funny e-mail I recieved from a guy at work

[1qwk767]

THE GUYS' RULES/MANLAWS

 

 

AT LEAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN

 

 

 

FINALLY, THE GUYS' SIDE OF THE STORY.

 

(I MUST ADMIT, IT'S PRETTY GOOD)

 

 

 

WE ALWAYS HEAR "THE RULES"

FROM THE FEMALE SIDE

 

 

 

 

 

NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE.

 

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

 

PLEASE NOTE... THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED "1"

ON PURPOSE!

 

 

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

 

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT.

 

YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN.

 

WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN

 

YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

 

1. SUNDAY SPORTS, IT'S LIKE THE FULL MOON

 

OR THE CHANGING OF THE TIDES.

 

LET IT BE.

 

1. SHOPPING IS NOT A SPORT.

 

AND NO, WE ARE NEVER GOING TO THINK OF IT THAT WAY.

 

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL

 

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT.

 

LET US BEN CLEAN ON THIS ONE;

 

SUBTLE HINGS DO NOT WORK!

 

STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!

 

OBVIOUS HINKS DO NOT WORK!

 

JUST SAY IT!

 

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION

 

1. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO.

 

SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

 

1. A HEADACHE THAT LASTS FOR 17MONTHS IS A PROBLEM

 

SEE A DOCTOR

 

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6MONTHS AGO IS ANADMISSABLE IN AN ARGUMENT.

 

IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

 

1. IF YOU WON'T DRESS LIKE THE VICTORIA'S SECRET GIRLS, DON'T EXPECT US TO ACT LIKE SOAP OPERA GUYS.

 

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBRABLY ARE, DON'T ASK US.

 

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THEM MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, THEN WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE

 

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING

 

OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE.

 

NOT BOTH.

 

IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

 

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

 

1. CHRISTOPER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE.

 

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS

 

PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR, PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT, WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

 

1. IF IT ITCHES, IT WILL BE SCRATCHED

 

WE DO THAT.

 

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY "NOTHING" WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG.

 

WE KNOW WHEN YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE, BESIDES WE KNOW YOU WILL BRING IT UP AGAIN LATER.

 

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, ECPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR.

 

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE.... REALLY.

 

 

 

1. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS TOPICS AS BASEBALL, THE SHOTGUN FORMATION, OR GOLF

 

1.YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES

 

1. YOU HAVE WAY TOO MANY SHOES

 

1.I AM IN SHAPE, ROUND IS A SHAPE!

 

1. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT

 

1. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING.

 

PASS THIS TO AS MANY MEN AS YOU CAN- TO GIVE THEM A LAUGH

[87GT]

Pretty funny man =)

[Farley]

....awsome

[dragknee66]

Thats some good shit

[Guest Wunna Dig Race]

Nice mark