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Bring yo' own fifth


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In the next couple of weeks, I'm going to throw a "Bring your own fifth" party. I'll provide soda/juice etc to mix with whatever you bring if you want, and there will be plenty of shot glasses and shit. To get in, you MUST have a fifth, or, I might have a few extras here that you can buy off of me. Not looking for too many people, but just figured that I'd let you guys know about it.
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No. SHe wont.

 

Knisley is a bitch and spoons with Marc, plus he isn't invited because only people who can drink more than four shots without getting sloppy and pissing all over the place can come.

 

Brandon, there should be enough vagina there to satisfy a purebred horse. Another reason why Marc and Knisley aren't invited, I wouldnt want any malerape taking place that would distract all of the vagina tearing.

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Alright, This is going to be some time in early august, I'll get a date as soon as I can.

 

Fifths that I will have on hand for purchase by slackass douchebags that can't bring their own:

 

-Tito's Vodka: Best vodka ever, seriously. 20-25$, depending on if you're a douche or not

 

-Some rums, Probably one or two each of Parrot bay and the Captain. 25$

 

- One bottle of Jack (Only for proven hardcore badasses, Vomiting is strictly forbidden) Have to see what it costs me.

 

If you cant tell, those prices are higher than store bought because you should ALL BRING YOUR OWN GOD DAMNED FIFTH, IT'S CALLED A BRING YOUR OWN FIFTH PARTY.

 

Shots of Everclear will be four dollars apiece, and I decide when you've had enough, see sentence in capital letters above.

 

There will be several cases of each of the following for mixers: Coke, Diet Coke, Diet Pepsi, 7up, Dr pepper, lemonade, etc.

 

the first person to volunteer to bring enough cups to kill a dog gets a free shot of the Clear. First come, first serve.

 

I'll probably have a bottle of hypnotiq for the Hottest chick there, voted on by Berbs, Brandon, and Myself. (Brandon qualifies because he might be the only one of you that I've met to make sound judgements on a woman's physical appearance.)

 

Feel free to bring as many hoes (that aren't ugly) as you feel like, But if anyone brings more than ONE dude I don't know/like, his ass will be thrown out promptly. You can stay if I like you, but your friend isn't coming in. I'm trying to keep house destruction to a minimum.

 

Also remember, You are NOT getting in the door unless you bring a fifth. NO BEER. Don't like it? Don't come. The rest of us will be wayyyyyyy to fucking drunk to give a shit.

 

The last several parties I threw (last summer) had frequent naked (Female, don't worry Marc, you won't be missing anything) wrestling matches. Bringing your girlfriend (or pregnant wife, eric) is probably not a good idea, unless you and her are comfortable with her joining in.

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  • 3 weeks later...

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