The time - this past Saturday.
The place - my house.
The event - last minute poker night organized by my wife.
The players - my wife, me, 3 friends, and 2 other couples.
First game was $20 buy-in. Things went reasonably smoothly. Some bad calls. Some bad cards. Ended up heads up for the $100 first prize. After an hour of heads-up, we split the money so everyone else could get back in for the second game.
The second game went down pretty much the same path as the first. Some good times, some good beer, some good snacks... the norm.
Then, IT happened.
Due to how we drew cards for positions, a buddy of mine was sitting to my immediate left. About 2 minutes before IT happened, he had put in a pinch of Skoal Straight. For those two minutes before IT happened, his rubbing at the poker table had gone mostly unnoticed. That is, until IT happened.
In no more time than it takes a top fueler to reach the 60' mark, my buddy accomplished all of the following:
1. Got a God-awful look on his face.
2. Tilted his head back about 6 inches.
3. While bringing his head back towards the table, tilted it directly towards me.
4. Shut his eyes...
and
5. Sneezed Skoal all the fuck over me, my chair, my floor, my wall.
and ran to the bathroom.
There is a 5 page story as to how it all got cleaned up, but that will be another day.