Miller Posted February 21, 2010 Report Share Posted February 21, 2010 (edited) Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) – Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers “duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters,” according to police officials. “Something just went wrong,” said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. “Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong.” The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, “growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats,” decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event “in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats.” “In fact,” said the organizer, “motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it…ergo, they should stop.” According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960’s era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting “you’re murderers” to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began. “They peed on me!!!” charged one activist. “They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me ‘La Trene’, and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!” “I…I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather jacket, and he…he didn’t even care. I called him a murderer, and all he said was, ‘You can’t prove that.’ Next thing I know he forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and would not let me off, because his girl friend was out of town and he said I was almost a woman.” Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers “farted on their heads.” Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed “surprise” at the allegations. “That’s preposterous,” said one high-ranking member of the biker organizing committee. “We were having a party, and these people showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome.” When confronted with the allegations of force-feeding the activists meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters, and ‘farting on their heads,’ the organizer declined to comment in detail. “That’s just our secret handshake,” assured the organizer. http://glossynews.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/crazy-man-tied-to-tree_01.jpg Edited February 21, 2010 by Miller hmm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted February 21, 2010 Report Share Posted February 21, 2010 LOL!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darksrt4 Posted February 21, 2010 Report Share Posted February 21, 2010 oh that is great. hey got to stand up for your cause sometimes... These ppl were so willing to ruin someones day but wasnt to happy to have theirs ruined. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nurkvinny Posted February 21, 2010 Report Share Posted February 21, 2010 http://www.columbusracing.com/forums/showthread.php?t=76232&highlight=preposterous Still funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRTurbo04 Posted February 21, 2010 Report Share Posted February 21, 2010 REEEEPPPPOOOSSSTTT FAIIILLUURREEEE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ponyjr1647545514 Posted February 22, 2010 Report Share Posted February 22, 2010 It serves those pricks right. It is one thing to politely express your feelings toward animal cruelty. Throwing dye and calling people is plan rude, and inappropriate. Those people got what they had coming. Are you really going to do something like that at a biker rally? are you that stupid! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crossle Posted February 22, 2010 Report Share Posted February 22, 2010 Extremists deserve it, voice your opinion....fine, but don't impose your opinion on people if you aren't ready to handle the consequences. I hope no one gets charged so that those people re-think their actions in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tbutera2112 Posted February 22, 2010 Report Share Posted February 22, 2010 lmao at you people who think this shit is real Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
87GT Posted February 22, 2010 Report Share Posted February 22, 2010 It is like that episode of South Park with the home school kids and the spelling bee. Lets duct tape him to the flag pole! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tractor Posted February 22, 2010 Report Share Posted February 22, 2010 I'm not sure I can quit laughing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darksrt4 Posted February 22, 2010 Report Share Posted February 22, 2010 FAKE!! what! holy F-bomb i suck at life! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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