V8 Beast Posted May 1, 2011 Report Share Posted May 1, 2011 The other night after a long stressful day I decided to treat myself. It took about 30 minutes searching the web but I finally decided to go with bondage as a visual stimulant. Typically I'm more into lipstick lesbian stuff but for some reason hardcore bondage made my balls tingle that night. At first it was a little uncomfortable getting a pattern together because they kept doing close ups on this guy and his sweaty muscles. To make it worse he was grunting and making stupid faces the entire time. I dont know about you but when I'm playing tug boat I dont want to dock when there is a guy on the screen. I did that once and felt like a dirty prison bitch. If I could I would have stuffed my baby parachute back in the bag and tried to run that race again if you get my drift. So after getting my mojo together I could feel the end was near. Being defensive minded I try to avoid making messes with my man jello. Well today there was a hole in my defenses and I am left wondering what to do. Not sure how, or if there was a breeze indoors, but it hooked to the left mid flight and hit my keyboard. I immediately went from an o face to an oh no face. Everything went in slow motion while I was left feeling helpless. Its crazy watching what appeared to be a break in the matrix causing the coordinates above my north pointing man compass to ignore the laws of gravity. In all my days of playing defense I never knew I had to be prepared for the backspin. Well.. in short I got jizz in between the keys on my keyboard. At this point is it time to buy a new one? I tried the canned air but that just made it look like I was trying to airbrush my under-keys. Any help with the matter would be greatly appreciated. P.S. Don't judge me :fa: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patterson Posted May 1, 2011 Report Share Posted May 1, 2011 We're gonna need a chart for this. If this is a shared key board, just buy a new one. Unless you're comfy with everyone else in the home using the "Sticky Keys". If this is yours solely, flush that thing out with alcohol, try to forget this little slip up ever occurred. P.S. It's okay of you're a perv. It's not like it was two men beating each other right? Or a Monkey beating the man. Or even more paradoxic. A Monkey spanking the monkey.. Personally I enjoy eating vegetables. Because they don't squirm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V8 Beast Posted May 1, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2011 We're gonna need a chart for this. If this is a shared key board, just buy a new one. Unless you're comfy with everyone else in the home using the "Sticky Keys". If this is yours solely, flush that thing out with alcohol, try to forget this little slip up ever occurred. P.S. It's okay of you're a perv. It's not like it was two men beating each other right? Or a Monkey beating the man. Or even more paradoxic. A Monkey spanking the monkey.. Personally I enjoy eating vegetables. Because they don't squirm. My wifes mom uses it from time to time. The other day she asked if someone had been sick and sneezed. I told her it was spilled clam chowder in an attempt to think on my toes. Watching her scrape the crust off the spacebar before going to wash her hands is why I made this thread. It kind of turned me on, but deep down inside I knew it wasnt right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patterson Posted May 1, 2011 Report Share Posted May 1, 2011 My wifes mom uses it from time to time. The other day she asked if someone had been sick and sneezed. I told her it was spilled clam chowder in an attempt to think on my toes. Watching her scrape the crust off the spacebar before going to wash her hands is why I made this thread. It kind of turned me on, but deep down inside I knew it wasnt right. When In-laws are involved, I would just sit back nod in agreeance and sit there with the satisfaction of what just occurred. Profit man, profit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AWW$HEEET Posted May 1, 2011 Report Share Posted May 1, 2011 Find stray cat Put cat on keyboard Let cat lick between keys for the "hidden treasure" meal Dump cat on side of road Enjoy clean keyboard Profit??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjrsplat Posted May 1, 2011 Report Share Posted May 1, 2011 it is rumored cordell once smothered a cat that didnt clean his keyboard right. pop the keys off, then clean it. or smear it in peanut butter and let the family dog clean it up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V8 Beast Posted May 1, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2011 So thats why your entire apartment smells like peanut butter... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjrsplat Posted May 1, 2011 Report Share Posted May 1, 2011 So thats why your entire apartment smells like peanut butter... no, but thats why your place mysteriously smells like peanut butter. i dont have a dog. :dumb: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Pomade Posted May 1, 2011 Report Share Posted May 1, 2011 It kind of turned me on, but deep down inside I knew it wasnt right. This thread is winning at life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Brian Posted May 1, 2011 Report Share Posted May 1, 2011 o face to an oh no face oh man I've made that face before when I pull out and look down at a broken condom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V8 Beast Posted May 1, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2011 no, but thats why your place mysteriously smells like peanut butter. i dont have a dog. :dumb: Then what in the fuck was that hairy ass thing sitting on your couch looking like chewbacca with a perm? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hal Posted May 1, 2011 Report Share Posted May 1, 2011 You have a dog. Let the dog use its natural cleaning ability. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V8 Beast Posted May 1, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2011 oh man I've made that face before when I pull out and look down at a broken condom Right! Talking about killing a buzz. Then the girl wants to look at you funny when you come at her love hole with a vacuum attachment. Does she espect you to suck it out with your mouth... I think not! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjrsplat Posted May 1, 2011 Report Share Posted May 1, 2011 Then what in the fuck was that hairy ass thing sitting on your couch looking like chewbaca with a perm? your grandma's wig. she can have it back if she wants it, i just wanted to rub her bald head while she was taking it balls deep in her mouth with her dentures out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Brian Posted May 1, 2011 Report Share Posted May 1, 2011 Right! Talking about killing a buzz. Then the girl wants to look at you funny when you come at her love hole with a vacuum attachment. Does she espect you to suck it out with your mouth... I think not! women.. pff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V8 Beast Posted May 1, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2011 your grandma's wig. she can have it back if she wants it, i just wanted to rub her bald head while she was taking it balls deep in her mouth with her dentures out. Talking about imaginary sex partners is so high school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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