Jizzle Juice Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 (CNN) -- Police in Maryland are on the hunt for the perpetrator of what appears to be an April Fools' Day prank that left a man glued to a toilet at a Wal-Mart store. If caught, the jokester who doused the seat with glue at the Elkton Wal-Mart on March 31 could face second-degree assault charges, said Lt. Matthew Donnelly of the Elkton Police Department. Police, along with the Singerly Fire Co. and the Cecil County paramedics, were called to the scene at about 7 p.m. There, they found the 48-year-old victim, who called for help after realizing the sticky situation he was in when he tried -- and failed -- to stand up and leave the superstore's restroom, Donnelly said. It took responders 15 minutes to remove the victim from the stall, but they were unable to disconnect the toilet seat from his body, Donnelly said. Instead, the victim was taken to Union Hospital of Cecil County, where the seat was detached. He left with only minor injuries to his buttocks, Donnelly said. Police do not suspect that the victim was specifically targeted, but that the incident was a random prank, Donnelly said. They have not received reports of glue-laden toilet seats since. http://www.cnn.com/2011/US/04/06/maryland.toilet.prank/index.html?iref=NS1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CRed05 Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 Haha. So let me get this straight. You obviously have to wait for the glue to dry. So this dude went into the stall, didn't look at the seat or didn't notice anything on the seat and sat down. Then he had to have felt something moist on the seat, but instead of standing up he said fuck it and just sat there and finished his business. I inspect the hell out of public toilets before sitting down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6 Speed S4 Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 haha thats funny but I would be pissed as hell if it happened to me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pedro1647545510 Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 Haha. So let me get this straight. You obviously have to wait for the glue to dry. So this dude went into the stall, didn't look at the seat or didn't notice anything on the seat and sat down. Then he had to have felt something moist on the seat, but instead of standing up he said fuck it and just sat there and finished his business. I inspect the hell out of public toilets before sitting down. LMAO. My thoughts exactly. Sounds like all the more reason to lay down some sort of paper barrier before putting in work in a public bathroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iwashmycar Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 Im sure there are a lot of people who just plop on down and get to it... which is why (if you must use them) you lay down a rediculous amount of paper lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TTQ B4U Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 So this dude went into the stall, didn't look at the seat or didn't notice anything on the seat and sat down. Then he had to have felt something moist on the seat, but instead of standing up he said fuck it and just sat there and finished his business. ^^ This. I don't care if the seat "appears" clean, I always take paper towels in there, and lay down the barrier. I do the same on the floor in front of the toilet so my pants don't drop down on the 22 years of dried piss and shit that's in front of 99% of any public toilet. I'll admit, I have pissing and shitting in public restrooms down to the last detail and will probably write a short how-to artical for wiki at some point. My son knows the drill too and can now safely go in there by himself and never touch anything outside his "business" with his bare hands. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otis Nice Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 That's worse than getting done and realizing there's no TP. Imagine making that call. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Spam Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 elmers glue and toilet paper plus your ass equals at a minimum your girl ripping shreaded tp from your bumhole for a week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forrest Gump 9 Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 I'm not proud to say this, in the rare occasion that I have to resort to the public bathroom I've always swat on the seat to do my business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjrsplat Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 I'm not proud to say this, in the rare occasion that I have to resort to the public bathroom I've always swat on the seat to do my business. bet you will think twice about doing that now. i have my own custom hand made european leather seat cover for such occasions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jizzle Juice Posted April 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 I hover point blank period! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forrest Gump 9 Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 bet you will think twice about doing that now. i have my own custom hand made european leather seat cover for such occasions. Why? What I mean is I put my feet on the seat. Worse case, my shoes stuck on the seat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CRed05 Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiR8ofWqZy8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjrsplat Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 Why? What I mean is I put my feet on the seat. Worse case, my shoes stuck on the seat. lol. my apologies, i didnt know exactly what you meant by "swat on the seat" i bring my european leather cover to put on the seat, then stand up barefoot to shit. feels amazing. best part is the leather wipes clean after. sometimes when it gets too messy, i hop over the wall of the stall to exit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jizzle Juice Posted April 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiR8ofWqZy8 BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA ive never seen that hahahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unfunnyryan Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 Usually when I see white goo like substance on a toilet I avoid sitting there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littleguy Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 The "stature" of most WalMart customers probably prevents them from feeling or seeing very much "down there". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
im faster Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 Haha. So let me get this straight. You obviously have to wait for the glue to dry. So this dude went into the stall, didn't look at the seat or didn't notice anything on the seat and sat down. Then he had to have felt something moist on the seat, but instead of standing up he said fuck it and just sat there and finished his business. I inspect the hell out of public toilets before sitting down. HAHA.. and who doesnt put down a paper ass gasket? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TTQ B4U Posted April 8, 2011 Report Share Posted April 8, 2011 Why? What I mean is I put my feet on the seat. Worse case, my shoes stuck on the seat. Post a vid up on the web. $5 says Linn finds it and posts the link on CR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major_golf Posted April 8, 2011 Report Share Posted April 8, 2011 funny shit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sturg1647545502 Posted April 8, 2011 Report Share Posted April 8, 2011 I hate to tell you guys this, but tp doesent really protect your hand or your exposed ass from shit. The use of toilet paper was not common in the United States until after the early 1900's. The problem today is that there is a total reliance on toilet paper to keep feces off the fingertips, however there are no performance standards for toilet paper (70). Consumer Reports (5) reviewed toilet paper performance and found a wide variation among samples tested in wet strength, tear resistance, and absorbency. As long as there are no performance standards, or standards for use, no one should assume that toilet paper provides an effective barrier to keep fingertips free of fecal pathogens. http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:mj3W8YXbR4cJ:www.sproutnet.com/Reports/safe_hands.htm+does+toilet+paper+stop+microbes&cd=3&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us&source=www.google.com It'll all an illusion man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jizzle Juice Posted April 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2011 Exactly why i hover!!! get wit it guys! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TTQ B4U Posted April 8, 2011 Report Share Posted April 8, 2011 I hate to tell you guys this, but tp doesent really protect your hand or your exposed ass from shit. Baby Wipes FTW. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sturg1647545502 Posted April 8, 2011 Report Share Posted April 8, 2011 as long as you wash your hands and dont toss your own salad, you'll be fine in life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Main3s Posted April 8, 2011 Report Share Posted April 8, 2011 Haha. So let me get this straight. You obviously have to wait for the glue to dry. So this dude went into the stall, didn't look at the seat or didn't notice anything on the seat and sat down. Then he had to have felt something moist on the seat, but instead of standing up he said fuck it and just sat there and finished his business. I inspect the hell out of public toilets before sitting down. You're probably not the "typical wal-mart shopper" i guess Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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