Craigslist "Gold Digger vs. Investment Banker"...

[2highpsi]

Found this on another forum and thought it was funny enough to share

 

Here is the gold digger vs investment banker craigslist posting in its entirety:

 

What am I doing wrong?

 

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful

(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.

I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at

least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind

that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think

I’m overreaching at all.

 

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could

you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around

200 – 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get

me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married

to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as

I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I

get to her level?

 

Here are my questions specifically:

 

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,

restaurants, gyms

 

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my

feelings

 

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

 

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east

side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have

nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead

gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story

there?

 

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows – lawyer, investment

banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they

hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

 

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for

MARRIAGE ONLY

 

Please hold your insults – I’m putting myself out there in an honest

way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front

about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t

able to match them – in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a

nice home and hearth.

 

it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial

interests

 

************************************************************

************************************

THE ANSWER

Dear Pers-431649184:

 

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully

about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.

Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your

bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I

see it.

 

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a

crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you

suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring

my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my

money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely

that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t

be getting any more beautiful!

 

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning

asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation

accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty

hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in

earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

 

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy

and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense

to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case

you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were

to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s

as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

 

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,

I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful”

as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to

believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K

hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

 

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then

we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

 

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.

Classic “pump and dump.”

I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of

lease, let me know.

[2highpsi]

http://www.columbusracing.com/forums/showthread.php?t=42720&highlight=craigslist+investment+banker

 

NM

 

I know i know REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEpost.... of a repost none the less

fuck it was from 07 and cant be bumped so here it is again

[oh8sti]

i liked it.

[Mojoe]

I could only read a little bit of it.

 

I hope she gets punched in the face by a bus.

 

 

How do these women think this is ok? Parent failure? Just pathetic. Round of applause for the guys reply.

Edited October 29, 2010 by Mojoe
Finally read the whole thing

[Pedro1647545510]

LOL. Nice.

[Richard Cranium]

Classic response. You just can't argue with intelligence, and a perfect example that looks aren't everything (I should know).

[04silvrz]

haha. wow.