Child Abuse?

[99FLHRCI]

As soon as I got to the part about the Bible, it was obvious this lady is probably a little nuts herself. If she thinks handcuffing her kid to a chair with a Bible is going to fix him, then she isn't fit to be a fucking parent.

 

If you can't control your kid, regardless of whether or not he is a dumbass, then take him to a boot camp or get some other external help. Seems like she did this out of despair, but that is no way to be a parent. And sure I'm only 22 don't know what it's like to be a parent blah blah blah, but this is my view. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out.

 

How do you control your kid these days? You can't spank them and you can't confine them. She took things away (grounded him) and he still found ways to get "toys".

[greg1647545532]

From the article it says that he was handcuffed from 6 am to 7pm, a whole 13 hours. Since he is 16 and going to school, a "week" is probably just Saturday and Sunday. Would you say that duration makes a difference in determining if this story is a case of child abuse?

 

Yes. If it were like a time out, I would look the other way. A couple hours so he could calm down, sure. But if he comes home from school and she busts out the handcuffs, that's not right. That's premeditated bad parenting.

[1fast5gp]

Child abuse doesn't have to be physical. Locking someone in a 6' x 4' room and handcuffing them to bed at night... that's mental abuse. If he was sent to juvi for shoplifting he'd be treated better.

That isn't child abuse, it is tough love. A little extreme, but still isn't child abuse in my book. I would rather have parents doing that, than not punishing their kids at all and not giving a shit.

[greg1647545532]

You honestly think this punishment will work? Personally I think it's just gonna fuck the kid up more.

[I Eat Rice]

Honestly we need more stern parents like this in our world. That way we wouldnt have so many fuck ups running around causing problems. I love the parents that put their kids in time out and all of that and as soon as they let the beast go he is back to doing what he did before. If I messed up when I was younger in public or not I got my ass beat back in line and if that didnt work my mom stepped up her game once we got home and out of the public eye. The kid messed up and the mom gave him a taste of what it would be like for him in county or in prision to try and scare him straight. He still got food, water, and trips to the bathroom, and was sent outside for physicial activity I really dont see much wrong with this situation.

[greg1647545532]

Crime has steadily been going down at the same time that spanking is going out of style. You need to stop thinking that the world is going to hell when it's not. Kids who got beat growing up end up beating their own kids, and the cycle repeats, but it's like my cousin says, beating your kids is the absolute laziest form of parenting anyone can do. It takes no brainpower and the smallest amount of time you can possibly spend with your kids. Smack them around and lock them in their room, then you can get back to watching the game, you know? It's the easiest way in every respect.

 

Real parenting is a lot harder.

[smokin5s]

Some of you people need to go hug a fucking tree... Nothing that woman did was over the line, she was teaching him what a jail cell felt like... When he broke the rules she took it a step farther to control him, tell me how different that is than solitary confinement?

 

Because of all the hippies is why my kids teachers teach them to call 911 when spanked and no wonder most of our youth is fucking disrespectful... We need to go back to people butting the fuck out and then just maybe our youth wouldn't be so god damn lazy.

 

Btw Greg you are full of shit when it comes to spanking.... At a young age kids are like dumb animals for the lack of a better term, they learn to not touch a hot stove cause owe that burnt... I won't touch that again. Not because they were put in a corner or sent to their room where they had every toy known to Man... I still remember my dad making me go pick out switches for a spanking or him dropping my draws and beating my ass no matter who was around, all it took was a few times of that and I was "yes sir"

[V8 Beast]

Sounds to me like she found the smallest room in the house to simulate prison. You hear a lot of stories about people in prison having nothing but their bible so that could be the reason for that. Then when he broke the rules he was treated worse, same as in jail... Way way way over the top for me, but that will be the kids life if they keep commiting crimes.

[greg1647545532]

Btw Greg you are full of shit when it comes to spanking.... At a young age kids are like dumb animals for the lack of a better term, they learn to not touch a hot stove cause owe that burnt... I won't touch that again. Not because they were put in a corner or sent to their room where they had every toy known to Man... I still remember my dad making me go pick out switches for a spanking or him dropping my draws and beating my ass no matter who was around, all it took was a few times of that and I was "yes sir"

 

Hey I've just got 3 kids, what do I know about parenting.

