desperado Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 Yes, I bet he does wish that. And we all know thats all the farther it goes, wishing. But it takes all kinds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenny Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 You're going to get owned. Again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devils Advocate Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 This is going to be great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iwishiwascool Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 You could have poked at my wanna be metro faux-hawk, my excessive use of two cent words to make myself feel smart, my four banger POFS of a car, etc, etc... but your, and I quote "Ability to chew somebody out", which is "Better than most", compelled you to chose my screen handle of all things... which is, in fact, not the song your parents were listening to when they mistakenly conceived you in the back of that 1972 Chevy pick up. The suspension barely able to resist the occasional thrusts from your marshmallow of a dad, Your mom picking at her remaining tooth, impatiently waiting for the inevitable climax, daddy-to-be drenched in a marathon worth of sweat grunting and grimacing, only slightly muffling the sweet sounds of the Eagles. "WELL, SHEIT!"[in a thick southern drawl] Moms exclaimed, breaking the monotony. She continued, "Fer Why'd you have to go and do that". The marshmallow, startled and embarrassed at his own incompetence muttered, "Sawry" avoiding the disgusted glaze of your mother as she sponged away the [probably more qualified] gametes that dripped from her nether regions. Nine months later, the gremlin of a baby sprung from that formerly dripping crotch... only to be dropped, head side down, a few moments later. What a life that puffer would lead. Filled with cream puffs and self dilution, he would take on that world believing people would surely to be convinced of his superiority if only he “assaulted” them with accusations of alternative sexual preference mixed in with alpha male chest pounding threats of physical abuse. The marshmallow coddled his future silverback with contemptive regret, wishing he could just jump back 9 months and pull his lil pecker away from the moist hole a few seconds earlier. “A curse.” He thought. “A curse.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miller Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 hahahahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jelloman4571647545499 Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 lmao awesome Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
99BlownYellowGT Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 This was kind of like bringing a knife to a gun fight.Hell this was more like bringing a popsickle to a gun fight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desperado Posted October 4, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 I am still trying to figure out how when I was born in 71 how it would be possible to be conceived in a 1972 Chevy Pickup. Not that I am real attentive to details, but that sort of blows a big hole in the story. Knowing that Ken is no where that creative, I figure that it's actually HIS story of conception, and being a bit embarrassed of it he trys desperately to pass it off to someone else. And besides, mama lost all her teeth long before I was conceived. So you need to keep guessing. As far as your POS cars, I don't make habit of poking fun of cars, if it's what you want, that's fine. The fact that I see a 4 to 1 ratio of women driving TSi's doesn't mean alot to me. Neither does the fact that many of the ones I see driven by me have some funny rainbow sticker on the back, but I am not sure if that is relevant either. I do know that I have never seen one go 6's though, since that does bear some sort of importance to you. Though I am not sure why. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim1647545497 Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 wait a second i dont know you guys but doesnt everyone release cars a year earlier then the year as if a 2005 GTO brought out in 2004 :-x so a 72 would be released in 71.. and you will come back with well 9 months so it would be 72 bullshit well if they fucked in janurary then they had you before 72 :-x but pay attention to what you are saying next time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orion Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 Originally posted by Got Turbo?: wait a second i dont know you guys but doesnt everyone release cars a year earlier then the year as if a 2005 GTO brought out in 2004 :-x so a 72 would be released in 71.. and you will come back with well 9 months so it would be 72 bullshit well if they fucked in janurary then they had you before 72 :-x but pay attention to what you are saying next time!shut up, noob. the jokes no fun if we have to explain it. ken, that was graphic, and disgusting. im dockin points for making me gag. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iwishiwascool Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 Mile Stone 1: Two years had passed since the puffer was thrust into this unwelcoming world. The Marshmallow sat in the back of the trailer in a quiet contemplative trance, blankly staring at the fuzzy black and white screen. The bag of potato chips lain empty next to him, another victim of his coping mechanism. Momma sat in the kitchen/living room stuffing the puffer's lil swollen face with anything she could find. Anything to keep him from crying that rang out nearly the entire length of the day and night. This was, of course, the reason he had become such a junior marshmallow, but it was all moms could do to keep him quiet. She heard a muffled commotion outside accompanied by excited whispers. She peered out to see A tow truck adorned with the familiar "Buds AutoBody and Towin'" on the side. (Marshmallow Sr. Had just been fired from there 4 months ago.) The back wheels slowly lifting off the ground, the 1972 Chevy Pickup, which Sr. was so proud of, looked as if it was preparing to launch. She shrieked and screamed. The towers froze. Then continued more quickly now unconcerned with noise. Moms ran to the back of the trailer (Not to imply that the trailer was long enough to extend more than a few strides, nor uncluttered enough to make said strides fully extended). The commotion hardly stirred Sr. out of his daze. When he finally made it to the door, he could only weep as he saw his last remaining joy bouncing down the gravel roadway. When he first bought the car 2 years ago brand new from the show room, he truly believed things were going his way. He had a brand