mean, Dallas is right there, and Dallas is everything wrong with American urbanity. But Houston is worse. It's hotter than red death. Traffic is shit. Everyone is dumb. Going to the mall food court counts as fine dining. No one goes to Houston on purpose. It's Phoenix with humidity. One day a giant mosquito swarm will consume the city entirely."
"Houston is what would happen if The Blob swallowed Atlanta, rolled sideways a few hundred miles, and then slowly rotted in the middle of a poisoned bayou. It's hot, totally disordered, crime-ridden, flat, and strapped into some kind of shape by ring roads like an obese man stuffed into five layers of Spanx. Please note that I like it a lot!"
Pretty funny stuff.