[TTQ B4U]

Kids who got beat growing up end up beating their own kids, and the cycle repeats, but it's like my cousin says, beating your kids is the absolute laziest form of parenting anyone can do.

 

I won't say the cycle necessarily repeats itself, but I would say it's likely. I do agree that there is a better way. Spanking is not needed.

 

It takes no brainpower and the smallest amount of time you can possibly spend with your kids. Smack them around and lock them in their room, then you can get back to watching the game, you know? It's the easiest way in every respect. Real parenting is a lot harder.

 

Well said. More people need to spend quality time with their kids as a family. The main problem with so many kids these days is the parents and lack of family involvement. 99.9% of Adults who have kids fail to realize the moment they found out the baby was growing inside mommy that life is no longer about them.

 

Some of you people need to go hug a fucking tree... Nothing that woman did was over the line, she was teaching him what a jail cell felt like... When he broke the rules she took it a step farther to control him, tell me how different that is than solitary confinement?

 

Your opinion, but IMO, she is a dumb parent in dire need of proper parenting skills. What she did is pretty sad whether you condone it or not, whether you see it as harmful or not. Pretty sad.

 

Because of all the hippies is why my kids teachers teach them to call 911 when spanked and no wonder most of our youth is fucking disrespectful...

 

You don't teach respect, you earn it. You don't teach respect, you teach children Who and What to respect. What this woman did is absolutely not conducive to earning her childs respect and it absolutely is not showing him the proper actions or behaviors to look up to or respect in life.

 

We need to go back to people butting the fuck out and then just maybe our youth wouldn't be so god damn lazy.

 

People as is all of us? the media? the authorities? seems to me like the problem with this boy was that the no one else besides his shit head mother was involved. Perhaps if he had someone to look up to and respect and to teach him how to act and respond to his own actions, he would be in a much better place with himself.

 

At a young age kids are like dumb animals for the lack of a better term,

 

I'm speechless. A CR First I know!

 

I still remember my dad making me go pick out switches for a spanking or him dropping my draws and beating my ass no matter who was around, all it took was a few times of that and I was "yes sir"

 

So you were taught respect through fear and that fear equals respect. I'll let Tilly chime in although I don't see him doing so here...but that's not what you'll find in any solid parenting guide or behaviorists teachings. You're actually living up to what Greg's first comments were in terms of the cycle repeating itself. There's a much better way.

 

Anyone who meets my 5 and 8 year old will get that. We are firm parents, but we teach who and what to respect in terms of people and especially behaviors. Our kids aren't perfect, but they are being taught proper behavior through example and through true leadership which is a skill very, very few parents have.

[oh8sti]

Should be in school

[I Eat Rice]

Crime has steadily been going down at the same time that spanking is going out of style. You need to stop thinking that the world is going to hell when it's not. Kids who got beat growing up end up beating their own kids, and the cycle repeats, but it's like my cousin says, beating your kids is the absolute laziest form of parenting anyone can do. It takes no brainpower and the smallest amount of time you can possibly spend with your kids. Smack them around and lock them in their room, then you can get back to watching the game, you know? It's the easiest way in every respect.

 

Real parenting is a lot harder.

Let me state that I am not for child abuse and I was not beat out of rage and hate as a child. I was spanked when I fucked up and you better believe that once everything was said and done whatever I got spanked for I never did again. The thought never crossed my mind, however, you just stick a kid in his or her room or in a corner, once they are let loose again they realize hell that was it, that wasnt that bad I even played my gameboy while I was in my room. They will not see the right and wrong in their actions as well as one who is more sternly punished. I am happy my parents raised me the way they did because it taught me to be far more respectful towards others than alot of my peers are today. I see this with alot of people in my generation and there are alot less well manored people my age than there are spoiled brats that have gotten everything they wanted and never had to answer to athority. Im sorry but there is no coralation between crime rates going down and spanking going out of style that is one of the most far fetched ideas I have read in a long time... I never questioned your style of parenting you did that yourself by feeling the need to prove yourself in your statements. Trust me your only 31 and have 3 kids you have alot to learn about parenting and I will be the first to tell you, you are no expert. No one is. The learning process goes on a daily basis and never stops. As far as the world and our country going to hell right now that is another topic and another discussion for another day.

