I can understand how negative thoughts about your situation (not yours, but anybody's) can lead to a spiral of negative thoughts that seems very hard to get out of. When somebody has been in a situation that goes on and on, and the mistakes that they made have to be faced on a daily basis for a long period of time it can be very hard. The good thing is that you can learn some valuable life lessons from all of this that most people don't at your young age. I can tell you from personal experience that even though it is hard for you right now because you are still facing all of the negative consequences, it will end, and it will get better. You just have to take advantage of the time and lessons that you have right now, and make sure not to forget them when it's all over. I am Catholic, so I believe that God will always give you opportunities for happiness. If you don't believe, it's ok, just understand that eventually the universe will give you opportunities to do what you want to do and you can be happy and have the life you want as long as you work for it. Also, I know this is a long post, but trying times like the ones you are going through, or the one you saw on the road today really can put things into perspective, for me it helped me really appreciate my family and my true friends.