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Talk me out of waiting to get married/having kids at 50


BigOxley

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Here's the deal CR, I think I've got it figured out.... I'm currently 35, never married, no kids, homeowner, with a career. I have a girlfriend, but no plans on anything past next week. I save over 20% of my income for retirement and will have a pension...hopefully. house will be paid in 10 or so years. retirement age is 51 and military retirement (collecting benefits) age 58.

 

When I'm 50, find a nice 25-30 year old girl with daddy issues who wants kids, maybe younger... who knows

Have kids after retirement, therefore be home for the rug rats.

60 when the kids are 10ish, wife is 35-40.

70 when the kids go to college, wife 45-50

80 when the kids are 30, 55-60. (lots of able-bodied people to change my diapers)

Then i'm dead, wife can marry to the guy she probably been banging for the last 20 years because the Viagra didn't work.

 

cons?

 

Sounds like a solid plan to me. You can always make your wife deal with the kids or just make them play a bunch of sports so theyre never around. Haha

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My GF (26) who is a year older than me has been pestering me about children, marriage and pets. We have been together for 2 years now. I literally just got my debts paid and now this... Personally, i could wait another few years.
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Do you want kids at all? Do you care how they will grow up? If the answer is yes to both do it now.

 

from nothing more than personal experience, I had two friends who had "old" dads and their childhoods were kind of rough. They got teased a lot because the other kid's could tell their dad didn't fit in with the other dads, they couldn't relate to their parents because the age gap was too broad, in their teens they acted out and rebelled a lot and honestly both of their dads could seem to care less so a lot of that stuff went unchecked and hurt them later in life.

 

from a Dad standpoint - I don't care how fit you are you aren't going to have the energy at 50 do deal with the unending avalanche of shit that is keeping an infant alive in the first three years. It is intensely rewarding but I think some of that comes from being so sleep deprived as to be slightly euphoric.

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I've got a very applicable story... [EDIT: which happens to jibe with Keith's point above. LOL]

 

 

As a 37yo married with 2 kids, I've always been close to my older brother who is now 41. He got a full ride through the Army, became a dentist at OSU, endontistry spealist through Army...all on a full ride. He was sick of the military and bailed out. Bought a endodontistry practice in northern VA and is killing it $$$ but is sick/depressed.

 

He met a woman online who just happens to be a 41yo widow with an 8-yo son. She's a high-up at OSU School of Medicine and lives nearby. Now, after never seeing the guy for the last 20 years, he's up in C'bus almost every other weekend to be with her:leghump:. She and her son are also awesome people.

 

Within a few months they are already casually talking about him selling his practice and moving to C'bus, getting married, etc. My parents couldn't be happier, and it's an absolutely amazing situation for my brother who we thought for years might have been gay with the lack of GF action he had. :lol:

 

I say all of this because literally, this guy started off 2015 with no kids, no marriage and a life situation that made him depressed (despite what outsiders would think is an awesome, big money gig). Now, after meeting them myself, I absolutely couldn't imagine a better situation for my dear brother.

 

TL;DR? Don't consider getting a younger wife to be the game plan...just live YOUR LIFE and, if something is meant to happen, it will. No need planning for something that is best left to karma/kizmet/whatever. Way more professional women with kids that you could marry into than thinking about getting your own offspring at 55 through some needy bish in a totally different life situation than you.

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My GF (26) who is a year older than me has been pestering me about children, marriage and pets. We have been together for 2 years now. I literally just got my debts paid and now this... Personally, i could wait another few years.

 

I;ve been with my g/f now 5 years almost 6. Shes has brought up marriage a lot, moving in together etc. We both agree no kids for a while till we both are at a good financial stand point to afford anything. The moving in together I might do in a few years. I'm 26 almost 27, and finally have my own house, no kids just my 2 dogs and I love it.

 

Joe

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I think a lot of you are thinking about how you'd deal with being 50-60 with a job/kids/other responsibilities.

 

My "plan" is no other responsibilities. Wife/kids would be it.

 

Are grandparents not able to take care of children?

 

The daddy issues comment was a bit tongue in cheek. Obviously, I'd be vetting the baby maker.

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This guy gets it

 

So you pretty much just stated you want to have a young dumb girlfriend who when you decide to leave or die will get stuck with your kids and you don't care about paying $$ for it then??

 

What's the point of having the kid and not just a young dumb girl to take your money??

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The fact that you are even asking tells me you don't want that life.. It's hard on your body to have kids that late.. Even in my thirties my Neices and nephews wear me out. If give anything to have a kid-but I know into my 40s.. No kids for me
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Are grandparents not able to take care of children?

 

Not in every situation no (again depending on the age of the grandparent and the age of the child). My daughter is decidedly faster than my mother and my mother in law in their late 60's and I get nervous about some of the activities they do with her when visiting, esp since my daughter's current phase is to wander off or run away from people for fun and not come back when called.

 

something else to think about - having them in your 50's is not giving them much "quality time" with you in certain age ranges. The quality of life for most people in their 80's isn't great and that is when your kid is going to be getting into it's late 20's early 30's and just starting to be considered an actual adult and you aren't going to have that relationship. That's if you are lucky to make it to your 80's.

 

You are thinking about this too much. Trying to plan this they way you are isn't going to work out for you. live your life and let the universe happen.

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So you pretty much just stated you want to have a young dumb girlfriend who when you decide to leave or die will get stuck with your kids and you don't care about paying $$ for it then??

 

What's the point of having the kid and not just a young dumb girl to take your money??

 

 

I said nothing about dumb.

 

Though I have dipped a toe or two in the white trash pool, I would prefer to find a career oriented put-together lady friend.

 

My vision is more of a stay at home dad.

 

It's not like I'm going to hide my age. She will know what she is getting into. The hypothetical woman will know basic math, at least.

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I said nothing about dumb.

 

Though I have dipped a toe or two in the white trash pool, I would prefer to find a career oriented put-together lady friend.

 

My vision is more of a stay at home dad.

 

It's not like I'm going to hide my age. She will know what she is getting into. The hypothetical woman will know basic math, at least.

 

stay at home dad would be much different.. then agreeing with above posts you quoted..

 

Now here is the better question do you honestly think you would have enough in common with someone half our age at that point to actually get along and make a wife??

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stay at home dad would be much different.. then agreeing with above posts you quoted..

 

 

 

Now here is the better question do you honestly think you would have enough in common with someone half our age at that point to actually get along and make a wife??

 

 

I was agreeing to sharing the workload. You guys are pretending that I would need all the energy in the world to keep up with some ankle-biters.

 

Stay at moms and dads get breaks every once and a while.

 

Age tis but a number (after 18 of course)

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I was agreeing to sharing the workload. You guys are pretending that I would need all the energy in the world to keep up with some ankle-biters.

 

Stay at moms and dads get breaks every once and a while.

 

Age tis but a number (after 18 of course)

 

LOL. Best post of this thread. You seem to have it all figured out but are far from reality. Good luck brother. :gabe:

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