88lx5oh Posted February 18, 2009 Report Share Posted February 18, 2009 http://www.fmylife.com Today, my group of friends, my girlfriend, and I were playing 'never have I ever.' My girlfriend's turn came up and she went with, 'Never have I ever had an orgasm.' FML 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CRed05 Posted February 18, 2009 Report Share Posted February 18, 2009 Today, My boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1qwk767 Posted February 18, 2009 Report Share Posted February 18, 2009 Today, I told my parents how grateful I am for having them in my life and that not many kids are as lucky as me. My mom texted me after I went out 10 minutes later: "Are you ok? You seemed depressed earlier." FML Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramsey Posted February 18, 2009 Report Share Posted February 18, 2009 Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her exiting her room....my electric tothbrush in her hand. FML Today, the girl I love and I went to visit my parents out of state for the first time. My father grinned and acknowledged that she was a "keeper", at which she laughed and said we were "just friends". I was going to propose to her next week. FML oh and this is like the 3rd time fml thread has been made. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skinner Posted February 18, 2009 Report Share Posted February 18, 2009 today Ryan post a repost of a repost. F his life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iwashmycar Posted February 18, 2009 Report Share Posted February 18, 2009 oh and this is like the 3rd time fml thread has been made. :nod: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LJ Posted February 18, 2009 Report Share Posted February 18, 2009 Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramsey Posted February 18, 2009 Report Share Posted February 18, 2009 Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LJ Posted February 18, 2009 Report Share Posted February 18, 2009 Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aesthetic_Influx Posted February 18, 2009 Report Share Posted February 18, 2009 Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML LMAO! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrblunt Posted February 18, 2009 Report Share Posted February 18, 2009 LMAO! +1. I lol'd on that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smokey Posted February 18, 2009 Report Share Posted February 18, 2009 while this is a repost of a repost....it's still totally worth it. This site could be the best way to waste time on the internet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CRed05 Posted February 18, 2009 Report Share Posted February 18, 2009 today Ryan post a repost of a repost. F his life. HA! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy Posted February 18, 2009 Report Share Posted February 18, 2009 Today, I walked into my room to find my mom had made my bed and done my laundry, for which I thanked her with a hug. I laid down on the bed, stretched out my arms and realized my vibrator was still under the pillow where I had left it. FML LOL LOL LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drewhop Posted February 18, 2009 Report Share Posted February 18, 2009 Today, I told my boyfriend that I was afraid our future children would be fat and ugly. He reassured me, saying that he was sure our spawn would take on after him. FML Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
l36tols1 Posted February 18, 2009 Report Share Posted February 18, 2009 Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiji ST Posted February 18, 2009 Report Share Posted February 18, 2009 while this is a repost of a repost....it's still totally worth it. This site could be the best way to waste time on the internet. Definitely a great time filler. -Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad proceeded to warn me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NTHER91 Posted February 18, 2009 Report Share Posted February 18, 2009 Today, my grandmother told me that not only does she not accept me as a homosexual man, but that she feels my relationship with a little person is "spitting in God's face." FML Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashley Posted February 19, 2009 Report Share Posted February 19, 2009 Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her exiting her room....my electric tothbrush in her hand. FML I love this site, but most of them are fake... one of my co-workers is the one that made up the toothbrush one and submitted it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CRed05 Posted February 19, 2009 Report Share Posted February 19, 2009 Last night, I changed my spark plugs and now its misfiring worse...FML Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Bruh Posted February 19, 2009 Report Share Posted February 19, 2009 Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend, he is 6'2 and i am 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farkas Posted February 19, 2009 Report Share Posted February 19, 2009 Last night, I changed my spark plugs and now its misfiring worse...FML MAF? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CRed05 Posted February 19, 2009 Report Share Posted February 19, 2009 MAF? Its a brand new MAF, I double checked everything. My guess is its a bad plug since one of them did fall off my table before I put them in. I drove the car today so that when I get home I can see which one isn't firing and replace it. Hopefully that will fix it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farkas Posted February 19, 2009 Report Share Posted February 19, 2009 Its a brand new MAF, I double checked everything. My guess is its a bad plug since one of them did fall off my table before I put them in. I drove the car today so that when I get home I can see which one isn't firing and replace it. Hopefully that will fix it. You are running new coilpacks, I'm assuming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KillJoy Posted February 19, 2009 Report Share Posted February 19, 2009 Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML KillJoy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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