 

Some of you people need to go hug a fucking tree... Nothing that woman did was over the line, she was teaching him what a jail cell felt like... When he broke the rules she took it a step farther to control him, tell me how different that is than solitary confinement?

 

Because of all the hippies is why my kids teachers teach them to call 911 when spanked and no wonder most of our youth is fucking disrespectful... We need to go back to people butting the fuck out and then just maybe our youth wouldn't be so god damn lazy.

 

Btw Greg you are full of shit when it comes to spanking.... At a young age kids are like dumb animals for the lack of a better term, they learn to not touch a hot stove cause owe that burnt... I won't touch that again. Not because they were put in a corner or sent to their room where they had every toy known to Man... I still remember my dad making me go pick out switches for a spanking or him dropping my draws and beating my ass no matter who was around, all it took was a few times of that and I was "yes sir"

I agree with alot of the things you say. The little kids are like dumb animals is a little of a streach but I do get what you are saying. They do not process rationalized thoughts like we do because their brains are not fully developed. Thus they have to feel that the stove is hot to know its hot, feel that the knife is sharp to know that it is sharp, feel the tough love of fucking up to know that they have fucked up, on and on and on. By sticking them in a corner and in their room does nothing because they can not rationalize what is going on and see the big picture like an adult can. My father thinks it should be mandatory for young adults to all go through time in the military because we have to many young punks running around that are the result of bad parenting and no teachings of what respect really is. I have to agree with him because from what I have seen so far in my time here on earth is that he is right.

[zeitgeist57]

The issues for this kid and his mom started YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRS ago. Handcuffing is a bad idea that was just made worse by the problems they already have.

[TTQ B4U]

a little of a streach but I do get what you are saying. They do not process rationalized thoughts like we do because their brains are not fully developed. Thus they have to feel that the stove is hot to know its hot, feel that the knife is sharp to know that it is sharp, feel the tough love of fucking up to know that they have fucked up, on and on and on.

 

Kids are not at all like animals. The mere fact that they are not fully rational or fully developed is exactly why you should not punish them with pain or force. No different than a puppy that pee's in the house. He's too young to associate an ass beating with his pissing. Puppies like kids will associate the punishment with the one giving it. Period.

 

Kids don't need to burn their hands or cut their arms to know consequences. Tough love doesn't mean physical pain or punishment. You can be harsh and stern without being physical. Taking away their toys/privileges is tough love. I for one know my two kids understand the consequences of both heat/fire and knives yet neither of them needed to experience them first hand to respect what they can do.

 

By sticking them in a corner and in their room does nothing because they can not rationalize what is going on and see the big picture like an adult can.

 

Sure they can. My kids sat on and still do sit on a stool in the pantry for punishment. Timeouts do work. The root idea is to provide them tempory separation from where the inappropriate behavior has occurred and to allow them time to cool off. They absolutely see the picture. Our kids hate time outs and have learned that whatever they do, my kids know mom and dad DO NOT get angry or loud or yell, we simply put them in time out. Part of getting a "rise" out of mom and dad is exactly what many kids acting up are trying to do. They play you and if you respond, you re-affirm that play.

 

I did it this morning with my son who refused to make his bed. That's his choice and by not doing so, he is choosing to sacrifice play time on the family's Wii System. He's at an age and intelligence now where we keep a white board on the refrigerator and I actually write it down much like a demerit and he signs it. So when the time comes where we are enjoying the Wii, he can look back on having signed it. It works. He made his bed. Wasn't happy but he did it. Key for me was to find out why he woke up grumpy. Easy answer is that he stayed up late reading in bed. I know as I found his book on the bed and his headboard light on with him crashed at 11pm.

 

My father thinks it should be mandatory for young adults to all go through time in the military because we have to many young punks running around that are the result of bad parenting and no teachings of what respect really is. I have to agree with him because from what I have seen so far in my time here on earth is that he is right.

