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Best craigslist post i've ever seen.....literally fell off the chair


optimoprime

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http://nashville.craigslist.org/mcy/4410595160.html

 

 

 

 

way too good, this guy has got to be funny as hell to ride with.

 

"2009 Yamaha YZF-R1 motorcycle for sale. It has the yellow / black factory plastics that did have the janky ass flame decals but that stuff is for lil' kids IF YOU FEEL ME. Those vinyls were removed and the fairings plasti-dipped a matte black. Plastic dip is removable so if you a soft ass kid who likes flame decals, you can pull the matte finish and have the gloss undercoat again. This precision machine has been babied too! Shift light on the tachometer has been set to 7k RPM. That's right! If you buy this thing, you can be the lucky mo-fo to run it up to its 13,750 red line and pop that cherry. Be careful though, this thing is hella fast. You been watching the MotoGP races? Yamaha has been KILLING it the last 5 years. "Meeeeeh Honda's have superior gyro's meeeeeh" GTFO. That ain't doin nothin for ya. If you like GSXR's with gel seats, take yo candy ass back to Whole Foods. This ain't yo bike. This is my 10th bike, and hands down has the most torque and satisfaction per degree throttle rotation. The cross plane crank makes the 2-Brother slip on pipe SING! It's like hearing a baby's first words, this thing will make you cry; it's beautiful. If you're looking at this 09, you're a smart man. There has been no major revision to the R1 between 09 and 14, so you know you're getting the equivalent of a show room bike. Check wikipedia! That ish is legit. Bike also has some flush mounts and a fender eliminator on it. Take some of that noise away from this fine ass 2 wheeled bullet. Ain't got time for noise. Your girlfriend ever get in your face talking noise? Drop her. Get this bike and girls will be falling over they feet trying to spit game at you. You could take your new girl on the back of this thing to the lake to meet up with your boys. Girls love the lake. They also love fast ass bikes. Go ahead and get you that new girlfriend. Fast. This bike is also fast. Check out the pics! It's at an airfield! That's because this thing FLIES. Not literally, it's a metaphor. This bike is FAST. It's also efficient. This thing gets 40+mpig. That's right, 40+ miles per Imperial Gallon. We getting fancy. You'll know that from reading the owners manual. It comes with an owners manual. And 2 keys! I bet your car doesn't even have 2 keys. 

Check out the pics! That's the bike next to a Dodge 600 Turbo drop top. You ever seen one of them? Thought not. So fresh... look at the interior! That a/c spits Ice Cubes. 

Scroll over some. That's it next to a big ass ford truck! You might have seen that truck on the front page of the Lebanon news paper. That's cause I parked it in a ditch the other day when it was real icy. You gotta be intuitive like that. Dodge ain't for sale. I might give you that truck tho for $20k if the hundreds is crisp. I doubt it though. Real talk. 

This bike has also been garage kept. You ever been on a date with your girl friend and got caught in the rain? I feel you. Drop that ho. This bike has never been in the rain. You know what that means? I take better care of this bike than you take care of your girlfriend. That's FACT. You see what I'm getting at here? This is the bike you need. Only reason I'm selling this thing is because I got promoted after my employer saw that I was powerful and successful; How did I display that you ask? Because I drove this master piece of a bike to work and ERY Body had mad respect. Earn Mad Respect. Get a Promotion. Buy my bike. Title in hand. No trades. 

615-476-57o2 Call or text. Text is preferred."

 

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