Jump to content

I'm giving up my man-card, just realized I'm a little Girl.


Benner

Recommended Posts

I'm officially revoking my own man-card cause I just screamed like a little girl. Here it is

 

http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj32/Formula98/ManCard.jpg

 

So anyway I was outside earlier throwing some bundles of brush away. Came in and was laying on the couch when I felt something move under my shirt by my belly button. I figured it was a June bug or something since they're always around the bushes I was cleaning out. So I lifted up my shirt and there was a fucking spider a "MONSTER SPIDER" about the size of a quarter spread out right over my belly button. I screamed like a little girl and flicked it off. It could've killed me, Luckily my estrogine fueled scream startled the big son of a bitch and I flicked him off and killed him before he could do likewise to me.

 

took some pics before I finished the bastard off.

 

 

http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj32/Formula98/stupidspider.jpg

 

http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj32/Formula98/stupidspider2.jpg

 

http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj32/Formula98/stupidspider3.jpg

 

http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj32/Formula98/stupidspider1.jpg

 

 

 

Summary: I'm a little girl

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hmmm... I'm gonna have to say that screaming like a girl upon finding large arachnids in ones belly button is quite excusable. You can keep you man card, for now.

You're wrong. Mail in your man card.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

............................................________

....................................,.-‘”...................``~.,

.............................,.-”...................................“-.,

.........................,/...............................................”:,

.....................,?......................................................,

.................../...........................................................,}

................./......................................................,:`^`..}

.............../...................................................,:”........./

..............?.....__.........................................:`.........../

............./__.(.....“~-,_..............................,:`........../

.........../(_....”~,_........“~,_....................,:`........_/

..........{.._$;_......”=,_.......“-,_.......,.-~-,},.~”;/....}

...........((.....*~_.......”=-._......“;,,./`..../”............../

...,,,___.`~,......“~.,....................`.....}............../

............(....`=-,,.......`........................(......;_,,-”

............/.`~,......`-...................................../

.............`~.*-,.....................................|,./.....,__

,,_..........}.>-._...................................|..............`=~-,

.....`=~-,__......`,.................................

...................`=~-,,.,...............................

................................`:,,...........................`..............__

.....................................`=-,...................,%`>--==``

........................................_..........._,-%.......`

...................................,

Link to comment
Share on other sites

LOL ... I was playing xbox a couple years back and felt a tingle on my forehead, but in the midst of an intense gaming session I refused to take my hand off the controller. Than I felt it move to top of my nose, still ignoring it. Next thing I see a rather large wolf spider right on the tip of my nose. I froze first, than dropped my controller and swatted at my face. Worse part, the little bastard went flying but managed to live, and I saw him scurry off. I kept "feeling" it crawling all over me the rest of the night.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm ok with most spiders. But I've got a vicious sense of personal space when it comes to creepy crawlies. If one of them gets near me, I'll flick it away. If one gets ON me, it's D-E-A-D dead. No mercy.

 

For those that are squeamish, I've got a good story for you. A long time ago I was living ata house that had a backyard shed for tools and such. In the middle of winter I went into the shed to get something, I don't remember what though. I opened the door and a spider, like some sort of tiny Tarzan, swung down and hit my face. That was shock enough, but when it landed on my face it suddenly discovered a nice warm place to hide. Yup, it ran right UP my nose!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm officially revoking my own man-card cause I just screamed like a little girl. Here it is

 

ManCard

 

So anyway I was outside earlier throwing some bundles of brush away. Came in and was laying on the couch when I felt something move under my shirt by my belly button. I figured it was a June bug or something since they're always around the bushes I was cleaning out. So I lifted up my shirt and there was a fucking spider a "MONSTER SPIDER" about the size of a quarter spread out right over my belly button. I screamed like a little girl and flicked it off. It could've killed me, Luckily my estrogine fueled scream startled the big son of a bitch and I flicked him off and killed him before he could do likewise to me.

 

took some pics before I finished the bastard off.

 

 

http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj32/Formula98/stupidspider.jpg

 

Spider

 

Spider

 

Spider

 

 

 

Summary: I'm a little girl

 

A common orb weaver. I think Neoscona species. Don't know the specifics. Too many varieties for a quick observation. They're a nocturnal species and consume vast amounts of nighttime insects. They are practically harmless to humans. They generally hide at night, taking their webs down; even consuming them if they aren't finding enough insects to eat. During the day, there are a few species of wasps that will attack and paralyze them to bury in a hole with an egg. Keeping the spider alive and paralyzed until its young can eat the fresh "meat".

 

I've seen these spiders quite a bit bigger than the one you have pictured when I lived in Texas. I've seen these things build webs big enough to cover whole bay windows and I've even drove a truck through one that spanned across an entire dirt road. The fucker was huge.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

nice size spider. i was out frisbee golfing yesterday and stumbled upon this nice web.

 

http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d106/2001sentrase/p_00046.jpg

 

Another common specie. The Grass Spider. They build those huge webs with a small funnel on the end. They're generally very shy and easily scared but with a blade of grass, etc and a light touch, you can fool them into coming out. The outer web isn't sticky and they make up for it with sheer speed once something's caught. They're pretty harmless to humans. I have a HUGE f'n web attached to a plastic pool and the side of the house right now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...