 

You're father is right for many kids of age. However, a child as they are growing up is a sponge. No need to break them in the military if they have been raised properly.

Edited February 11, 2011 by TTQ B4U

[greg1647545532]

They will not see the right and wrong in their actions as well as one who is more sternly punished.

 

You need to stop thinking that physical violence is the only way to "sternly" punish someone. By all accounts (my family, friends, etc.) I am an incredibly stern parent, I just don't yell and I don't hit. There's better ways to get through to kids, I'm convinced of it.

 

I see this with alot of people in my generation and there are alot less well manored people my age than there are spoiled brats that have gotten everything they wanted and never had to answer to athority.

 

I say again, answering to authority does not have to involve physical punishment or draconian measures like solitary confinement. You seem to think there's two options, spanking your kids or letting them get away with everything. You can be strict and non-violent. It just takes effort.

 

Im sorry but there is no coralation between crime rates going down and spanking going out of style that is one of the most far fetched ideas I have read in a long time.

 

I never suggested there was. You, however, suggested that the lack of spanking is the reason things have gotten worse, which is just as ridiculous an assertion, primarily because things aren't getting worse.

 

I never questioned your style of parenting you did that yourself by feeling the need to prove yourself in your statements.

 

No you didn't, you defended physical violence towards kids. I'm attacking it. I'm confident in my approach to parenting, and I'm also confident that violence is inferior. Get your cut rate pop psychology out of here.

 

My father thinks it should be mandatory for young adults to all go through time in the military because we have to many young punks running around that are the result of bad parenting and no teachings of what respect really is. I have to agree with him because from what I have seen so far in my time here on earth is that he is right.

 

Tell your dad that we don't want kids with social problems in the military. I'm sick of people thinking that the military is a dumping ground for kids with discipline issues. It's a real profession that requires real professionals who already know how to respect authority. The military can't change someone's personality that much. If they're already a little shit, they won't hack it.

[El Karacho1647545492]

This lady crossed a few lines. First of all, this is not tough love. Handcuffing someone against their will is ILLEGAL, it doesn't matter if its your kid.

 

Lets look at this from a couple angles; first, momma has no idea how to be a parent. Even if what this kid is lacking is a healthy dose of Jesus, the solution isn't to cuff him in a room with nothing but a Bible. That'll just make him hate the Bible, as anyone who has ever taken the time to talk to a teenager will know.

 

Further more, those who still think this is just tough love, consider this; the kid was still handcuffed when momma left the house. What if there was a fire? Would his death have just been an unfortunate coincidence of being punished at the same time as a fire broke out at the same time that momma wasn't home? No, it would've probably been a manslaughter charge for momma.

 

The bottom line is that momma is just lazy. She clearly didn't take the time to LISTEN to her kid, and instead figured that Jesus would do the work for her if she kept him chained up long enough (thats how prison works, right?).

 

EDIT: She should've just sent him to one of those "scared straight" programs like this one:

http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/articles/kids-in-scaredstraight-program-visit-horrifying-cl,19156/

[I Eat Rice]

Kids are not at all like animals. The mere fact that they are not fully rational or fully developed is exactly why you should not punish them with pain or force. No different than a puppy that pee's in the house. He's too young to associate an ass beating with his pissing. Puppies like kids will associate the punishment with the one giving it. Period.

 

Kids don't need to burn their hands or cut their arms to know consequences. Tough love doesn't mean physical pain or punishment. You can be harsh and stern without being physical. Taking away their toys/privileges is tough love.

 

 

 

Sure they can. My kids sat on and still do sit on a stool in the pantry for punishment. Timeouts do work. The root idea is to provide them tempory separation from where the inappropriate behavior has occurred and to allow them time to cool off. They absolutely see the picture. Our kids hate time outs and have learned that whatever they do, my kids know mom and dad DO NOT get angry or loud or yell, we simply put them in time out. Part of getting a "rise" out of mom and dad is exactly what many kids acting up are trying to do. They play you and if you respond, you re-affirm that play.