new car in the first month of its introduction. He earned a mechanics wage that could more than afford the burden of a shiny new Chevy. He just new that he would finally be able to escort a woman who allow him to fuck her. And he did. He did not anticipate a baby in the budget. Or having to move out of his parents home. Or the inordinate amount of food and diapers the lil puffer would consume. "STEAKUM" the puffer screamed. Moms turned in shock. After 2 long years the puffer spoke his first word. Ecstatic that the puffer was showing signs of brain development, she nearly forgot about the latest blow to the family. "Steakum, steakum" he screamed in almost demanding fashion. A flimsy door slammed in the back of the trailer as a potato chip bag crinkled. [ 04. October 2004, 11:24 AM: Message edited by: iwishiwascool ] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desperado Posted October 4, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 I must say that we have been quite busy atempting to come up with this shit. But you really want to know the funniest part. This fucker is waisting ALL this time, and effort, trying to come up with this shit, and for what, to make fun of me. I OWN YOU BITCHES, for no other reason that you are concerned enough with me that you go to the lengths that you do to attempt to make me look foolish. Here's the thing, you have tried so hard that you have only made yourselves look stupid in the process. Ironic ain't it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iwishiwascool Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 Milestone 2: A long 5 years passed. The impromptu family faced many challenges and was defeated by nearly every one. At 7 years old, the puffer was now over one hundred and fifty pounds. His mother had falling into the habit of feeding him into an early grave. Habits he would unfortunately carry on into adult hood. A retreat even further into the rural country gave them refuge from the cold world. Tax collectors, repo men etc wouldn’t have a chance in finding them. It was a brisk October day. Birds overhead formed V patterns in escape of forthcoming winter. Patches of of oranges and reds highlighted the green tapestry that covered the valley. Dried fallen leaves crinkled under their feet. It was one of many hunting outings in which the marshmallow subsidized the food budget. Sr. Mellow put his hand on the Puffers shoulder and began speaking in a somber tone [Though still plagued by that thick southern drawl] "Son, you know some things." he began. "Seein as how yur sure to be a lard ass, on top of the ab-so-lutely fucked up values that that woman is fillin that head of yurs with, you should know how to fight back when kidsr makin fun of you. I reckon it'll work till you’re at least 30." He swiftly turned, fired his weapon indiscriminately at some rustling brush. A rabbit scurried away the moment the bullets stopped. The puffers ears still ringing, he could barely hear what his father was about to say. "When kids make fun of you, alls ya gotta do is say: 'well yur the dum one fur takin the time to make funa me, sucker'." Between the ringing in his ears and the rumble of his hungry belly he could barely conceptualize what he meant. It wasn’t till later than night, in his inflatable bed, that he internalized that lesson that he would forever used when confronted by people smarter than he. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iwishiwascool Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 since you probably dont get it, smart kid: You're the puffer. Your dad is a marshmallow. Your mom is a whore for shiney pick up trucks. I'm at work. I got paid more in the time it took to write these two lil short stories than you make in a day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
99BlownYellowGT Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 Ken,Maybe a career in writing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desperado Posted October 4, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 Originally posted by iwishiwascool: since you probably dont get it, smart kid: You're the puffer. Your dad is a marshmallow. Your mom is a whore for shiney pick up trucks. I'm at work. I got paid more in the time it took to write these two lil short stories than you make in a day.I realize who you are referring to. And like I said, you are taking the time, you sit there wondering what to say next. Hoping and praying that I will post so you can swing from my dick and make dumbass remarks about everything I say. You calim I nutswing, What do you call the shit that you are doing? You and a few of your homo buddies have made a life out of thinking up shit to say to me. When you run out of shit, you repeate the same old shit over and over again, once again because your not creative, or original, I am figuring that if I did a web search, this shit is all off someones else's board that you are copying and pasting on here. As far as the money thing, believe me, if you were doing that well, you would be driving a lamborghini and not a TSI. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iwishiwascool Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 1. Ive never used the term "Nut swinger". Ever. I have never cared what people’s alignments are. 2. I assure you none of what I said I have repeated. Nor will you find it elsewhere. Do try. It's funny that you are the one accusing me of being unoriginal. Hypocritical indeed. 3. My girly car is about 5 seconds closer to your 6-second goal than either of your cars. 4. Where is your "lamborghini" then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Pomade Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 Originally posted by desperado: This fucker is waisting ALL this time, and effort, trying to come up with this shit, and for what, to make fun of me. I OWN YOU BITCHES, for no other reason that you are concerned enough with me that you go to the lengths that you do to attempt to make me look foolish. Ah, I get it now, you're a master of the reverse-ownage maneuver. Step one: Start a thread in The Kitchen. Step two: Get owned by the person you called out. Step three: Claim victory, boasting to all your cleverness in how you suckered someone into owning you. Brilliant! You are an attention-whoring, martyring personality disorder. Treatment of choice is 50mg of Arsenic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trouble Maker Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 damn venomoz i new you was goin to post to and tri to ownn mi i rul cus i know you where goingg too do that haha you all my bitches bow down to my superior inteluct all nutswinggin off of iwishicouldbecool cuz he be on rc with you go back to ur board and talk about how u think u owned me but you will cry to sleep at night becuase you know i owned you by pulling you into my elaboratt trap i rule. did i mention that i rule all of you with how smart i be? