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DERP Enterprises Public Service Annoucement


Alex L.

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There has been some concern and speculation lately about the condition of DERP Enterprises for the 2010 fiscal year. Some say we have reached a plateau, while others say we are going nowhere but up. I feel as though we are running around in circles and trying to place the blame on each other, while in reality we should be banding together and creating and putting a plan of action for the next decade into action.

 

As DERP Enterprises head of Mongolian operations, I have created this thread for the people who are the foundation of DERP to come together and discuss DERP. Where is DERP going? How can we keep DERP from drifting towards a negative slope? Where will DERP be in the years to come?

 

For the investors:

 

Here is a graph of our revenue for 2009:

 

http://na.iiaa.org/IN&V/011708/small-business-graph.gif

 

As you can see, DERP's revenue less than $100k was 21% worse (30% better, 51% worse) compared to the $100k-$500k revenue slot, where there was only 43% worse compared to the 33% better. Both the $100k and $100k-$500k brackets represent 33% of the company's interest.

 

Conversely, the $1-$5million portion of our revenue actually had 24% better (51% better compared to 27% worse) along with our $5mil. and over bracket which experienced an 11% overall bettering (46% better, 35% worse). As you can tell from these figures, DERP is going up, and going up in a big way.

 

In closing, I would like to present this flow chart to you all:

 

http://www.dprudder.com/Home_files/Str_Mkt_Business_Chart.png

 

The circular shape of this graph is a metaphor for how DERP's development has and always will work. Our in-house market research feeds into operational planning, which goes directly into consumer research, which then goes back into our market research.

 

What does this mean for you? DERP is going places. DERP is going to great places. We at DERP would like to include you in on this upward progression. I hope this has provided you with a better explanation of what DERP is, and where DERP is headed.

 

Yours in love, trust, and brotherhood,

 

Horatio Sheeba

DERP Enterprises CO.INC.

Head of Mongolian Operations

 

http://yourgen.com/temp-images/1/141/comic-beware-125384171862004.gif

Edited by Alex L.
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As DERP's VP Of Enviromental Services, I can promise that the the utmost care is being put into our 2010/2011 enviromental protection plan.

 

Our new Dearborn plant is being build with a renewable energy subsystem, and a return to grid solar array. At DERP we are commited to providing our investors, and mother earth with the best possible growth going forward.

 

Do let me know if you have any questions,

 

Führer Von Otrich,

VP Of Enviromental Services

DERP Enterprises.

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Please, let us keep the useless banter down so we can discuss DERP. This is only for the betterment of not just our nation, but the world as a whole. As you can see by the vast network of international associates that we are beginning to possess, DERP is expanding it's horizons to encompass a broad spectrum of worldly people into the corporation.

 

DERP: Not just for the country; for the world.

 

Yours in love, trust, and brotherhood,

 

Horatio Sheeba

DERP Enterprises CO.INC.

Head of Mongolian Operations

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Here at DERP Canada:

 

Pinapples are growing, maple syrup flowing.

 

Money is being made, and the action plan of fighting global cooling is in full effect.

 

Maurice Richard out.

DERP Canada

Head of Canadian Operations

Overseer of Pineapple Production and Maple Syrup Harvesting

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These are not trade secrets, rather innovative ideas we are sharing with potential investors, employees, and correspondents alike.

 

DERP: Here for you, your country, the world.

 

Yours in love, trust, and brotherhood,

 

Horatio Sheeba

DERP Enterprises CO.INC.

Head of Mongolian Operations

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As CEO of DERP enterprises, it is my job to unify all the corperate centers across the world and to inform the public of all growth and future plans for DERP. Current growth rates are climbing at a staggering rate and we plan to expand in the near future. Although are products are becoming more ecologically friendly, we still have huge steps to make in order to release in the United States. While functioning perfectly in Mongolia and Canada our U.S. program is on the rise. We plan to release not only our well know DERP products but also a brand new product new for the U.S. release. While we can not release ant specifications or information on our new product at this time, we garentee that it will be on par with our current products' quality and function with up to 20% more efficient.

 

 

Dirk Fergouson

DERP Enterprises CO.INC.

CEO

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There you hear it, straight from the CEO's cocksucker. However, not only will we be functioning at a 20% greater efficiency, we will be seeing at least a 40% spike in productivity.

 

Mr. Richard will concur.

 

Horatio Sheeba

DERP Enterprises CO.INC.

Head of Mongolian Operations

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