 

I did it this morning with my son who refused to make his bed. That's his choice and by not doing so, he is choosing to sacrifice play time on the family's Wii System. He's at an age and intelligence now where we keep a white board on the refrigerator and I actually write it down much like a demerit and he signs it. So when the time comes where we are enjoying the Wii, he can look back on having signed it. It works. He made his bed. Wasn't happy but he did it. Key for me was to find out why he woke up grumpy. Easy answer is that he stayed up late reading in bed. I know as I found his book on the bed and his headboard light on with him crashed at 11pm.

 

 

 

You're father is right for many kids of age. However, a child as they are growing up is a sponge. No need to break them in the military if they have been raised properly.

No offense but alot of what you said lost credibility as soon as you said in your first line that young children are not like animals then by your third sentence you are making a comparision between little kids and puppies and how their punishments should be simular in comparison. I had to force myself to read the rest of the post. Your forgeting an important point too we as humans are also animals. Our species is homo sapiens. We are a mamual. What happens in the animal world when one steps out of line in say a pack of wolves? The one stepping out of line gets an ass beating by the alpha. We as a family unit are mearly a pack and when the little one steps out of line the alpha ie dad, or even mom sometimes has to crack the whip and put them back in line. I hate to say it but taking away my things when I was little did nothing and I used to laugh when I got sent to my room. I saw absoutly no punishment in that if anythng I liked it because I got to chill and my parents wouldnt bother me. Now dont get me wrong these tactics could be useful if you are also stern parents but most are not and just send their kids to their rooms or timeout because they do not want to deal with the situation at hand and its the easy way out just send the punk to his room. I have to also disagree with you in the sense that pain and shock and awe value is the more effective way of dealing with a situation when it comes to a young child. That is going to be what sticks in his head because he is processing so much information on a daily basis that the monotone stuff is going to go in one ear and out the other and never processed. Being quiet and saying ok sorry Jimmy but now you have to go to your room and think about what you did will not work and you will be going through the same process tomorrow when little Jimmy has done the same thing.

[99FLHRCI]

I think it needs to be handled on a case by case basis of kid by kid as it may be. I can tell you right now that taking things away or sending me to my room did nothing to deter me. In fact, I enjoyed the time alone and away from the world as much as I still enjoy it. I cannot tell you a single reason why I was sent to my room and I probably repeated those same mistakes time and time again. I can tell you why I got swatted and I usually didn't repeat those. I can also tell you things friends did just prior to them getting swatted in front of me. Now if you look at my girlfriend, all her dad had to do was express his disappointment in her and her actions and she was so upset that it never crossed her mind to do it again. Two very different people require two very different forms of punishment/correction. You have to know your child and you have to know what works for them.

[I Eat Rice]

You need to stop thinking that physical violence is the only way to "sternly" punish someone. By all accounts (my family, friends, etc.) I am an incredibly stern parent, I just don't yell and I don't hit. There's better ways to get through to kids, I'm convinced of it.

 

 

 

I say again, answering to authority does not have to involve physical punishment or draconian measures like solitary confinement. You seem to think there's two options, spanking your kids or letting them get away with everything. You can be strict and non-violent. It just takes effort.

 

 

 

I never suggested there was. You, however, suggested that the lack of spanking is the reason things have gotten worse, which is just as ridiculous an assertion, primarily because things aren't getting worse.

 

 

 

No you didn't, you defended physical violence towards kids. I'm attacking it. I'm confident in my approach to parenting, and I'm also confident that violence is inferior. Get your cut rate pop psychology out of here.

 

 

 

Tell your dad that we don't want kids with social problems in the military. I'm sick of people thinking that the military is a dumping ground for kids with discipline issues. It's a real profession that requires real professionals who already know how to respect authority. The military can't change someone's personality that much. If they're already a little shit, they won't hack it.