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desperado Posted October 4, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 Originally posted by iwishiwascool: 1. Ive never used the term "Nut swinger". Ever. I have never cared what people’s alignments are. 2. I assure you none of what I said I have repeated. Nor will you find it elsewhere. Do try. It's funny that you are the one accusing me of being unoriginal. Hypocritical indeed. 3. My girly car is about 5 seconds closer to your 6-second goal than either of your cars. 4. Where is your "lamborghini" then?1. I have problem believing that, but ok. 2. OK, I will conceed this to you as well, seems you must have went out and bought a Verbal Advantage clone then. You got jipped. And I didn't bring up the 6 sec thing, you did over in the Tech section, where you once again gayed up my thread with your bullshit. Still don't see how I am being unoriginal, I am simply commenting on what you have said. Other than the opening remark to get you in here. I didn't want to gay up my thread in the Tech Section with this bullshit. 3. Are you completely convinced of that? 4. I wasn't the one that said I made as much in the time that it took you to type that out as I make in an entire day. But with your statement, and your vast intelect, it couldn't have taken more than 10 minutes of your time to put that together, so that would mean that you are pulling down $1,747,200 a year. Now that being said, since you make in 10 minutes what I make a day what the fuck are you doing driving a TSi??? Once again, you have made a stupid comment, and been called on it. I would love to see the check stub for a weeks wages from you are proof. But I don't figure that will happen. Maybe I should bring this up in every post you make, somehow linking it in to what you are saying. Seems that's ok for you to do. Better yet, I figure I will just say FUCK YOU, try again. And leave it at that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iwishiwascool Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 Milestone 3: 3 years later. A certain social hierarchy existed... even in the trailer park. The kids who lived in the doublewides, or had hole-less shoes, or whose parents actually owned a car stood at the top. Dolly Maye was a blonde lil bumpkin that didn’t look like she belonged in the hell hole the puffer called home. He doublewide sat in the center of the park, nearest the office, with the best view of the mud hole. The abandon lot next to the office was home to the community’s "Playground"... if you could call it that. A single tree reached out of the ground. Its bark was scarred from the abuse of kids with nothing better to do combined with an early contempt for life. It looked as sad to be alive as many of the community’s residents. From one of the trees knotty branches hung a single truck tire (coincidentally from a 1972 Chevy pick up). Approaching one hundred seventy lbs., the Puffer avoided the aperture of the tire swing as if it was a vegetable. He watched from afar in desperate wanting at other kids swung back and fourth on the old tire. Every day he became more determined to try the swing. Late on a sweltering summer day the sun was relinquishing its attack and retiring on the horizon. Once again the Trailer park kids had ventured on an expedition through the woods minus one puffer. He saw his chance. He crept up to the swing carefully peering around every corner and checking every window for judging eyes. The coast was clear. The puffer ran at the tire with all his might. As he dove through the tire it secured itself around his waste like a cummerbund. He swung around, unaware of the embarrassment that was yet to ensue. He squirmed and wiggled trying to free himself. The tire seemed determined to hold him prisoner. Exhausted, hungry, embarrassed at his own stupidity… he gave up. Six year old Dolly had just woken up from her after noon nap. She peered out her window at a most amusing sight. Like a jelly doughnut The puffer was lodged in the tire swing with a look of absolute resignation. She slowly snuck up behind him. When she was within reaching distance she extended her tiny finger at his plump hindquarters. With a shot of adrenaline she pushed the finger forward into the mound of pudge. It depressed. The Puffer shrieked. She pulled her finger away. Seconds later the pudge its natural position while gelatinously jiggling. She giggled and repeated. Unable to confront the assault, the puffer could only scream with embarrassed rage. The lil jewel of the trailer park had singled him out and prodded his insecurity. He thought back to his fathers lesson: “alls ya gotta say is: 'well yur the dum one fur takin the time to make funa me, sucker'.” He bleated out his fathers words. Dolly, at only six years old was unable to understand exactly what was said, but knew it to be insulting. She burst into tears and ran away. He lie in the swing alone again, again repeating the words of his father. “I reckon it'll work till you’re at least 30.” He was as happy as he could be in the position that he was in. “At least I know I can fight back… till I’m at least 30!” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desperado Posted October 4, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 Oh yeah, VenomSS, you did bother to post and comment about something that you had not part of didn't you. It don't take a crystal ball to figure out who will post in here, and what will be said, it will be the same shit as always. And what's really funny is that being said, they will still post, even though not doing so proves me wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iwishiwascool Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 Since you truely arent smart puffer: The moral of the story is... if you call someone out, and they post: you arent owning them. Ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mensan Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 I am somehow reminded of that video where the guy is getting the shit kicked out of him by that woman. The guy keeps swinging, and keeps getting knocked back down. Finally, his buddy drags him away, laughing at the beating he recieved. I think it's in the pics and vids section. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenny Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 Was his pops trailer made out of server cases? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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