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just some funny stories


supldys

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i've been collecting some hilarious stories from work figured I'd share a couple. One day im hoping to write a book, but i need to do some better writing first smile.gif

 

Older gentleman comes in the other day, was apparently shopping at the kroger next door from the bag he was carrying. Browses around the store for awhile then asks for help. He asks for spark plug wires for his 1981 Delorean DMC. No listing in the computer, go to the book next...nothing. The guy asks me to maybe call autozone, see if they have any numbers i can cross over. not a big deal, i call up the autozone on main street in hilliard. Ask the employee on the phone for wires for an '81 Delorean. The response i get "Who makes that?"...moment of silence...I respond with the obvious:

"Delorean"

"Yes, but who makes it?"

"Delorean, its a Delorean DMC"

"Oh, GMC"

"No! Delorean...you know the back to the future car"

"oh, I dont even have that in here"

Click

I let the customer know he'll most likely have to try a specialty parts dealer, he asks me to call another competitor...at this point I notice the mound of mozzarella cheese forming on the counter that this individual is dropping out of his mouth and from his pouch of cheese. yes, he was eating shredded cheese straight from the pouch while talking to me and spilling it EVERYWHERE. Then he proceeds to swipe all the excess off the counter, directly onto the floor, like nothing happened.

I kindly let the man know I can not help him, he will need a specialty delorean parts dealer.

Moral of the story: Do not rudely eat in a non-food establishment, you piss off the help, and never ever shop at autozone :D

 

Got a phone call the other day from a woman, definitely not of native tongue, asks for flex tube.

"Like exhaust tubing?"

"no, like plastic"

"...." silence

"here is part number: 12345whatver"

Type it in, brings up the product:

"oh, wire loom"

"yes, mechanic says i need"

"ok, its $whatever for the pack"

"is there a warranty?"

"...." silence

"like 90 days, a year?"

"....on wire loom?"

"yes"

"no, ma'am, there is no warranty on wire protector"

"ok, i will call around"

Moral of the story: Dont ask dumbass questions, you piss off the help.

 

Funny little side note, theres an anti-rust chemical thats actually saved in the computer under the description "Cli-de-rus"

 

Heres another good one, another phone call.

probably a middle-aged gentleman, sounds like may have been raised in a parentally casual environment (ie whitetrash) Asking about axles for his 90something sentra or stanza, cant remember. I ask him if it has a limited slip differential or not, because it makes a difference on the CV shafts.

"No its just a front wheel drive japanese piece o crap" (make sure to read his with a redneck accent) smile.gif

"Well right, they didnt make an all wheel drive that year, but do you know if it has limited slip or not?"

"well i guess i can crawl underneath and take a look"

".....Well the diff is in the transaxle, best way is to bring in the axle if you're not sure"

"nah, ill be able to see if theres a driveshaft going to the rear diff"

"....its FWD, it wont have a rear diff"

"well its got to if its got that slip"

"no, its the diff in the front for the FWD"

"oh, why the heck would they do that for a front drive car?"

Moral of the story: Take it to a garage!

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We had a guy angry once that we didnt make his lasagna fresh... as in start cooking the noodles and making the sauce and baking it when he phoned it in. Hde ordered a pan of it and came to pick it up thirty minutes later. When he found out it was prepared that morning, he left angrily. :rolleyes:
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I agree nearly all Autozone employees are total "check out girls." No offence to anyone who happens to work there that frequents this board. I'm sure I've just never had you help me find something.

 

Evan

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Guest FBody Addict

actually one of the guys at autozone here in gahanna actually knows about cars

i was incredibly amazed at this discovery, as i had been going to napa or advance auto parts because they have out of work mechanics working there

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Its the one in Gahanna that got me to worst of all so far. I had a relatives car break down down in Marietta Ohio and we called all over trying to find parts. Well the Autozone in Gahanna said they had the part. We asked again and the manager went back and got the part and held it in his hand while he put it on hold for us. So I drove the 120 miles to get it and when I got there the fucker was like "Duh you must have called the Advance across the street because we don't have that part." He pissed me off pretty bad because the guy said that while he was looking right at the screen that had my name on it with the part number of the part that he put on hold for us that day. Fucking assholes

 

Evan

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The Delorean isn't gonna be listed in ANYBODY'S catalogs, hell there were only a few thousand made. But if I remember right, the Eagle Premier has a version PRV engine. Or just a UNIVERSAL set would work. Too bad he was a jerk!

 

Wanna bet he went 88mph, and is actually his own father?

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