I will come at this as need be. Let me re state that I am not for the all out just beat the shit out of your kids whenever you feel like it and get back to your Bush Light and the Browns game idea. You seem to think that I am. There are just times that call for more punishment than just the simple go to your room and act like you are thinking about what you did. Like I said before time outs and things taken away meaned nothing to me what so ever. I could have cared less like I said, I liked the time sitting in my room alone. I usually just took a nap. Now when I got spanked, however, I always knew to the point what I did and also never did it again plain and simple. I think it goes on a basis of what the personality of the child is. Are they super sensative or are they a hard ass stubbrun little guy? If they are super sensative then by all means time out and what not will by most instances work cause the kid feels so bad about making mommy and daddy mad that a spanking is usually not needed. I was not like this so force was necessary at times. You accuse me of being one tracked minded and only thinking spanking is the only answer, well you are just as one tracked minded as I am you are just on the other side, and very stern about your feelings. Look at what I just said I am not calling for the extreme beating of your children, and I do understand that there are other means of punishment, but from experance they never worked for me.

Crime has steadily been going down at the same time that spanking is going out of style.

You did say it ha ha ha. I made no direct statment about crime and spanking you brought that up, I mearly stated that we don't have stern parenting in this world anymore and that is why we have so many mis guided young adults running around. Now the military point... Where else do we send them? It is proven prision does not work it just makes you better at what you do bad. It is obvious that many parents are chilling on the sidelines and doing nothing. The military is a positive way to break a child down and make them some what of an accepted person to society. Also the military does change people that much. Why else do we have soliders coming back this fucked up in the head and not able to re join society because their minds can not accept what they are made to do in combat. The point of the military is to break you to make you and then turn you into a machine of war that does not think in combat but simply acts...

[I Eat Rice]

I think it needs to be handled on a case by case basis of kid by kid as it may be. I can tell you right now that taking things away or sending me to my room did nothing to deter me. In fact, I enjoyed the time alone and away from the world as much as I still enjoy it. I cannot tell you a single reason why I was sent to my room and I probably repeated those same mistakes time and time again. I can tell you why I got swatted and I usually didn't repeat those. I can also tell you things friends did just prior to them getting swatted in front of me. Now if you look at my girlfriend, all her dad had to do was express his disappointment in her and her actions and she was so upset that it never crossed her mind to do it again. Two very different people require two very different forms of punishment/correction. You have to know your child and you have to know what works for them.

 

I agree 100% my man +1 to you for seeing the light. How is the teg running btw? Me and Brandon can not wait to get out to the track with you guys and Mark again this year.

Edited February 11, 2011 by I Eat Rice

[smokin5s]

Hey I've just got 3 kids, what do I know about parenting.

 

I have 2 and the older one (step child) was allowed to do anything she wanted and was never punished.... which did no good... I remember her kicking my wife in the back while carrying something down stairs because she didn't want it removed from her room... but you're right kids should be allowed to express themselves and never learn there is consiquences to their actions. Funny how my parents raised us with dicilpline and respect... guess what, I have a good job, and a viable member of scioety and have never stollen or hurt anyone (granted I'm very angry, but that's a whole different issue)

 

You don't teach respect, you earn it. You don't teach respect, you teach children Who and What to respect. What this woman did is absolutely not conducive to earning her childs respect and it absolutely is not showing him the proper actions or behaviors to look up to or respect in life.

 

 

 

People as is all of us? the media? the authorities? seems to me like the problem with this boy was that the no one else besides his shit head mother was involved. Perhaps if he had someone to look up to and respect and to teach him how to act and respond to his own actions, he would be in a much better place with himself.

 

 

 

I'm speechless. A CR First I know!

 

 

 

So you were taught respect through fear and that fear equals respect. I'll let Tilly chime in although I don't see him doing so here...but that's not what you'll find in any solid parenting guide or behaviorists teachings. You're actually living up to what Greg's first comments were in terms of the cycle repeating itself. There's a much better way.

 

Anyone who meets my 5 and 8 year old will get that. We are firm parents, but we teach who and what to respect in terms of people and especially behaviors. Our kids aren't perfect, but they are being taught proper behavior through example and through true leadership which is a skill very, very few parents have.

 

Bullshit on most of everything you said... Tim, as a person I really like you, but your parenting skills are lacking if this is what your thought process is. You Teach your child respect end of story... this earning bullshit is exactly that... you are their parents, they will respect you and in turn learn how to respect other authoritative people. Your thought process of teaching respect with fear is nonsense.... I don't fear my parents at all, but I also knew if I disrespected them or anyone else, there was consiquences to my actions.

