becoming an executor...

[evan9381]

Sort of a wierd question, but i have no clue where to start.

 

At some point im gonna have to have the talk with my parents about what they want done towards their later days. My mom has made mention of it, but i havent talked to my dad about it...frankly, its an awkward topic, and i have no clue how to really approach it.

 

I dont think either of my parents have any plans laid out. My moms made mention of some LI she has, but thats about it. In order to write up a will or what they want done in the event something happens, do they have to have it done up by an attorney so its legit and there wont be a bunch of hassles afterwards? How much do attorneys charge to do something like this (ballpark)?

 

I know with my dads family history, men go fairly early, so ive been dreading having this talk, but with my moms side, its like theyre immortal, and i figured i could wait a little longer, but she just brought it up tonight, so i guess its time to get it over with and talk to my dad too...

 

Any useful information is appreciated

[Sully]

There are forms that can be downloaded and filled out. However, a family member's death brings out the worst in people generally within a couple months. I feel that it really is best to have an attorney do the will so that there is absolutely no outside interference. By that, I mean that the attorney will sit with your parents, in his office alone, and discuss their will. That way, no other family member can later say that someone talked them into leaving this item or that item to this person or that person.

You really would have to ask an attorney how much they would charge. There is a lot more to it than just making a will stating who gets what. Do they want DNR's? Do they want to set up a trust? Who is going to be the executor of their estate? It really can get pretty involved depending on how much they have in assets and what all the assets are.

 

Anyway, what it boils down to is making sure that their wishes are met and that no one can "fight it".

[evan9381]

There are forms that can be downloaded and filled out. However, a family member's death brings out the worst in people generally within a couple months. I feel that it really is best to have an attorney do the will so that there is absolutely no outside interference. By that, I mean that the attorney will sit with your parents, in his office alone, and discuss their will. That way, no other family member can later say that someone talked them into leaving this item or that item to this person or that person.

You really would have to ask an attorney how much they would charge. There is a lot more to it than just making a will stating who gets what. Do they want DNR's? Do they want to set up a trust? Who is going to be the executor of their estate? It really can get pretty involved depending on how much they have in assets and what all the assets are.

 

Anyway, what it boils down to is making sure that their wishes are met and that no one can "fight it".

 

thats the kind of thing i have no clue about. i know my mom doesnt have squat for assets, and i doubt my dad has much with some things he's been through/going through. i guess its more just finding out what they want done. just wierd to think about it @ 25. granted they may be around another 20 years, but who knows.

[carl1647545492]

A living trust could be a good idea depending on your parents situation at the very least will let you avoid probate taxes and give you power of attorney for your family.

[evan9381]

what do you mean avoid probate taxes?

[carl1647545492]

what do you mean avoid probate taxes?

 

Probate taxes are avoidable and a good thing to do (what a trust does) the probate court can tie up your parents property for months and its expensive with legal fees and time ect.

 

The Executor of the trust YOU can transfer all of the assets to the beneficiaries in a few hours without the interference of the court.

[HotCarl]

There are forms that can be downloaded and filled out. However, a family member's death brings out the worst in people generally within a couple months. I feel that it really is best to have an attorney do the will so that there is absolutely no outside interference. By that, I mean that the attorney will sit with your parents, in his office alone, and discuss their will. That way, no other family member can later say that someone talked them into leaving this item or that item to this person or that person.

You really would have to ask an attorney how much they would charge. There is a lot more to it than just making a will stating who gets what. Do they want DNR's? Do they want to set up a trust? Who is going to be the executor of their estate? It really can get pretty involved depending on how much they have in assets and what all the assets are.

 

Anyway, what it boils down to is making sure that their wishes are met and that no one can "fight it".

 

THIS. My step-dad's mother passed a few weeks ago (i called her my grandma but whatever) and his sister is a total and complete physcho bitch. Had it not been for my grandma's will and it granting both him and her executor he would've totally been screwed out of the estate. In some aspects he still is, he's not getting some family heirlooms (sp?).

 

If you have any sibling's, especially ones you dont neccessarily trust or think they could turn shady you NEED to get a will or written up by a lawyer. I dread the day my parents pass because of the way i think my brother will react. Goodluck.

[smokin5s]

http://www.legalzoom.com

 

As far as how to bring it up, that's a good question. For me it was easy because my one sister lives 2k miles away and my other sister is a crack adict, so my parents came to me about it after they spoke with their lawyer and had it all setup.

[SpaceGhost]

That shit is so hard to do, especially when you have a small child and you pretty much have limited choice of what family members get your kids with a million dollar trust if something happens to both of us. That process with a lawyer and family was hard enough. No way we could have used legalzoom.com. There were some tough conversations we had with family. Your situation may be different though. It sounds easy but until you actually "do" it especially for yourself you will find out otherwise. I hated every meeting and conversation we had with the lawyer and with family.

[Richard Cranium]

I went through some of this myself a couple years ago when my father passed away. If you're looking to get through that kind of thing without killing yourself in the process get a good lawyer involved. Ours was great, and it made all the difference at a time I when I couldn't focus on paperwork. She jumped through all the hoops for us and got everything squared away.

 

If you're asking more about funeral options/expenses this is a conversation you need to have with them now. Figure it out now, decide on a funeral home, and pay for it now if you have the money. You do not want to be making those kinds of decisions within a day or two of their passing.

[2highpsi]

1st of all, get stuff done as soon as possible. We never know when it's our time and fighting in probate court along with making decisions after losing a loved one sucks.

 

Find out where they want to be (cemetery wise)

Find out if they want a DNR

Look into POD (payable on death) accounts for banking etc and TOD (transfer on death) for real estate or securities.

Those are the cheapest to set up and don't require probate court.

Doesn't sound like you need to worry about estate tax. This year there is none anyways. Starting next year it's 55% on all assets OVER one million. So the first million in tax free. Doesn't sound like they need a trust. Trusts can be awesome, but for the average person it's a waste of money.

[Otis Nice]

1st of all, get stuff done as soon as possible. We never know when it's our time and fighting in probate court along with making decisions after losing a loved one sucks.

 

This. My parents both are decendents of people who have lived long lives. Just this month we celebrated my Great Grandpa's 100th b-day with him in which he did everything himself to get ready, got his own food, played his fiddle, etc. Man still lives by himself and rides a scooter around town. Insane.

 

That being said my parents sat down and did their will with their attorney quite a few years back. It's never too early.

 

I also want to add to what the others said about not trusting fam members. I won't get into detail but one of my aunts on my dads side (both grandparents had 5 kids so things get hectic) is a lunatic and when grandma passed away she thought she was entitled to tons more than she was and my grandpa is still alive! Have your parents get with an attorney and get things handled.

[Orion]

Sent you a pm with my phone number in it. I just had to go through this this year. No estate was necessary due to our careful planning, and that made things way easier. Call me and I will give you all the info I have. Trust me when I say that the info that I have gleaned will make things much easier for you.

[RS69]

Evan,

 

Give me my wife a call for help on your questions, she is an attorney that specializes in estate planning/probate. Her office is outside Galena. If you are interested, pm me and I can give you her number.