 

I agree with alot of the things you say. The little kids are like dumb animals is a little of a streach but I do get what you are saying. They do not process rationalized thoughts like we do because their brains are not fully developed. Thus they have to feel that the stove is hot to know its hot, feel that the knife is sharp to know that it is sharp, feel the tough love of fucking up to know that they have fucked up, on and on and on. By sticking them in a corner and in their room does nothing because they can not rationalize what is going on and see the big picture like an adult can. My father thinks it should be mandatory for young adults to all go through time in the military because we have to many young punks running around that are the result of bad parenting and no teachings of what respect really is. I have to agree with him because from what I have seen so far in my time here on earth is that he is right.

exactly my point!

 

No offense but alot of what you said lost credibility as soon as you said in your first line that young children are not like animals then by your third sentence you are making a comparision between little kids and puppies and how their punishments should be simular in comparison. I had to force myself to read the rest of the post. Your forgeting an important point too we as humans are also animals. Our species is homo sapiens. We are a mamual. What happens in the animal world when one steps out of line in say a pack of wolves? The one stepping out of line gets an ass beating by the alpha. We as a family unit are mearly a pack and when the little one steps out of line the alpha ie dad, or even mom sometimes has to crack the whip and put them back in line. I hate to say it but taking away my things when I was little did nothing and I used to laugh when I got sent to my room. I saw absoutly no punishment in that if anythng I liked it because I got to chill and my parents wouldnt bother me. Now dont get me wrong these tactics could be useful if you are also stern parents but most are not and just send their kids to their rooms or timeout because they do not want to deal with the situation at hand and its the easy way out just send the punk to his room. I have to also disagree with you in the sense that pain and shock and awe value is the more effective way of dealing with a situation when it comes to a young child. That is going to be what sticks in his head because he is processing so much information on a daily basis that the monotone stuff is going to go in one ear and out the other and never processed. Being quiet and saying ok sorry Jimmy but now you have to go to your room and think about what you did will not work and you will be going through the same process tomorrow when little Jimmy has done the same thing.

 

werd.... again Tim, I really like you as a person, but you're way off my friend. Kids need boundaries... How do you teach a child boundaries? not by putting them in the corner... that is laziness as a parent IMO... the hardest thing I've ever had to do is spank... no good parent enjoys it, but knows it's necissary... and if you do it properly and explain to the child why and that there is concequences for their actions then you won't have to do it many times to get your point across.

 

I've said it once and I'll say it again, kids are dumb animals... and yes I said animals... like was said before, we are all animals.

[TTQ B4U]

No offense but alot of what you said lost credibility as soon as you said in your first line that young children are not like animals then by your third sentence you are making a comparision between little kids and puppies and how their punishments should be simular in comparison. I had to force myself to read the rest of the post.

 

When it comes to learning, kids like structure as do dogs. The difference comes that when you ring a bell, a dog can be trained to go outside to piss. That classic conditioning isn't how kids learn. They don't get the urge to pee after you ring a bell. That's how you teach a dog to go outside, but you teach a kid to make their bed and do their choirs through leadership and respect for their home and family. They both will however, associate a person with the source of feelings such as fear.

 

Fear doesn't yield respect in children. Not in dogs either. Don't believe me, then call your dog in from outside and beat his ass and act like Alpha. Do that for one day and I'll bet you $100 your dog won't come to you AT ALL the next day if ever again. He doesn't respect you, he fears you. A child such as this teen will rebel and run away just the same.

 

You don't teach dogs or kids with fear. They will end up not listening but rather rebelling and won't do things FOR YOU. No different than a boss / employee relationship. If a boss has to ride his employees to do the work, either they made a bad hire, or they haven't earned respect from their people.

 

Your forgeting an important point too we as humans are also animals. Our species is homo sapiens. We are a mamual. What happens in the animal world when one steps out of line in say a pack of wolves? The one stepping out of line gets an ass beating by the alpha. We as a family unit are mearly a pack and when the little one steps out of line the alpha ie dad, or even mom sometimes has to crack the whip and put them back in line.

 

Dude, that's sad if you were raised like that. You know my entire life I have always done things for my parents out of love and respect; not out of fear. I will NEVER instill fear in my kids. Nothing good will ever come from it. I hope you enjoy your "pack" Tonight at our home, we are enjoying "family" movie night. Pack - Family; HUGE Difference. Huge.

 

I hate to say it but taking away my things when I was little did nothing and I used to laugh when I got sent to my room. I saw absoutly no punishment in that if anythng I liked it because I got to chill and my parents wouldnt bother me.

 

Because you had ZERO respect for your parents. That's clear. What's worse is you admit you got to "Chill" and your parents wouldn't bother you. WOW. So you caused trouble and your parents simply banished you to your room and left you to Chill. THAT'S exactly the problem and a clear example of what NOT to do.

 

I have to also disagree with you in the sense that pain and shock and awe value is the more effective way of dealing with a situation when it comes to a young child. That is going to be what sticks in his head because he is processing so much information on a daily basis that the monotone stuff is going to go in one ear and out the other and never processed. /QUOTE]

 

Are fucking serious? You would show your kids Pain and Shock and Awe type reactions/behavior? Just doing so and instilling in a child that such a way is the best way for them to deal with things is so far from doing what's right. Dude, tell me you aren't raising kids like that. Don't....I don't even want to know. Again, speechless. You're absolutely right.....that's what's going to stick in their head.

 

WOW!

[TTQ B4U]

I'll give you a couple examples of how you earn respect with a 7 going on 8 year old boy.

 

When my son didn’t want to go to sleep as most kids will often fight bedtime, I asked him if he wanted to stay up. He said yes. I asked what he would like to do, he said play or read. Fine, I said he could stay up and read to himself or play with one small toy in bed. Within 20 minutes each night, zero issues, ZERO...he'd fall asleep in bed. Now, the added bonus is it's turned him into a avid reader.

 

When he refused a bath, I offered a shower, which he thought was great fun. Then when he and is sister resisted, I asked if our boy who is growing up would like to take his own shower. Empowerment dude.....you control it, they know that, why fight what can easily be managed. Same for brusing teeth. Why fight it. Empower your kids to do it. They will gladly eat it up and do it for you.

 

We always asked what our kids would like for dinner and make sure at least one thing we cook is that. How simple man. We have ZERO issues at dinner time.

[mjrsplat]

bottom line is, each child is different. i dont disagree with spanking, but it should be a LAST resort. not a FIRST resort. not every child will listen and obey if you put them in a corner, not every kid will start listening if you spank them.. some children just need to talk things out and that straightens them up, it all depends on the child. at any rate the handcuffing scenario is retarded. obviously its abuse. if you were handcuffed to your chair, to your bed, all day every day for a week when you were 16 you would have called it abuse too. dont believe me? go get some handcuffs, and have someone do it to you. bottom line is there are MANY effective ways to raise a child. there is no right way to discipline children, as long as you give it all your effort, ask for advice, dont give up on your kids, and dont cross the line of abuse, people cant call you a "bad parent" if youre a lazy fuck that lets your kid run wild, then youre a bad parent.

[TTQ B4U]

I think it needs to be handled on a case by case basis of kid by kid as it may be. I can tell you right now that taking things away or sending me to my room did nothing to deter me. In fact, I enjoyed the time alone and away from the world as much as I still enjoy it.

 

Did I say anything about sending kids to their room alone? No. Timeouts are not alone time. Sending them to their room alone does nothing productive. Just as here, you can't just handcuff the kid and throw him in a room and expect change.

 

I can also tell you things friends did just prior to them getting swatted in front of me. Now if you look at my girlfriend, all her dad had to do was express his disappointment in her and her actions and she was so upset that it never crossed her mind to do it again. Two very different people require two very different forms of unishment/correction. You have to know your child and you have to know what works for them.

 

While I agree that each person is different, you don't manage them differently by hitting one and not the other. In the case of your girlfriend, you used the term disappointment. That's exactly what a parent wants; a child to do good so that they don't disappointment. My guess is she was not shown violence, fear or hit.